Good Ness, Bad Ness - In Fact Lots of Ness

This Will Become Clear
But only after a few posts.  In the meantime - hang on, just let me check if Ben Folds is still alive - phew! - yes he is, and apprently very excited about something to do with Grainy Thorns (sp?)- let me inform you that "Ness" in the English language refers to a geographical feature, namely a headland.  Wiki calls it a "promontory" but you can better realise what it is by translating that as "A bit sticking out".

"Wait - Ned Stark is dead?"

     Now that we've got the ground rules established, let us hope that this gets posted successfully, because that news about Doctor Who nearly broke the internet last night, and today there's a lot of unholy speculation about Gain of Throws (sp?) which has tied up 99% of all servers globally.
     Because Conrad likes to promote the Allotment and generally tries to appear more British than the British (useful social camouflage for an alien spy, after all), we will be detailing some British Promontories.
     Anyway, on with the squealing, squalling, brawling and bawling motley*!

Thorpe Ness
This charming little locale is best known because of what is called "The House In The Clouds".  I know some of you suspect the UK of being so wet that the clouds are permanently at ground level; not so.  Anyway, let's get that coal-eating sloven Art to earn his keep**.

That blue sky has been green-screened in

     I know what you're thinking***.  "Oh those wacky Brits!  No wonder they invented <insert sitcom here>".  The truth is a little stranger than you think, ironic, even.
     Okay, it's actually a water-tower, holding 50,000 gallons in that mock 'House' at the top.  It was constructed to supply water to Thorpeness.  Damaged in the Second Unpleasantness, they repaired it with it's own metal - see, 'iron-ic' - and reduced it's capacity to 30,000.
     Then, DISASTER!  Thorpeness got it's very own supply of water via plumbing and the water-tower no longer had a reason to be.
     So, it got re-purposed as - a house.   Which is very post-modern, or something.

Dunge Ness
A picture will prove efficacious here.  Art?

See?  A bit that sticks out

     Dungeness is described, somewhat bizarrely, as Britain's only desert, although how you can have a desert that backs onto the ocean rather beats me.  It is notable for the tatty old houses built from railway shacks and some much nicer designer ones.  Art?


     Oh, and for the ginormous nuclear power station that looms in the background.

Be wary of locally-sourced seafood ...

     Also Prospect Cottage, where film chap Derek Jarman lived.  We've had enough pictures of houses, so instead here's a T70 tank.

Yes, it is peculiar.  By design.

Orford Ness
This, to my mind, is much more redolent of 'desert'.  Both in the sense of there being nobody about, and it's also horribly bleak.  Art?

Thus

     It's a big wheel in the nature conservation industry.  Oh really?  Given what it looks like I doubt any big city developers are speeding there on sparking hooves^.  It looks grim enough to feature in a Jon Pertwee-era "Doctor Who", where some unspeakable horror comes oozing out of the sea, waving three arms, a head attached to each -
     Oh, and there are a couple of huge concrete structures dubbed "Pagodas", too.  Art?

Here's one of them

     These monstrous buildings were actually the property of the Atomic Weapons Research Establishment - atom bombs!  Cool! - and were designed for on-site testing of nuclear weapons to make sure they didn't go POP if dropped on the floor, or if they got a bit hot.  Or a bit cold, possibly, this being the Allotment (also see first para).
     Then there is also the Black Beacon, which really does look as if it came out of a sequel to "The Sea Devils".  Art?

I think Sarah Jane Smith is just out of shot

     It's rather boring to discover that it was only a radio direction beacon constructed in 1929.  Plus, if it was a modern-day "Doctor Who" script, I bet the slimey horrors would turn out to merely be misunderstood, and the beacon was affecting their shrimp beds or sense of balance, and Oh! sorry we've digested the population of Aldburgh, but now we can be terrific chums.  And sell you cheap seafood (but see caption to photo above).


*  Not all verbs may apply.  Poetic licence invoked.  All rights reserved.
**  Actually, do we pay him?  I must check that out.  If we do I shall stop it instantly!
***  That DARPA Telepathy helmet again
^  That's the hooves of the horses they're riding.  Not to imply that such people have hooves where humans have feet ...