THE KILLER PIKE OF DICK VAN DYKE!

It's True!
When I say "It's True!" what I mean is that I've got absolutely no evidence that he bred killer pike or had a moat around his house full of killer pike, nor that he ate them on a regular basis, or ever went swimming with them*.
     But I do have this:

KILLER WHALE!  Okay, okay, - killer dolphin? Rather-annoyed dolphin?

     Surely this is compelling evidence?

"Scrannel"
Again Conrad has to apologise for the mental flotsam that bobs to the surface of his mind.  This I remember as a line from "Earthman, Come Home" by James Blish**, about " - the scrannel screech of the siren."
     The definition is apparently "harsh or unmelodic", so rather like G G Allin And The Murder Junkies***.  By definition a siren would be harsh, unmelodic and generally along the lines of EMERGENCY.  So, by definition, Mr Blish hit it squarely on the head.

WoE?
The acronym for "What on Earth?" as we here at BOOJUM! do not swear^.  I did a Google search for Mr Van Dyke and this peculiarity showed up:
http://www.philipkdickfans.com/literary-criticism/frank-views-archive/the-philip-k-dick-van-dyke-show/
     I shall paraphrase the description - it involves the successful comedy writer Philip K. Dick Van Dyke wondering why reality seems to be unravelling around him and goes on to involve every recurring theme in PKD's works.

Back to the motley -

The Metro
BOOJUM!'s ceaseless war of truth on the Rag of Gag continues and has scored a minor but significant success.  Please observe the cover:

Down from four - now they begin to acknowledge the truth!

     Of course half those three pages are taken up by adverts, so we shall continue to skewer this media remora with the scalpel of truth.
     Can you skewer with a scalpel?  Okay, the lawn-dart of truth.

Edna, Disappointed
One of our Four-legged Alarm System's foibles is leaping onto one's lap, then onto the table, in order to see if there's any food to be had.

"Bummer!  Only tea - without milk or sugar, either"

     Of course there isn't, Conrad is far too cruel to allow that!

"Prey"
Now, Art Department, please remember that BOOJUM!'s charter forbids discussing anything to do with religion.
     No, nothing to do with bending the knee, this is Michael Chrichton's 2002 novel about nanotechnology gone horribly wrong:

Hey, Michael, I do the puns around here ....

     Although Conrad ponders what would happen if you wrote a novel about nanotechnology going right?  Well, that novel would be "The Diamond Age", wouldn't it, which is a long sustained look at the world a few generations hence as transformed by microbots.
     Anyway, "Prey".  Grumpy old Michael wrote it 13 years ago, and set it in 2009, 6 years ago, and nobody has come up with microbots yet.  Personally I think Michael is being a big old poopypants about nanotechnology.  I mean, what could possibly go wrong?

Edna, Still Disappointed
Aha, Edna!  Conrad moved the cat's food bowl off the kitchen table and put it on the sink worktop.  This - allow me to illustrate:

"So near - so near"

     It's too far for her to jump and too high for her to leap, so it can remain enticingly out of reach.

Conrad:  Acceptable As Bed
Well, if she can't eat it or reach it, she can at least acknowledge that humans make conveniently warm, soft bedding:

The Museum Of The Manchesters
No!  This does not imply that multiple Manchesters exist - although Philip K Dick would definitely argue about that - merely that it is the museum of the Manchester Regiment.  

Set in the town hall

     Conrad has been to the market here many a time, always on a Sunday, which is when the museum is closed.  So he went today and spent half an afternoon taking photographs.
     The Mancs are a hard bunch when push comes to shove, and I have the photographs to prove it. As there are 40 of them I'll post separately and probably in more than one post.

The Upstair Lair: Also Acceptable As Bed
I should be flattered that Edna is happy to be with me.  It is unusual as normally it's only her and Wonder Wifey, so perhaps your humble scribe has novelty value.

     That, or I am awesome.




* A bit risky, given the "killer" part of "killer pike"
** He killed Spock, you know.
*** Hello Sophie!
^ If we say "bloody" it's because there's blood.