- as I may have mentioned being ON LEAVE this week, I normally sit at the kitchen table and drink tea until 12:00, getting in some serious reading. At 12:00 the cat and dog get fed their mid-day meal, and I go back to reading. The cat has her food on the table, as otherwise Edna will treat it as an additional free meal.
Once Edna has guzzled her food in mere seconds, she hangs around the table, which is too tall for her to climb or jump. However, if she can make the lap of anyone sitting at the table, she can then get up onto it in her relentless "Pooch on the Mooch" questing.
So! Conrad moves the cat's food bowl onto the sink worktop - again too high for Edna and she can't muster the agility to leap the gap.
 |
| Almost, Edna, almost <snicker> |
I don't know if this is specific to our cats, but O My! - they find laundry baskets irresistible. Full or empty, they simply must get into those laundry baskets.
 |
| "Yes, foolish human?" |
The Bogadzil-Clemente Microscope
I can hear what you're thinking, "What is this impressive-sounding piece of scientific kit? What makes it so special?"
What makes is special is that, er, it doesn't exist. Conrad dreamed it up, literally. There I was, fast asleep, dreaming about chatting to Mrs. Clemente in her lab as she stared into her patented Microscope (which resembled a horizontal stereoscope). Her maiden name had been Bogadzil, which I imagined was Turkish, although apparently it's not. It does seem to be a word in Polish.
 |
| I can't illustrate something that doesn't exist, so here's an industrial meat slicer instead |
"Imbroglio"
Aha! Caught you out, Oscar! I know why this word popped into my mind this afternoon. I had let the cat back into the kitchen after being outside and, as she sensed the possibility of food, suddenly I was her new best friend, so she came strolling over.
"Hello Stroll-io," I greeted her. Up came "Imbroglio" as it rhymes.
What does it mean? "A complicated and messy situation*". Derived from the Italian (and hence probably Latin) "Imbrogliare", meaning "to confuse".
| Luthor the Learned Husky gave Conrad a "You're full of it!" look. |
 |
| Conrad gave Luthor a "Yes I was full of it but thanks to modern medicine I'm not any more" look |
Car Names
I wonder. Who gets to choose the name of a car? Top dog in the manufacturing company? A panel of experts? A PR company? Randomly-selected members of the public?**
Look at a few randomly selected names. The Mondeo (Hispanic or Latin names seem to be popular); the Focus (a bit bland, that); the Trabant (a dreadful little car); the Cortina (I told you, Hispanic or Latin); the Riva (sounds like a ladies magazine).
Conrad has a few suggestions: the Ford Blob. The Opel Lollapallooza. The Renault Grinch. The SEAT Inferno. The Porsche Pedestrian Pulveriser. The Skoda Sandwich. The Fiat Undulator.
Shan't hold my breath!
 |
| Naming this would probably cause problems^. |
More Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
There has been a merciful pause in the creation of this slightly citric piece of spoofing, but we're back to business as usual.
"An Unearthly Chill"
"The Edge of De-Suction"
"Marco Ploo"
"The Kegs of Marinus"
"The Reign of Awful"
"Planet of Grants"
"The Wee Planet"
"The Crushade"
A Triple Coincidence Whammy
Okay, Conrad had never heard of the rather frightening South African raprock group "Die Antwoord" before a couple of weeks ago. Bear that in mind.
Now, this afternoon I'm reading "Empire", about Neill Blomkamp's newest film, "Chappie"; a film centred around a police robot that gets kidnapped. Who plays the kidnappers?
Die Antwoord.
That's not all. Tackling "V" for another session this afternoon, we end up in 1922 South West Africa, which is run by - South Africans. Sjambocks, Afrikaans and Windhoek***.
 |
| Chappie. Watch the ears. |
* Just like Oscar. My memory.
** Yes, I could just look it up. But where's the ranting tanting fun in that?
*** I keep telling you, everything is connected to everything else.
^ Don't worry, it's not real. Yet.
No comments:
Post a Comment