It's Not Cricket

I Realise This Is A Truism
After all, there are so many, many things in this world that are not cricket.  Football is not cricket.  Nuclear fission is not cricket.  The Pacific Ring Of Fire is, most definitely, not cricket.  Crickets are not cricket, either, and I'll argue all day long on that one.
     <Conrad realises he's forgotten what he ought to be talking about>
     Ah yes, what popped into my stew of a mind this afternoon but "Poskrebyshev", which I ignored as "The West Spring Gun" popped up in there straightaway.
     This is by way of moving onto the Not Cricket part, so bear with me please.
     The West Spring Gun has, I'm sure, already been covered by BOOJUM! a long time ago, so I shall be brief here.  It was a species of trench catapult invented by Captain West in 1915.

An engine of deadly

     It was extremely hazardous to operate, as the throwing arm had to be dragged back by up to three men and was likely to rebound and hit people in the face.  People - including the inventor - lost fingers to it's violent action.  If the trench was too deep, the grenade it launched would come bouncing right back at the crew.  Which is not what you want.
     Enter the Leach Trench Catapult:

Another engine of awesome

     Cheaper, more compact, and above all safer, this particular item recapitulates the Roman siege engines of antiquity.  As mentioned, it could lob a cricket ball - used by the re-enactors above as chucking live Mills Bombs around is likely to end in tears - up to 200 yards.  The only risk was having the bomb develop a high spin, as then it would come racing backwards to the catapult crew, like a friendly dog.  With an unpleasant bark.
     Before you jeer at the humble Leach Catapult, remember this; it used no explosives to launch it's projectile, so there was no warning bang or flash to the hapless Hun who were on the receiving end.  In fact the relatively low velocity of the projectile meant it could arrive un-noticed until it went off.  Nor was there a smoke or tracer trail to give away the launch site.

"Aber - dies is nicht Kricket!"

"Spit-Locked"
Sticking with the WW1 theme, this term came up in "The History of the Second Division" in the context of " - the trenches were only spit-locked."
     What?
     It took a bit of digging to reveal that the term means "to delineate a position to be dug by outlining it, by means of dragging a pick around it."
     There are no Google images for this term so Conrad suspects it's now obsolete.  Like Poskrebyshev.

Grit locked.  Close enough

Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
And the hilarity continues!
     Well, I think it's hilarious, and people still come along and read the blog, so I'm right.  On with the motley!

"The Car Machines"

"The Tench Planet"

"The Pow of the Daleks"

"The Moonbabe"

"The Macra Error"

"The Graceless Ones"

"Tom of the Cybermen"

"The Enemy of the Wold"

And we're only up to the Second Doctor.  What lies ahead!

All The Zeds*
As thought of in bed.
     In bed this morning that is.  Slightly more logical than the "Bogadzil-Clemente Microscope".

"Zebra"
It's unclear where this word actually originates from.  Possibly Italian via Portuguese via Congolese, entering the language in the Seventeenth Century.

We've all seen Zebras.  Here's something a little different

"Zephyr"
Meaning a gentle breeze, you will only find this word used by poets and poseurs, as everyone else will think you mean the car.  It derives from "Zephyrus", the Greek god of the west wind, who must have felt a bit back-of-the-queue when it came to getting powers, like Matter-Eater Lad or Colour Kid.

The Greek God Zehpyrus - no, hang on -

"Zebulon"
It's a boy's name, actually, meaning "Dwelling of the honoured".  It's rather nineteenth century and Conrad recalls one of H.P. Lovecraft's stories having a Zebulon in it.

The House of Lords.  Just full of Zebulons.

Okay, enough of the letter "Z" and on with the show, before Poskrebyshev shows up.

Hello Coincidence, Fancy Meeting You Here!
Yesterday found Conrad bemused by the bizarre determination of cats to fit into laundry baskets. Today we have an explanation courtesy of BBC via Wired:

http://www.wired.com/2015/02/whats-up-with-cats-and-boxes/#slide-id-1721093

     Now if they can only sort out why they inevitably choose to sit on what they shouldn't, we'd be one step closer to - oh, speaking of that, here's lovable Edna using Conrad as a species of warm armchair:

    And with a cute animal photo, we end this blog**.



* "Z" pronounced "Zed".  None of your American pronunciation here!
** Only for today.  Don't get your hopes up.