Bat Four Lashes

No! I Am Not Referring To The Band

I think I have one of their CDs somewhere, which Your Humble Scribe might have to listen to again as it's years since I bought it.  Conrad has found that, occasionally, when he goes back to a CD initially thought of as 'Meh', years later a rehearing shows that - I love it!  The Mars Volta and "Francis The Mute" is a case in point.

CAUTION!  Not to be recommended as a dress or driving choice

     There we go, once again we have gone on at length about what the blog's not about, which is one of the charming facets of BOOJUM!

     For I am speaking about a program on the South Canadian network "The CW", which calls itself "Batwoman".  The Critical Drinker (who may or may not be almost blackout drunk whilst doing his reviews) has lambasted it, and Your Humble Scribe has been following a couple of other reviewers who loathe it beyond measure.  Since it appears to be a combination of a dumpster fire and car crash, Conrad is grateful they're watching it so I don't have to.  For my native readers, a "Dumpster Fire" is South Canadian argot for "Skip Fire", where in this case the skip is full of
     ANYWAY the critics (drinking or sober) hate it because they consider it to be excessively 'woke' and simply a Social Justice Warrior wannabe.

     The character was played initially by one Ruby Rose, and her personality, character, motivation, backstory, and everything about her could all be summed up in the word "Lesbian".  This is how lazy the writers are.  As Ol' Crit pointed out, too, this woman with the build of a 14 year-old boy is easily able to throw around men who top her by a couple of feet and a hundred pounds.  Nor do they explain how the Batsuit mysteriously shrinks to fit her after she finds it - there's a million points like this, and I don't want to get bogged down in minutiae, or we'll still be here tomorrow.

     I mentioned four lashes, didn't I?  Well, "Batwoman" gets one for plots, one for characters, one for dialogue and one for budget.  This is a show made on the cheap. It was not well received when it debuted in 2019, having a season premiere of 1.8 million viewers, and numbers dwindled across 2020.  Dwindled, during a lockdown where people have frequent recourse to television.  1.8 million ain't that great, mate.

Significant smile deficit

     Then, 22 episodes into a 24 episode season, Rose quit.  Or was she fired?  Nobody is entirely sure and there will have been Non-Disclosure Agreements being filed, so we may never find out what really happened.  This kind of thing only picques interest and people will still be chasing the truth a decade hence.  The final episode has a viewing total of 750,000, which is pretty poor.
     What does CW do?  Why, they recast a black woman in the title role, have her magically become Batwoman when the Batsuit falls out of the sky at her feet (I'm not making this up), and seem to have given the scriptwriters 11 minutes and a bag of cocaine to come up with a plot.  Art?

Looking a bit sulky there

     The Season 2 premiere was earlier this week, and let me remind you that viewing figures for premieres are usually the highest of a season, since people hear about all the publicity and get interested enough to go take a look.

     Or not.

     The viewing figures totalled only 650,000, so it's already less popular than the end of Season One.  Conrad has to wonder what the CW was thinking, because the first season was unpopular and they don't have the budget to attract any big names who might pull in traffic.  Why are they throwing money onto a bonfire?  Networks exist to make a profit, which cannot be happening here.  There has to be an undeclared reason*.  Suggestions in the Comments, thanks.

How to scare cats the Kate Kane way!

Dipping A Long, Deformed Talon Into The Pool Of Politics

We took a chance last night by outright posting about the P-word, which to be honest is not common here, it was just an exceptional night as we waved goodbye to almost-ex President Trump.  Conrad will miss him, though Mark Kermode won't - his citric description was that of a "Cheeto-faced s***-gibbon".  Calm down, Mark, think of your blood pressure!  Quick, Art, a picture!

     Conrad can feel Mark's gimlet eyes boring into him.  Yes, miss him, because Your Humble Scribe pretended that President Trump was the star of a reality television program called "I'm The President", where the South Canadians pretended he was the POTUS, and then filmed the ensuing chaos.  Meanwhile the real President, Bierce, ran the country.

     I would also like to point you to that bizarre item at lower port: Dinos On The Moon.  Not a CW sci-fi show, this is The Star trying to clickbait you into reading further by being wilfully vague.  The dinosaurs involved were the ones that got hit by the Chuxculub crater asteroid, which caused an explosion so immense that fragments of dead dinosaur may have indeed hit the Moon.

Cue panto chorus

     So no, you are not going to see velociraptors haring round the Mare Imbrium.  Just so we're clear.

More Foxy

Conrad, you remember, did a short article on keeping foxes as pets yesterday, and counselled against it.  Whilst incredibly appealing as kits, they smell when they age, and you need to trot them for miles and miles -

     Let us now abruptly jump track and recall that hilarious sit-com from the Seventies, "Citizen Smith".  Art!

"Wolfie" Smith

     Walter Henry Smith is an unemployed poser who claims to emulate Che Guevara in his Communism, trademark cry "Freedom For Tooting!", nickname "Wolfie" taken from revolutionary Irishman Wolf Tone.  However, his girlfriend's ingenuous and innocent mother can never remember correctly and always addresses him as "Foxy"**.

     A London suburb, if you must know.  

Finally -

We've had two days of torrential rain here in the Pond of Eden, thanks to Storm Christoph, and now - now it's snowing.  Heavily.  This is bad news for anyone having to travel by bus between Rochdale and Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell, because at this time of night there's little traffic to squish the snow into water; nor have I seen any gritters out, so their usual clairvoyance about snow and ice may have failed them.  If it gets really bad then nothing that's not 4-wheel drive with snow chains is going to get up or down Tandle Hill***.

     And with that we are done!

CAUTION!  Dangerous en masse

*  This idea persisted even when I took off my tinfoil hat, so it must be true.

**  I doubt the BBC ever managed to sell this to South Canada, and I doubt the Sinisters ever looked on it with fondness.

***  There is a certain entertainment to be gotten from sitting in the lounge, watching cars and trucks struggle to skid a few yards uphill ...