The KILLER CRAB of ANDY MCNAB!

It Might Exist
You know Andy, SAS veteran and currently the name behind any number of ghost-written books.

This crab, apparently, is a killer

     It's not beyond the bounds of possibility that he has a paperweight made from the shell of a crab, filled with cement to weight it down, and that he's practiced the moves to take if an assailant came at him from behind, instantly disembowelling them with his razor-sharp concreted combat crustacean carapace.

"Help! An incredibly slow, clumsy monster is advancing on me!  Watch me fend-off it's claws -"

     Admittedly, the probability of this being correct is about on par with those of Conrad managing the England football team*, which is even greater than his chance of winning the Lottery(as he doesn't play it).

 Should I Risk It?
I don't think there's any real risk here, it's been sitting in the fridge since I bought it.  Plus, as I may have mentioned, being an alien does have advantages in that none of your hideous Hom. Sap. diseases can affect me.

5th January - practically still in date for Conrad

May I also update you on this lot:

There was also a bag of 2 Chicken Balti pies and a Heinz Ketchup Sausage Roll

     So far all the "Southern Chicken" is gone, and the balti pies and suasage roll, also those sausages on the right, and the Rustlers, and one of the sandwich spread cartons and the steak slice and chicken pie.  I've just stoked up on pea and ham soup so am not especially hungry, but when I am - Ginsters take cover!
     NB Stomach entirely untroubled.

"Z Nation"
Mixed feelings about this series ending.  
The Plus Side:  It means I can now watch other stuff like "Lilyhammer" or "The New Adventures of Captain Scarlet"** and a few of the stack of other films that I have waiting in the "To Watch" pile.

The Minus Side: It'll take at least four months to film and show the next season <grumpy face>.  And we were left with a bit of a cliff-hanger at the end of episode 13: NORAD has launched a tactical nuclear missile at the lab our heroes are just driving away from, the descent of which is also witnessed by Mack and Addy - whom I thought we'd never see again - and although this is a tactical missile it's yield is still going to be in the kilotonne range, so - will Team Bitemark survive?
     I also doubt we'll see Citizen Z survive.  For reasons not clear his Arctic base has been cross-targeted by not one but three nuclear missiles.

One, Two, Three - all for Z!

     <Conrad adopts a stern pose and tries to look clever>
     Here I shall put on my Nuclear War Expert hat and pontificate a bit about nuclear weapons.  As I said, Citizen Z has been cross-targeted by three weapons, all of which are going to arrive at almost the same time.  In fact the first warhead to detonate will cause "fratricide", in that the nuclear explosion, fireball, shockwave and debris will destroy the two other incoming missiles.  So, if he GETS BACK UNDERGROUND where he will be rather better protected than STANDING AROUND IN THE OPEN, he has a chance of surviving.  
     Next point is that nuclear missiles take a lot of maintenance.  A lot.  All the time.  Citizen Z's expository comment "They must be third strike weapons working on a dead-man's handle!" implies that they've been launched automatically with no human intervention.  This further implies that the maintenance and repair crews have not been on the job for about three years, meaning it's a moot point if those missiles will actually hit the target or explode if they do.

All of this has to work perfectly - or no Earth-shattering KABOOM!

     Conrad, ever the pedantic hair-splitting party pooper, would also like to point out that petrol has an expiry date of about nine months, so in reality Team Bitemark would be walking to California.

Gerry Anderson Ergonomics: The Spectrum Pursuit Vehicle
I have nothing but praise for the designer of this fantastic piece of kit.  Presumably because they were always being used on the series, someone sat down and thought about how this vehicle ought to work, function and be crewed.

SPV in rough terrain

     For starters, it isn't powered by a nuclear engine, possibly due to size constraints, instead using a "Hydrogenic" power unit, which is clearly a catalytic engine splitting water to utilise as hydrogen and oxygen.  So, sustainable, eco-friendly and able to function indefinitely in wet environments (i.e. the UK).

All round view

     Not easily visible in the top photo is the aerial array - because these can be lowered when not in use, a significant tactical issue when operating "hull-down".  Visible to the rear are the caterpillar tracks for use on rough or steep ground, again hydraulically operated.
     The SPV is armed with a large-calibre automatic cannon fitted into the nose, normally covered by a hatch which means far less risk of inbound dirt fouling or jamming the weapon.
     The most intriguing design for the SPV was the interior.  Gerry decided that the crew and passengers would face backwards, which makes their survival chances far higher in any crash situation.

Illustrated via the Dinky model

     "Where's the windscreen?" I hear you ask.  
     There isn't one!  This is an armoured combat vehicle.  Sticking a great big expanse of glass in it would seriously compromise it's function, so the crew drive by a monitor showing real-time displays of the road ahead.

Captain Blue demonstrating a 3 Point Turn

     This is quite the clever idea and we might even get to drive this way by 2067 in real life.

"V"
Still plugging away at this novel, which has spent most of a chapter on Malta during the Second Siege, when the Axis forces were bombing it around the clock.  Mr Pynchon gets the incidental details correct, including Maltese, which I believe is the only Semitic language that uses the Roman alphabet?  Not to mention Governor Dobbie, the terrible losses to convoys and looming starvation.
     Also the word "Oneiric", which I faithfully noted down to check up on.
     It means "Pertaining to Dreams"

Contemporary Valletta

 - and during the time "V" is set

And Finally -
Here is the national flag of Georgia

Don't complain.  It could have been a high-speed mincing machine instead.

     Just because.


* Mathematically as close to zero as you can get without actually being zero.
** I did whinge about this not being in the shops, and then discovered that it's all on Youtube.