THE BRUTAL BLENNY OF LENNY HENRY!

The "Blenny" Is A Fish, RIght?
It just sort of popped up in Conrad's cranium, which, obviously - obviously! - is pretty much a mental junkyard and I don't want to try a fish-rhyming pun only to discover that it's a species of succulent Mediterranean shrub, or a tactic in American football, or a Swedish pancake.
     Let us Google.

Ah, correct.
Also brutal

     Once again I confess the title of today's blog is complete fabrication, utterly untrue and that Lenny Henry has never ever threatened his fellow actors, directors, producers or scriptwriters with beating-by-blenny*.
     Now, hamster-deceiving Intro out of the way, on with the Motley!

Pomes
Conrad, as you may recollect, has been indicated as the go-to guy for a bit of doggerel verse when one of our staff leaves.  Today two went simultaneously, across to the other side of the room to Payroll, so your humble scribe had to do two poe- no, that's why I call them "pomes", because they certainly don't stand comparison with Shakespeare or Milton**.

     These are what you might call the first draft, and also mostly illegible.
     I'll get a copy of the real thing tomorrow just to prove the old dog has a bark or two left in him.

"Intercalary"
Nothing to do with food or dieting or nutritional energy, this is actually a term that refers to adding-in days to the year in order to make the Earth's untidy rotation match up with calendars.  We lack an intercalary day this year as there are only 28 in February 2015.
     Conrad's noseying into the intercalary concept also brought to light the splendidly-named and previously quite unknown "International Earth Rotation and Reference Systems Service" - I bet you didn't have them on your speed-dial, eh? - who can add or subtract an intercalary second from the last day of each month.

"That's pathetic.  PATHETIC!"

     Then there's ISO 8601, which is a specification laid down for a 52 week year, and how to write dates, which should be in the format YYYY/MM/D and NOT the peculiar way the South Canadians use!

"Still pathetic.  And BORING!"

"Celebritutes"
Forgive Conrad for trespassing into the realm of current affairs, but he has been thinking of a term, a word, a phrase, that can both describe and dismiss those members of the public willing to kill themselves, the audience and anyone - anyone! - who gets in their way of achieving fame, usually in some hideous "reality" program.
     And the title above gets the thumbs-up!
     The downside of being creative with language is that now I have to go and read the Dog Buns! Metro to find examples of these specimens.
     Oh well.  Into each life a little rain must fall and all that.

Celebritutes are dull.  Here's a Hawker Tempest showing it's moves

"Slake"
Another of those words that crop up in the course of the day, this time when Conrad was drinking from his bottle of ice and enjoying it immensely***.
     Where does it come from?  Old English, actually, from "Slaec" and thence to "Slacian", which means "To be less eager".  So you render your thirst less by drinking beer titrated salts of uranium hexaflouride water.

NO!  Actually - you might have something there, Art Department

"Captain Sinbad"
The best bit of this 1963 film is the last third, where Captain Sinbad and his gallant crew have to cross a Swamp Of Terror^ in order to reach a tower, because at the top of the tower is El Karim's heart, safely preserved in a block of crystal.  El Karim can only be killed by destroying his heart^^.
     Sinbad finds this out the hard way, when he impales El Karim fair and square:

"My Name's Pink!
Pink Ushon!"

     I'm sure you, gentle reader, see the flaw in El Kerim's cunning plan.  For one, what if Sinbad had lopped off a couple of limbs?  Or gone for the throat?  Or simply decapitated El Karim?

A silent retort to Conrad's apt question.
And yes, it is a giant hand not a small man

Tally Ho!  Blue Leader out, returning to base at angels seven on vector two seven two



 * This prevents BOOJUM! being sued for millions, right?
** Although they do occasionally have a funny pun in them.  Eat that, William!
***There are those who insist the office is freezing.  Would that it were!  IT IS HOT!
^ It's always "Swamp Of TERROR" or "Swamp of DOOM", isn't it?  By the law of averages surely there's a "Swamp of NAUGHTY"  or "Swamp Of MILD PANIC" or two?
^^ Medieval Arabia - heart transplant capital of the world!