All Your Base Are Belong To Gus

To Coin A Phrase
Lucky chap, Gus, having all those bases.

Gus, comic foil in "Psych", looking annoyed. Shawn, no doubt

     Here's one of them:

Not much of a view

But a lovely fixer-up opportunity

     Right!  That's the picture-heavy intro out of the way.  On with the motley!

The Replacement
As mentioned earlier, Conrad is a bit high-consumption when it comes to tea strainers.  He can't function properly without them, given the amount of tea he drinks.  So -

     This is a combined metal and plastic model and before Conrad popped it into the shopping trolley he could be seen giving it a good whacking, just to ensure it really is robust.  It survived this.  Will it survive Conrad's harsh and unrelenting tea-strainy regimen?
     We shall tea! Sorry, sorry - "See".  We shall see.

"Something Misbegotten In The Estate Of Gen. Marek"
Which, as you literate souls will no doubt recognise immediately, is a parody of that Danish bloke in Shakespeare.  Also a completely accurate description of the first story in my collection of tales about Eden Underwood, bucolic and charming English country village, where you will disappear if you don't fit in.
     Conrad was a little surprised to see the word total up to 20,000 already.  We have progressed in the narrative to the church fete, where our protagonist Niall helps with organisation and chair castors. And notices that the coconut shy's stands are the launch tubes taken from Panzerfaust anti-tank rockets.

The village fire engine

     All in all just a typical day in The 'Wood

Museum Of The Manchesters
Darling Daughter used to get taken here by her grandma when she was little*, and the one thing that she used to report back on was about a rat.
     "A rat?"
     "Yes, a rat!"
     For about 12 years Conrad has wondered about this Rattus Rattus, until earlier this week when he visited and came across a small replica of a trench, with added sound effects.  Viz:

You are looking directly at Ratty

     Rats thrived in the trench environment, as there were frequently lots of dead bodies to dine on (human and horse), and if those were absent, lots of human food to gnaw away at.  Battalions in the line would often have a rat-scouring event, stabbing, bludgeoning, shooting or - in one case I have read of - using a cricket bat to knock them bandy.  They were a serious health issue and each British Army**had it's own specialist Rat Officer, whose responsibility it was to deal with rats.  Getting a cat or dog was not really practical given the wretched conditions in the front lines and the sensible reaction of Tibbles or Fido to get the hell out of the firing line.
     This is one of the reasons that a gas attack was a mixed blessing - yes you were at risk of injury or death BUT it would kill off all the vermin infesting your area.

Confusing English: Being Discreet About Discrete
They both sound the same, and they have the same letters, although they mean completely different things.  "Discreet" meaning to be subtle, careful and covert; "Discrete" meaning to be individual or separate from a whole.  The problem is that they come from the same Latin root, "Discretus", meaning separate.
     That's not the only problem.  If you show that you can be discreet, then you don't have "Discreetion", you have "Discretion".  Why drop the "e"?
     Because English is confusing!

Dis Krete.  Close enough.

Rejected Doctor Who Serial Titles
I hope I'm not repeating myself here, but nobody has come back to criticise^ or even congratulate, so I'm afraid Conrad is going to continue.

"The Chafe"

"The Spade Museum"

"The Meth Makers"^^

"The Daleks Baster Pan"

"The Massacre of StEve"

"The Yark"

"The Un-Fighters"

Well, as said before, they make me laugh.




* Darling Daughter, not grandma.  Do keep up!
** There were five in France, from First to Fifth, encountering along the way Second, Third and Ninety-Ninth***
*** Only joking: Fourth.
^  Not that criticism would stop me.
^^ "Meth" = "Methylated Spirits"