Tea Or Two

No!  That Isn't A Typo
You ought to know that by now.  Conrad is a hateful humourless harridan when it comes to spelling and grammar; if the title says "Or" then that's what it means, not "For".
     The title is explained thus:  at the weekend your modest artisan makes tea by the potful, and the pot in question has a 1 lit - 2 pint capacity.  I might even have a snap of the pot in question.  Art?  A quick trawl through the archives, please.

     Your humble hack starts the day off with a pot of English Breakfast, which means it has to be brewed before mid-day, as otherwise it wouldn't be breakfast, and then I couldn't drink it.  The question is, do I go for another pot (Loose Leaf Darjeeling by choice) in the afternoon?  As you may be aware in light of the old quotation, tea is "the cup that cheers and not inebriates", to which might be added "but it certainly makes bladders dilates" and there does seem to be a <ahem> tipping point after which I shall be trotting to the toilet all too often.
     So - One Tea Or Two? 
     I shall have a beer whilst I contemplate.

Further Of Festivals
Last night your humble scribe was oscillating mildly* with other folks celebrating Hannah's departure from my Coyly Un-named Em- oh okay, it was the Co-Op - in Sadler's Yard -
     - hang on, does it have an apostrophe or not?  In the interests of correct punctuation (and given my opening paragraph!) allow me to check - and it does, so we're not talking plurals here -
     Art?

Aaron, Katie and Hannah.  I'm not telling you which is Hannah.

     - and Anna, she of the Hidden Wicked, explicated a bit about having been to Glastonbury.  For those of you who are unfamiliar, this is a music festival in the middle of nowhere that charges a lot for admission; these factors keep out the rabble.  For Conrad's fancy it smacks far too of a medieval fayre, except with electricity - which is to say, mud, primitive toilet facilities and roasted-rat-on-a-stick**.  Art?

Like the battle of the Somme, minus artillery

     In my never-ending pursuit of trying to stay one step ahead of the Grim Reaper, whilst simultaneously chasing that ever-elusive Street Cred, I mentioned to Pete if he'd ever heard of the 'Erie Canal Soda Pop Festival'.

ECSPF - the aftermath

     "Is that the one in the Caribbean where people were promised luxury accomodation and free food and big name bands and it all went ****-up?" he replied.
     "No, you're thinking of the Fyre Festival," I countered.  
     What crops up on the Beeb website today but an article on one of the FF's founders being arrested for fraud?

$100,000 for this?  Bargain!

     It really does seem to have been an epic disaster; expect a film about it in a few years time when tempers have cooled a little, with Mark Wahlberg playing a hapless trust-fund Everyman, stuck in a portaloo for three days, and Andre Brougher a put-upon Bahamanian official.  There you go Hollywood, £77,000 for that treatment, please.

That's Mark, trapped!

     Festivals - best watched from the comfort of one's sitting room.

The Perils Of Pup
Conrad still insists he is not a dog person. The domesticated wolf, because that's all they are, requires a lot more input and quality time than a cat, and frequently display all the attitude of a sulky teenager not getting their own way.  Teenagers grow out of it; domesticated wolves do not.
     Anyway, here's a picture of the pitfalls of pooch.  Art?

"Need - help - cannot- cannot reach beer ..."

     The angle is a bit odd, yet you can hopefully tell that Conrad has a dog sprawled across his lap.  Not only can I not reach my beer, I cannot even reach my laptop to type out Words of Wonder.
     Oh well.

I'm a bit stuck now - I did have a slew of clerihew to do, but that will take me way over the word count for tonight and leave me short of material for tomorrow.  What's a scribe to do?

Aha!  Google is your friend -

Inter-Continental Ballistic Weasel!

     I egged the pudding there, rather.  They're only HARM missiles used by the South Canadian 'Wild Weasel" jet squadrons, which would detect and home in on radars - Homing Anti-Radiation Missile, and when they hit they would indeed inflict harm.

Remember - only Weasels can prevent radar!!!


*  The Smiths reference there
**  If this sparks an interest, I want royalties!