As They May Have Said In The Olden Days
The really olden days, back in the fifteenth century, for Lo! we are back on the subject of "Le Mort D'Arthur" again, and Conrad is now up to page 275, so only 525 left to go!
No! I am not referring to the ancient and rather dubious practice of 'trepanning', where a hole is cut into some unfortunate's skull, to either relieve pressure from a hematoma, or to let the evil spirits out. Art!
If the skull has rounded edges around the rim of the incised skull, then the patient survived, because that indicates healing. You'd have to wear a hat all the time, mind, to stop hair or rain or passing insects from intruding into your brains.
O typical BOOJUM! going on about a completely different subject matter to real Intro. It's how we oscillate.
Now, we are in Book Seven of LMDA, and in this one we hear at length about Sir Tristram, the son of King Meliodas, who is a mighty knight indeed (despite coming from Cornwall). Art!
You wouldn't expect a fifteenth century work of literature to go into forensic analysis of murder weapons, would you?
Sir T getting knighted
WRONG! Because Sir T was knighted in order to take on in mortal combat Sir Marhaus, champion of King Anguish of Ireland, and a Knight of the Round Table. Nobody else is at all keen to take him on, hence Sir T. They have a long scuffle, at the end of which Sir T hits Marhaus so hard that his helmet splits, the sword cracks his skull and part of the blade breaks off in his 'brain pan', as Ol' Tommo puts it. Understandably, Sir M flees the field of battle, mortally wounded, getting back to Ireland and promptly dying there. Your Humble Scribe is surprised he got that far; having a mighty metal meat-mauler mallet your skull usually results in - well, immediate death.
Later on in Book Seven, Sir T has to go to Ireland, as the lance Sir M had used to injure him was POISONED!! (I know, I know, two exclamation marks yet such a dastardly act deserves them) and he can only be healed at King Anguish's court. Sir M's sister, who had picked that bit of metal out of her brother's brains, later discovers Sir T's sword whilst he's having a bath and - O what's this? A piece of the blade is missing - which just happens to be an exact fit for the piece she (rather morbidly, one feels) kept, having extracted it.
Predictably, she is not happy. In fact she takes the sword and tries to kill Sir T in the bath, which would have been a strange and early ending for Book Seven, had his squire not stepped in to disarm her. Sir T had cunningly disguised himself on arriving in Ireland, since killing the King's champion might not go down very well with the locals, by calling himself "Sir Tramtrist". It worked, so the locals can't have been that sharp.
Unlike his sword! Conrad is also rather unsure about a king called "Anguish", which he feels is probably a Francophone version of a Gaelic name, or he had very cruel parents.(They have gotten smarter)
The Fourth Called Forth
Conrad discovered a website run by Professor Dave Clarke, whom has had a career in journalism, which investigates some supposed 'paranormal' events, like the one put about in 1965 by three New Sealand sappers who had served at Gallipoli in the First Unpleasantness.
Therein the link to his pages, should you wish to peruse further.
The sappers claimed to have seen the 'regiment' the First/Fourth Norfolks walk into a giant brown cloud at ground level, which then arose and blew away, and the Norfolks were never seen again. Brad Steiger, author and also apparently unprincipled and unscrupulous, claimed that 22 other eye-witnesses came forward and that the Official History repeats claims about the Norfolks marching into an eerie fog and vanishing.
Mr. BS* clearly made this up, as Conrad got out his Military Operations: Gallipoli Volume 2, because FACTS and THE TRUTH. To quote: "On the right a portion of the 1/5 Norfolk continued to press forward; but this party, consisting of 15 officers and 250 men, was not supported, and was never seen again."
CAUTION! Do not challenge about Official History facts
Conrad doesn't know if any of the 22 other supposed witnesses are named, and rather doubts it. What Mr. BS leaves out is that the 1/5 (NOT 1/4!) was part of 163 Brigade, of whom over 800 were left at the end of the day. None of their officers or men reported any strange brown clouds.
We may come back to this, for there is more to tell.
Low-Budget Sci-Fi Flicks: "Saturn 3"
Back to that list I made from a Youtube channel. Conrad thinks he's seen this one, and is certain that he's seen various scenes, or how else would be know that Harvey Keitel is in it? And the big robot gets knocked over by a door that opens horizontally. Plus Kirk Douglas' character gets a great big socket inserted into the back of his neck, and doesn't he sacrifice himself for the sake of Farrah Fawcett? Art!
Perhaps I was reading a book, and the book was more interesting than the film? Or - I was baking, and had to keep going to check on how it was rising? I dunno. Nor does Your Humble Scribe feel that he's missed all that much and that there's a "Saturn 3"-shaped hole in his life.
Low-budget because that's the cast right there, so they don't have a big salary bill.
Finally -
Yes, it is the last day of 2020. No, we shall not be going over the past year, because that's what everyone else will be doing, and one feels a little more creativity is needed to herald the end of one year and the start of another. In that spirit, have a picture of Krak De Chevaliers. Art!
And, yes, Art, you can add in a picture of Mara Corday.
Sultry!
* O what appropriate initials
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