Sorry

For We Are Back On The Subject Of -

 AIRCRAFT CARRIERS! which I never promised to avoid in future, so you can't complain.  Besides, it's not as if you have to barter away a crate of artichokes to read this, is it?

     No, I've no idea what it is, except it's not an aircraft carrier, as I didn't want to scare you away first thing.

     Instead of going full steam ahead - do you see wh O you do - into Aircraft Carriers, let us instead change direction completely and have at a photograph that's been sitting on my phone unused for Lo! these many days.  Or weeks.  It's been a while since I took it, that's what I'm trying to get across.  Art!

     Don't worry, this is nothing to do with the coronavirus, which is one aspect of Current Affairs that the blog avoids like poison, regardless of how much traffic it would generate.  No, my point is the surname of the last journalist on that by-line: William Dahlgreen.  What did that surname conjure up in the mental morass that makes up my mind?

     No, Art, no.  Just no.  However, the Tazer is still being charged-up so no punishment yet.  Try again. TRY REALLY HARD.

Tazering deferred

    Exactly, except not quite, it lacks an extra "E".  So which came first, the Archeopteryx or the egg surname or the novel title?  Did one suggest the other?  It also has a cameo role for artichokes.

     Now, back to AIRCRAFT CARRIERS!  I knew you could hardly wait.

     Okay, as you may recall, Conrad is a member of the Society Of Twentieth Century Wargamers (don't mention my recent English Civil Unpleasantness games or I'll be indicted), so he posted on their last night about an issue that has been bothering him in a minor way for many years.  Art!

     What on earth (or water) are those long thin poles sticking out to the side of the vessel?  You see them on lots of Second Unpleasantness ACs and nobody has ever explained what they were.

     The group came good: it was explained that they are High Frequency Whip Aerials.  When you see them extended horizontally it's a safety measure to reduce the risk of an aircraft flying into them, when aircraft are being launched, recovered or are still in the air.  If the aircraft complement is all aboard, they are raised to the vertical position.  Until last night I'd not seen this, so - Art!

     The impressive BRITISH "Ark Royal" not in action, hence aerials in the upright position*.  You can't see thanks to the distance and low resolution, yet the aerials are linked by a cable, which can be seen on diagrams.  Art!

     There you go, your thirst for knowledge and aircraft carriers is now assuaged, which is another word I bet you never expected to see today.

     Motley, you need to get on the roof and re-align the aerials, those jackbooted trespassers from either MI5 or UNIT have knocked them out of alignment.

"O Wad Some Power The Giftie Gie Us -"

"Tae see oorselves as ithers see us." A line from Rabbie Burns, which is unusual as Conrad HATES POETRY ALMOST AS MUCH AS MUSICALS, which made English Literature A-Level a trial, I can tell you.  

     ANYWAY translated from Scottish dialect, it means that Robert is wishing that people could see themselves as they are seen by others, the perspective of an outsider being an interesting contrast to one's self-image.  How do the Ruffians see the English**?  Art!

     As posted by Sergei of "Ushanka Show", a Youtube channel you should be watching if you have the slightest interest in history and how the eeeeeeevil Sinisters lived back in the day.  Note the bowler hat. And yes, you do have to ask politely for people to rescue you in This Sceptred Isle.

A Tangent To A Tangent

Complaints will be met with resort to the Remote Nuclear Destructor Button.  You see, whilst perusing the website "The Horrors Of It All", I noticed a sidebar link to another website that proudly declared itself to be "Mondopiece Theatre" with a brief tagline denoting "Worst of the worst of exploitation cinema".

     How could Your Humble Scribe resist?  I couldn't, or there wouldn't be an article, would there?  Art!

     It turned out to be another Youtube channel, with creator Brian Barnes visible at lower port.  The title says it all, but just in case you fail to get the point, these are ridiculously staged Thanksgiving scenes with young ladies generally showing a lot of leg, in close conjunction with an unsuspecting turkey.  One presumes any thanks being given here are not coming from the bird turkey.

Foggy Lensman

No!  Nothing to do with E.E. "Doc" Smith's epic space-opera series of novels.  Did you know his qualification was in food nutrition and he was involved in developing doughnuts?  Strange but true.

I don't know what's going on here, but it looks exciting!

     Where was I? O yes.  For Lo! we are back with "Forgotten Weapons" and the colloquially-named 'Gun Jesus', whose parents christened him Ian McCollom.  Today Ian decided to replicate one aspect of the First Unpleasantness that you don't see very often: using small arms whilst wearing a gas mask.  Art!

     That's Ian in his M2 gas mask, looking rather grotesque, wearing his French Adrian helmet for additional authenticity, and with his bountiful flowing locks restrained in a ponytail.

     Ian found that his mask lenses immediately fogged up in the cold weather, meaning he could barely see the targets or the sights on his (French) Lebel revolver.  It took him 21 shots to hit all six target plates, whereas without the helmet he is proficient enough to hit them with one bullet each.  You can also see the red earplugs he is using to avoid going deaf.

     The rifle was even trickier, as the targets were 200 yard away and he couldn't see them at all.  Not only that, the mask's attachment was starting to pull his earplugs out, so he simply gave up on this one.  You can take a gas mask off; you can't get your hearing back.
     In the comments list there were various suggestions to avoid lens-fogging in future, which varied from spitting on lenses to having a sachet of silicon inside the mask to absorb moisture.  An interesting illumination into the practicalities of trying to wage war whilst wearing protective headgear.

     Ian McCollom: suffering for our entertainment!

Finally -

We've not mentioned either "Le Mort D'Arthur" or the Official History on Gallipolli in today's blog - so expect a whole lot of mention in tonight's.  You have been warned!

*  Thinking hard to avoid using "erect" in any way

**  Not the Scots, they'd never understand the accent