Bitten By The Coincidence Hydra - AGAIN

Conrad's Nethers Must Be Looking Especially Tasty Today

Forsooth.  Just thought I'd throw in some cod-medieval speak to ease you into things, since we are immediately going to jump into the far future*.

     Remember Your Humble Scribe going on about a list of 10 B-movie forgotten gems?  We are now up to number 6 on the list, namely "Slipstream".  Art!

     No, this isn't the far future I mentioned, just a little bit into the future.  Conrad has seen this film, and remembers a few bits of it, too.  Memory impressive for an aging recluse, hmmmm?   The idea is that the apocalypse has arrived in the form of a globally-present slipstream, which has erased most of civilisation - hey don't mock the idea, J. G. Ballard used this as the central conceit in one of his early novels - and we focus on a pair of bounty-hunters, a petty crook and 'Byron".

     That above is Tasker, one of the bounty hunters, whom you may or may not, and probably not, recognise as being played by Mark Hamill, whose big break was the original "Star Wars" trilogy.  With me so far?

     Okay, now the far future.  Conrad has been hearing interesting things about a Star Wars spin-off series called "They Came From Hemel Hempstead" called "The Mandalorian", which has been described as a 'space western', directed by that clever chap Jon Favreau.  We have covered it briefly when Doctor Ross analysed a fight scene to determine how dangerous The Mandalorian was in terms of close combat (Rating: Do Not Mess With If You Enjoy Living).  So, I watched the first episode last night, and am re-watching it again today, because it is littered with visual references to Star Wars that you only notice on a second viewing.

Mando

     Mando is - a bounty hunter.  Gee, are those the Coincidence Hydra's teeth I can feel in my ass?  From conversations along the way, one gathers that the Empire has gone toes-up.  Here's a nice incidental touch displaying just that.  Art!

     Grubby-looking troopers, hmmmm?  One supposes that it's not quite so easy getting bright, shiny kit any more when you can't simply pop down to the Imperial Quartermaster and indent for a brand new suit of armour.  This generally accords with the worn, used appearance most of the sets and vehicles have, in common with the original waaaaay back in 1977, and which Barry Norman (a noted BBC film critic) remarked upon.
     And thus we have today's title.

People With Guns

People in South Canada complain about having to pay extra taxes or file lots of paperwork if they want a weapon that comes in larger than 0.50 inch calibre, because above that it's classed as a "Destructive Device", according to Gun Jesus a.k.a. Ian McCollom of "Forgotten Weapons".  This is why ownership of a .55 Boys Anti-Tank Rifle is not common, because the ammunition is rare and expensive to boot.  Art!

    Australian troops of the Second Unpleasantness had a rude name for it, because of the concussive effect of firing one.

     Okay, from Ian, who is a Responsible gun owner, to a frankly irresponsible one.  Edwin Sarkissian, we're looking at you.  Ed and his friend had brought along a 20 mm cannon to a patch of desert, as you do.  They had also brought along a very sick-sounding SUV, which they proceeded to shoot.  

20 mm cannon round with a 0.50 for comparison

     To "make things more interesting" Ed put a couple of propane gas tanks in the rear of the SUV, turned the gas on and set fire to it.  How is this man still alive?  When the cannon shells didn't have the desired destructive effect, he emptied his AK47 at the hapless vehicle.  Art?

     Yup, instant fireball.  One can imagine him going back to the mate who loaned him the SUV and saying "There was a bit of a mishap ..."

Still Jumping Around In Time

For Lo! we are back on "Le Mort D'Arthur" and another astute observation by Your Humble Scribe, concerning time.  You remember, or ought to IF YOU HAVE BEEN DILIGENTLY READING THE BLOG, that whenever Sir Tom decided that an event had taken place for a considerable period of time, it was always "seven years".  Poetic licence, methinks.  Then there are the personal combats that take place; if it's a particularly stiff fight where the two opponents are well-matched and hammer away for ages, then it always takes "two hours".

     There were medieval clocks, true, but they were whacking big things that you found principally in monasteries so they could pray on time.  You can't picture two knights, before having a knock-down drag-out fight, going to the nearest monastery and requesting a timecheck and a timekeeper, please, can you?  Plus no watches.  So, once again, Sir Tom seems to be resorting to poetic licence**.

Finally -

Conrad, as you should already know, has a guilty habit of watching Youtube channels when he ought to be doing something much more productive and socially useful.  One thing he has discovered is that South Canadian talk-show host Steven Colbert is a big "Lord Of The Rings" fan, although it's not clear if he also read Tolkein's books.  We'll imagine yes.  ANYWAY, whom does he have on the show but actor Andy Serkis, who did the acting for Smeagol/Gollum in the films.  So, what else to do but have Andy, classy British thespian and all, read Tweets from someone called Donald Trump, in Gollum's voice.  Art!

     Conrad rather doubts he can come up with something as daft and thus we are done.  Done done done***!

* This is how we work around here, get used to it.

**  How dare he!

***  Yes a bit short of the Compositional Ton, so what?  It's not as if you have to pay to read this scrivel, or even comment on it.  And it's only 25 words short.