THE NUCLEAR EEL OF EMMA PEEL!

Because "Electric" Just Isn't Good Enough
Not when you're slandering an icon like Emma, it's not!
     I realise that BOOJUM! is really resorting to, frankly, desperate measures when it's title refers to a fictional character who never, not once, had an eel as a pet, a weapon, an accomplice or dinner.
     However, you can't deny that it makes a catchy couplet!
     Let us see what that facile incompetent Art can provide by way of illustration.
     Art Department!  Get on the case!

Sigh.  Why am I not surprised?

Bus Posters
As all you faithful readers know by now, Conrad is ever one to pay attention to bus posters.  They provide some grist for the blog's insatiable creative mill, after all, otherwise Conrad would have to rely entirely on Oscar*
     What we have now?  Three posters one after another.
     Christmas!  Er - Christmas?  Advertising Christmas in February?  Don't tell me, they began even earlier than usual this year.
     "Second Best Exotic M 2 3popk# wyyyyyyy"  Oops sorry, nodded off for a minute there.  Try again.  "Secon                  ".  Sorry, nodded off again.  Nope, this isn't going to happen.
     "Chappie": Ah now then this is more like it!  Yes!  And I've just watched the trailer of Ninja teaching Chappie to throw ninja stars to smash bottles.  Conrad, he might very well be watching this in the cinema soon.

The Big Show
Pierre Closterman's autobiography about his time in the R.A.F., which has thrown up a lot of tactical detail about aerial combat during the Second Unpleasantness, and also mention of an "Oleo Leg".
     What is this artefact?  Some kind of biscuit**?
     Well, no, it's not.

It's one of these

     Phew!  For a moment there I wondered if Art wouldn't -

Sigh.  Why am I not surprised?

     One thing that Pierre observes, repeatedly, is the phlegmatic nature of the English, which carries a bit of weight, him being an outside observer. Which naturally leads onto -

Phlegmatic
Once supposed to be one of the four humours, those possessed of phlegm were known as phlegmatic.
     Which leads us to the English.  To be phlegmatic is to be "Unemotional".
     That's us, alright.  Laconic, stoic and anechoic***.

Gerry Anderson Ergonomics: The Spectrum Maximum Security Vehicle
Once again Conrad has undying admiration for the people who sat down and designed this brute; they clearly had a concept and worked it out comprehensively.

MSV before nuclear attack

MSV after nuclear attack

     The MSV is used to transport and protect VIPs under threat from either terrorist or Mysteron attack.  It is more than just a mobile metal fort; the armour is layers of neo-Chobham with poly-carbide and  ultra-dense ceramic buffering, the windows are lead crystal and the vehicle can seal itself hermetically and operate in an environment contaminated with chemical, biological or radiological contamination.
     Since it weighs 8 tons and can manage 200 mph it's also unwise to try and stop it, unless you happen to have a Unitron tank to hand.

The Dinky model

     Formidable as the real-world thing was, the Dinky kit was a distinct disappointment after the made-up-of-awesome SPV.  All the MSV had was a couple of gull-wing doors.
     Bah!

Conrad reflects mournfully on the trauma of a forty-year old crap toy

Hello Coincidence, Fancy Meeting You Here!
What music has Conrad been playing recently?  Why, mostly the excellent Apparat Organ Quartet^, those electronica dudes from Iceland^^.  One of the premier tracks is "Konami".  Whilst Googling for the MSV, what did Conrad come across?
     Yeah, dead right, Konami.  Viz:

Unfortunately no MSV but you get my point.

     And Art got it right for once. I was expecting -

Sigh.  Just once, Art, just for once -

* His memory.  A dangerous precedent.
** Hardly, Conrad, you baffoon!  You don't build aircraft out of shortbread.
*** I'm not explaining any of these, you lazy rascals.  Go try some Google-fu!
^ Actually there's five of them.
^^ The country, not the frozen food retailer.  Just so we're clear.