SHIELD

No, This Is Not A Hit Piece On "That Marvel Series"

Conrad did watch several seasons of "Agents Of S.H.I.E.L.D." way back when, and it just seemed to go on and on.  Conrad also not very convinced about how they were, as an organisation, completely compromised by HYDRA.  Nobody noticed?  And there was a bad guy whose superpower was - an artificial leg.  Wow.  Pushing the borders of plot composition there, hmmmm guys?

     It may still be going.  WKWC*?

     For no! or Lo! we are back to "Le Mort D'Arthur" and the concept of anonymity.

     "What about the S.H.I.E.L.D?" I hear your plaintive quibble.

     Well yes, but you didn't see any full stops denoting an acronym, did you?  For Your Humble Scribe has been - er - economical with the truth.  What did the average medieval knight carry around with him, along with sword and spear?  Of course - a shield.  Art!

     As you can plainly see, Knighty carries an heraldic device upon his shield, which acts as his calling-card (if we may mix metaphors and time).  Once clad in armour and with a helmet, there's no way to identify a knight other than by his shield.  Even Sir Palomides, a Saracen and thus most probably of Middle Eastern origin, cannot be identified when he's fully tinned-up, except by his shield.  So, if you as a knight want to swan about unidentified, you either cover up your shield or use one without a design.

Sir Launcelot

     Of course,  by this time you must be wondering why a knight would go anonymous into that good night?  Look above, and bow a knee to Sir Launcelot, whom is acknowledged as the best knight in the land, which is not exaggerating, for he is both mighty and skilled.  Now, if you as a knight errant came across him, you'd avoid getting into a joust "since I have toothache", for you would be forewarned BECAUSE OF HIS SHIELD.  There you go, today's title.  So, if Sir L wants to get in a bit of jousting, he's going to have to cover his shield, or every knight he comes across will have a bad case of toothache.  Sir Tristram, who loves loves loves to go about incognito, also uses a plain black shield, for the same reason, as he is pretty much on a par with Sir Launcelot.

Doesn't tell you much, does it?

     Using pictorial insignia for identity makes sense in an era when literacy was strictly limited, usually to members of religious orders, who were not known as clerics for nothing.

     Here endeth your history lesson, and critical commentary upon Marvel television, for today.

     Hmmmmm.  For some reason Blogger is allowing single-spacing again.  How odd!  Conrad hasn't changed any settings since yesterday.  I notice that "The Horror Of It All" blog stopped updating in September when the new iteration of Blogger came in, due to technical problems.

     Back to our regularly-scheduled scrivel ...

Walking Pork Chop Gets Eaten

One of our more recent innovations here at BOOJUM! has been looking at how spectacularly stupid Hom. Sap. can be, usually in pursuit of a Darwin Award.  Okay, take a grizzly bear, then imagine said bear in autumn, where they try to gorge themselves ready for hibernation across winter.  They are ready to eat anything edible.

     Then take prime idiot Tim**.  Tim thought he and the bears were friends.  He had gone annoying them in Alaska for twelve years, which merely proves that bears can be tolerant - but only up to a point.  Bear-watchers in Alaska quit the region in autumn, BECAUSE IT GETS TOO DANGEROUS.

     Not Tim!  He and his girlfriend got to the airport and then decided flying home was too expensive.  Did they then get a train, a taxi, hitchhike, hire a car?  Not Tim!  No, he and girlfriend both went back into bear country and to make sure the Park Rangers couldn't find and expel them, they went far into the hinterland.

Our furry friend.  
(Or not)

     Then Tim deliberately camped across a trail used by bears 'to get closer to nature'.  Did he have bear spray or put up an electric fence?  Not Tim!
     You can guess how this ends, thanks to the title: both Tim and girlfriend were et by bear.  Closer to nature than he probably intended.

Bottom Five Tanks

Let me qualify that: the bottom five tanks as present at Bovington Tank Museum, and as chosen by Director Richard Smith.  Richard is a face not previously known to the public as it's usually David Fletcher or Richard Willey who present.  Art?

     Richard (here with ever-present clipboard) comes from a background in shipping and logistics management, which is an interesting variant on the usual suspects and gives him an alternative viewpoint - which we will expound here***.  Let us tackle his first choice: the Matilda 1.  Art!

     "Obsolescence" his criteria.  This boxy little thing had only two crew and was armed solely with a machine-gun, and Richard reckoned it was a First World War design coming along 20 years too late, thus out of date before it even left the drawing-board.  In historical fact, they were only used once, in the Battle of France and they never appeared elsewhere after that; and there were only 58 of them in total on the Continent.  They were actually quite survivable in combat, thanks to having pretty thick armour, which didn't save them from being relegated to a training role back in Perfidious Albion.

     Sorry, mate, out of date.  Richard's criticism is that the design criteria of 1918 were being used rather than those of 1938.

Bovvie's baby

Finally -

Conrad is off work today, because the sanctity of his Sekrit Layr is being VIOLATED thanks to new windows.  The ones in place have been in place for twenty years, being double-glazing units that have been 'blown' for that long as well, full of condensation and grot.  The bullet has finally been bitten and today Napier's Windows arrived to remove and replace both windows.  I took some 'Before' photos so we can all revel in the change.  Art!

     Of course - obviously! - Edna disapproves almost as strongly about this intrusion as does Your Humble Scribe, and she has been barking sternly every ten minutes, to inform the world at large how very cross she is.

VERY CROSS!

     And with that, Vulnavia, we are done!

*  Conradism for "Who Knows Who Cares?"

**  Locals were convinced he was an idiot.

***   What, you think I'd mention this and then ignore it?