That Stick In The Mind
For Lo! we are back on the subject of "Le Mort D'Arthur" once again, by which time I have reached page 325, so only another 575 to go!
Sir Thomas Malory, the author, likes to throw in a bit of gore every now and then - you have to keep your audience happy - and so he describes how Sir Tristram, in mortal combat with a foe also armed and on horseback, manages to ram his spear (it may technically be a lance but Ol' Tom calls 'em spears, so spears they are) right through his opponent's armour, through said opponent, then out of his armour, to the length of an ell. Which is a yard and a half. Art!
Jousting spears aren't built to take this kind of abuse and it broke, though so did the opponent.
Enough to make one's eyes water
In the Late Medieval/Early Renaissance version of an info-dump, Sir Mordred explains to the bitchy Lady Maldisant that Sir Tristram is inexperienced in horsed combat, after he is knocked from his horse by Sir Palomides, whom then refuses to carry on the fight on foot. Sir M relates that, as a young knight of very large stature, Sir T would definitely whale the tar out of Sir P if they went at each other on foot with swords, which Sir P is well aware of.
A touch of gamesmanship, one feels, and bordering on un-knightly conduct. Sir T does get better with horsemanship as he gallops about on adventures, eventually becoming second only to Sir Launcelot in prowess. He also has a major pash for Le Beale Isoud, which is reciprocated and unfortunate, because she's the wife of King Mark. O, and Sir P is also smitten with her.
Sir P - surprise surprise, he's a Saracen!
Conrad confidently predicts it'll all end in tears. Well, the title is about the death of King Arthur, so I'm not going to be far off with a guess like that.
Motley! Bring forth the basket-handled sword, because there's a ham joint that needs chopping.
"Ushanka Show"
This is an excellent and informative Youtube channel created by Sergei Sputnikoff, who grew up in Ukraine during the Sinister years, and he explains what life was like back then. He is pretty fluent in English, of the South Canadian variety, because he moved to South Canada in 1999. Still has the brilliant accent, however. Art!
One of his more recent videos was on the subject of prostitution in the Sinister Union, which - get this - Did Not Exist By Official Decree. These Ladies Of Dubious Virtue could not be arrested or charged or prosecuted, because there was no such crime as prostitution. In fact the only way Militsiya (Sinister-era police) could touch them METAPHORICALLY YOU DIRTY CURS was for currency crimes, if they got paid in dollars or yen or marks.
This was until 1986, when Moskovskiy Komsomolets published a story in two parts about the "Night Hunters" or "Night Butterflies". This broaching of an absolutely taboo theme made the Politburo sit up and pay attention, and Laws Were Enacted. It also boosted MK's circulation to unheard of levels, so they had an interested audience, Vulnavia. Not that the laws helped much, with a R100 fine, when these Moths (?) could earn five times that per night.
As Conrad commented, seedy yet fascinating. Next up - Vodka!
The Game Is Afoot
Earlier this week I took part in a wargame planned and executed by my mate Richard. It imagined an encounter between the Teuton's 7th Panzer Division and Colonel De Gaulle's 4th Armoured Division, which didn't happen in real life. The idea was that the four players had a map, and their own Order of Battle, and needed to communicate with their individual battalions via written orders. The individual battalions were supposed to report back to their commanding officers.
http://thelandofcounterpane.blogspot.com/
A link to Richard's blog.
"Supposed" because the orders were not guaranteed to be sent, nor acted upon if received, and reports about progress might not come back at all. It all mirrored real life. Richard took pictures of the game as he and Jamie moved units around the battlefield. Art!
The map we worked from
That above is the scrap going on at Sery, where French units set themselves up and fired on any Teutons in range. In fact so many units turned up there that a traffic jam ensued, hampering their ability to attack or defend. Meanwhile, my 25th Panzer Regiment was trundling down the northern flank. Art!
My tanks were about to encounter a batch of out-numbered and out-gunned French tanks - which I knew nothing about, since reports weren't coming back to me - at which point, having been playing for about 7 hours, we finished. The French were putting up a stiff fight in Sery, BUT the 25th Panzer Regiment was about to steamroller the French northern armour and head for the table edge, as per orders.
It should be noted that the French had miserable luck with artillery and air power dice rolls, as they got neither, whilst the Luftwaffe did a fair job of malleting their enemy.
Thanks were proffered to Richard for the planning and manoeuvring, and whilst it's not as much fun if you can't see people face-to-face, neither did Your Humble Scribe have to drive for three hours.
The bustling metropolis of Storrs, where Richard lives
Finally -
I shan't go back to that fairy-story about the so-called 'Vanishing Regiment' at Gallipoli, because that would constitute cruel and unusual punishment, given the wargaming item above. Perhaps my 5,000 word monograph about "Forbidden Planet" would - no? Definitely no? O well.
I think now would be a good time to "Salute The Jugger", which is an alternate title for the Number 6 on my list of 10 low-budget sci-fi gems, also known as "The Blood Of Heroes". It can be as bloody as it likes, because Conrad hasn't seen it and manifests no great desire to remedy this state of affairs. It features Rutger Hauer, whom had a career in sci-fi B movies after his Roy Batty turn in "Blade Runner", and is about a wandering band of fighters who tour the post-apocalyptic wastelands, for which read they didn't want to spend lots of money on futuristic sets and backdrops. Art!
I may read the synopsis on IMDB, or I may go and grill some rainbow trout instead, because I'm hungry and that would be a better use of my time.
South Central LA never recovered from the apocalypse
Speaking of which, I am working tomorrow, so it may be a Saturday but you're only getting one post. You may now gnash your teeth and rend your garments.
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