You know, the one about Gallipoli, which is actually in two parts. Don't get me started on the Maps And Appendices, there's only four maps and I last saw them for £275, which is a tad more than I'm willing to pay.
ANYAWAY today's title was a phrase that originated at the time, and it well describes the 'planning' for military operations at the Dardanelles. Mudros and Lemnos were two Greek islands the Entente used for forward staging during the campaign, for your information.
Firstly, the politics of the Balkans came into play. Bulgaria was thirsting for revenge against her neighbours, who had ganged up on her in the First Balkan War, which meant she was leaning towards the Teutons. So too was Turkey, which meant Greece would automatically support the Entente - no love lost between Greece and Turkey, don't you know. Romania was looking to see who was likely to win before joining sides, and Serbia was already fighting the Teutons and Hapsburgs. Having a British attack or invasion of Turkey would stir this stew in an interesting and unpredictable way.
The map above gives you an idea of the problems involved in attempting to attack Constantinople and lift the Turkish blockade of Ruffian exports. The Dardanelles is a long, narrow stretch of water that was covered by shore fortifications and lots of mines. The Royal Navy boldly demonstrated that they were interested in this area by carrying out bombardments in January.
"Thanks for the advance notice!" said the Turks, immediately beginning to dig trenches and lay barbed wire. This is three months before the actual landings. Way to go, Royal Navy. Conrad firmly believes this is them wanting to give the underdog a sporting chance, what what what?
That covers the politics and geography enough, don't want to swamp you with too much information. I should point out I'm at page 109 and not a single British boot has set foot on land yet.
The motley returned safely from it's trip to re-orient the aerials, thanks for asking. Now, if only those wretched interlopers from MI5 can avoid knocking them out of alignment again ...
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| After and before |
Proof This Sceptred Isle Is Still Quite Sceptred
It has only just struck me that the only time one can obtain the humble pumpkin in Perfidious Albion is in October, in the run-up to Halloween. There are a few recipes one can use pumpkin for, such as Spiced Halloween Pumpkin Cake, or Pumpkin Pie; the latter needs a lot of spices added in, since pumpkin is very bland. Otherwise one presumes they get hollowed out and carved into hilarious shapes.
Which all go into the bin on the First Of November, they immediately vanish from shops and we'll not see them again until next October. Proving our cultural independence from South Canada.
What used to be an occasional and exotic vegetable, the Butternut Squash, which is now a fixture in supermarkets, makes a perfectly acceptable substitute for pumpkin, if you feel the desperate urge for that cake.
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| Also, fewer seeds to scoop |
Maskarpone*
You will remember me banging on yesterday about Ian from "Forgotten Weapons" and his undertaking a timed-trial shoot with authentic French firearms whilst wearing an M2 gas mask. The mask and accuracy proved problematic. Art!
The example above comes from a website called "Gas Mask And Respirator Fandom", which is almost as unlikely as "Uncle Brian's Victorian Brass Faucet" blog.
ANYWAY I wanted to point out that the M2 was not the only form of gas protection on battlefields of the First Unpleasantness: the British invented what they catchily-titled a "Small Box Respirator". Art?
Unlike the M2, this one had a can that filtered any air breathed in, attached to the mask by a length of rubber hose. If the fiendish Hun introduced some newly noxious way of poisoning the very air, then the filter could simply have new layers added to combat same, and this could be done indefinitely, thanks to that long rubber hose. As Gordon Corrigan points out in "Mud, Blood And Poppycock", which Your Humble Scribe has a copy of (of course!), this wasn't an option for the Teutons, who were so perilously short of rubber that they had to resort to steel tyres on their trucks. Their gas mask filter dangled at the end of the mask, meaning it could only carry up to a certain weight. Art!
In case you were wondering, and even if you weren't, those two studs on the side of the Stahlhelm above were for hanging a metal shield from, in order to cover the wearer's face. Cumbersome and awkward, they were rarely used, which is why Teuton stahlhelm of the Second Unpleasantness don't have them.
Hmmmmmm, that went on for longer than intended. The perils of the author being the editor as well. Let us press onward!
SPOILERS Tom, SPOILERS!
The very concept of that above seems to have entirely eluded some Late Medieval/Early Renaissance writers - YES YOU SIR THOMAS MALORY. Your Humble Scribe was eagerly perusing events at around page 430, and Sir Tom casually drops into the text that Two Major Characters who were very much alive at that point, were killed later in that book.
Thanks. That's like being told at the very beginning of "Avengers: Infinity War" 'O hi everyone, don't get too attached to Tony Stark, he dies at the end.'
Conrad is exceedingly cross. Yes, even crosser than normal.
Finally -
I am going to wrap this up quickly as Conrad intends to trot off to Royton and the Co-Op to see what's going cheap, and if they've not put the unsold papers away yet - it varies as to whom is doing this chore as to when it happens. So - Art!
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| The dreaded brass bra strikes again! |
And with that, gentle reader, we are done!
* Sorry, couldn't resist
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