Foxy!

Do Not Get Your Perverted, Lust-Stoked Hopes Up

There will be no posts of attractive young people not wearing a lot, except in the case of science-fiction magazine covers from long ago, because that's <crosses fingers> art.  And you can't blame me for the Brass Bra being a thing, I didn't paint or ink those covers.

     ANYWAY Conrad has noticed several videos on Youtube of a lady posting under the title of "SaveAFox", which usually feature her pet fox, Finnegan*.  Art!

     More smiles than a shark yet with considerably more bark.  Finnegan is an affectionate and playful chap, which caused Your Humble Scribe to wonder about foxes as pets.  I can only remember a single instance of this being an issue in literature, in Brian Aldiss's "Greybeard" where a minor character has a fox as a pet. Art!

Absolutely nothing to do with the novel, yet a great cover

     It turns out that foxes, unless specially bred to be pets, are not really suitable unless you can afford huge vet's fees, have a couple of acres of land they can  roam within, and can laugh off those times when they scent-mark the lounge or dig a hole in the kitchen floor.  They are classed as "insatiably inquisitive", which means you may come home to find they've cracked your Facebook password and are posting salacious pictures of dogs on the internet.  After having urinated on your bed and played ten-pin bowling with a box of eggs that were - past tense - on top of the kitchen cupboards.

Yes, you scamp, we're looking at you!

     Algernon De Lacey, whom you will OF COURSE remember as Biggles' wartime compatriot at 266 Squadron in the First Unpleasantness, reckoned that the fox was as skilled and able an animal as any on the African savannah, since it had been hunted for centuries.

"Donner Und Blitzen!" expostulated the bally Hun.

     We have, rather obviously, deviated markedly from the original topic.  Get used to it**.

     Motley!  We've got a golf umbrella and you can jump off the second storey using it as a parachute.  Look, look - we've got a paddling pool of water to break your fall as well.

     

Duck Duck Goose

Conrad is aware this assemblage of verbiage has some peculiar relevance in South Canada, but cannot muster up the energy or motivation to bother about it.  Because we are not looking westwards to the Smoky Mountains, but eastwards toward the Urals.  For Lo! we have been watching "Ushanka Show", the Youtube channel of ex-Soviet comrade Sergei Sputnikoff, where he dealt with the propaganda war waged over the airwaves between the Sinisters and the South Canadians (the BBC also a guilty party thanks to it's World Service).  Art!

Radio Free Europe

     The Sinisters were instantly on the back foot, because the West had The Beatles, as well as Pink Floyd and Val Doonican Deep Purple.  What did the Sinisters have?  Take your time, you have forty years to answer.  So they resorted to jamming these Evilllll Capitalist Radio Stations, which with hilarious irony cost them more than it cost the West to broadcast, as Sinister politicians were unable to grasp 2 + 2 > 1 + 1.  Sergei was kind enough to post some contemporary images, such as this one.  Art!

     That sign above the door reads "Golos Amerikiy",or "Voice of America", one of the Evillllll Capitalist Radio stations.  You see the duck?  The Russian for 'Duck' is "Utka", but it is also Ruffian slang for "fake news", so quite a witty cartoon.  Of course, "Utka" is also Hungarian for "Street", and the Grey Goose's name in Latin is "Anser Anser", so perhaps one ought to be wondering what the question is***.

Possibly the answer?

Horses For Courses

Yes yes yes, this concerns "Field Guns In France" again, it's relevant because Major Fraser-Tytler's battery of howitzers had ceased to be a part of 30th Division and were now an "Army" battery, meaning they could be sent to any part of the front which Fifth Army laid claim to.  Allowing other units to rotate out, bolstering a defence, or (more usually) ladling mountains of shells onto the Teutons in preparation for an attack, that sort of thing.  And Fifth Army were known by their symbol - Art?

     As the dedication goes, "To The Red Fox Army".

     In late May the battery came out of the front lines, ready to be moved north.  This mattered since the battery had <ahem> 'acquired' some extra horses, thanks to the custom of allowing all horses from an enormous number of batteries to graze freely together.  Naturally, those batteries who were short of steeds kept an eagle eye on the retiring batteries, Just In Case.  "D" Battery did quite well a la Major NFT - they only 'lost' one horse but 'acquired' another two and a donkey to boot.   Why is this considered important?  Because if your truck breaks down you can't eat it ...

Dinner on the hoof
(Hopefully Anna is not reading this!)

I Think - Of Zinc

Your Modest Artisan came across this word as part of his Codeword book, which he thinks is a little unfair and exotic, because how many of us will make use of this work in everyday conversation?  Of course I got it, as I am highly skilled with Codewords, even ones where they only give you one letter.  Art!

      - and this one is about the Sinister lads who were sent to Afghanistan, only to come home in zinc coffins, hence the title.  No draft-dodging for them; serve your time or do ten years in a gulag.

     We have, rather obviously, deviated markedly from the original topic.  Get used to it**

Finally -

CAUTION!  POLITICAL AND CURRENT AFFAIRS COMMENT FOLLOWS!  

(In our defence, this is the first time ever in seven years)

Comedians and satirists the world over will be weeping into their martinis tonight, since President Trump has had his last day in office.  This means from tomorrow onwards they are going to need to work at generating content and material, rather than letting it come to them.  You remember that bit in "The Shield" where one character had to had skin taken from his buttocks to patch up his facial scars? That's where we were: "The jokes write themselves".  This is why a lot of UK comedians and satirists were dismayed when a Labour government came to power, because you can't nail tripe to a wall, nor strike a match on it.  Margaret Thatcher, for example, was such easy game that she wasn't even low-hanging fruit, she was already lying on the ground.  Conrad thinks it unsporting to take such advantage.  In case of moral quandary, ask yourself: what would Biggles think?

     And don't forget - Ambrose Bierce for President!

Ambrose and friend

*  Do NOT ask why cute animal videos crop up on Conrad's Youtube.  Seriously.  Just don't.

**  It's how we rock 'n' roll.

***  Confused?  Don't worry, so are we.