Freedom Now In Doubt -

Although That Depends
On how dedicated MI5, Mossad and VAJA are in trawling teh interwebz for worrying information about impending war plans.
     I need to expand and expound a little, don't I?  Or this won't make sense.  Or as much sense as can be expected here - I was raised by rabid weasels, after all.
     Okay, this afternoon I was poking and prying around old bits of paperwork, seeing if I could locate a P47 - the tax document that gives you a £1,000,000 rebate from the government - with no success.  What I did find was this.  Art?

     I shan't enlarge, for reasons.  It appears to be a quite detailed and impartial analysis of the differing scenarios involved if/when Israel and Iran go to war. You have headings like "Conventional - Land", "Conventional - Air", "Nuclear" and aspects such as "Pros and Cons" and "Wild Cards". 

Wild pigeon.  Close enough.

 In reality it's no more than a surface skim of the matter, except it's a whole lot more than 99.9% of the Allotment's population would ever bother to compose, which is why your humble scribe ponders about internet scrutiny from people with long noses and suspicious minds.  Problem is, I don't remember writing it, nor when.  Fortunately none of it has come true.
     Well, yet.

Now that we've got that rather sinister Intro out of the way, I think the motley can be allowed outdoors on it's own.  Proceed!

A Bit Of Lighter Entertainment
It wouldn't be hard, would it?  Don't forget, Armageddon or the end of all things is supposed to begin in the Middle East.
     Here an aside.  I take it that "the Middle East" is a shockingly explicit example of Eurocentric if not Allotment-centric geography, since it's only the middle of anywhere as compared to Europe.  You also have "the Far East".  Do either of these localities describe Europe or the Allotment as "the Middle West" or "the Far West"*?
     Enough grim geopolitical wibble!  Let the clerihews begin.

Gertrude Stein

Did not mine.

For it is a very physical trade.

She much preferred to drink lemonade.

     I don't think I'll get many critics on that one.  Mining is indeed a grim, hard occupation, with a high risk of death or injury, and if you can keep the pennies rolling in by writing verse and sipping soda, who can blame you?

Gertie.  A poet.

     Here another aside.  Public Service Broadcasting's new album/CD/LP (delete whichever is out of date) is out very soon, and it focuses on coal mining in Wales.  Don't doubt that your humble scribe will be purchasing it and you WILL get to hear my views.

Karl Marx

Enjoyed larks.

He said "They're my guilty capitalist pleasure,

For I love lark pie beyond all human measure."

     This is approaching a proper clerihew.  I strongly doubt Ol' Ka - Ol' Kr - okay, I can't make an acceptable diminutive out of his name - strongly doubt Whiskers ever dared eat a pie made out of larks as this would instantly destroy his impeccable Socialist Street Cred.  Imagine Jezza getting fighting drunk and throwing up in a strip club - that bad**.

See?  Whiskers.  Not diminutive ones, either

Friedrich Engels

Was averse to lentils.

"They cause the passage of excess gas,"

He quoth.  "Thus I shall castigate the ruling class.

     He lived in Manchester Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell, you know, and poured forth considerable opprobium on the quarter of Angel Meadows, which was neither celestial nor green.  Because he was here in the Allotment in the Nineteenth Century, I doubt he encountered the lentil a lot.  Perhaps in soup?  

Good lord aloft!  And you thought Karl was bad ...

     I'm pretty sure that's a real photo, not a Photoshopped one.  If it is real then the question is, what are you hiding under there, Fred? A keg of beer?  A plate of sausages? An agit-prop reference library?

Now, there are only 80 words left until we hit count, and I have a potentially verrrry long article about "The Time Machine" to post, except it will be mentioning NBC warfare.  "Nuclear, Bacteriological and Chemical" for your enlightenment, which is the old NATO classification and I'm not sure - OR HAPPY - how the Warsaw Pact nomenclature WMD came about.  Given the first article on this BOOJUM! I think talking about NBC warfare might fruitfully be postponed until tomorrow. Meanwhile -

Have a lovely fluffy bunny

*  If so, be careful; we have nuclear weapons.
**  Note I do not define quite who 'Jezza' is, as this might cause trouble.