To Conrad,
your humble scribe (Me! Do keep up) a
splendidly entertaining evening’s study.
Yes, we are back to the 6th Canadian Infantry Brigade Machine
Gun Company’s War Diary, which is rather a mouthful, so I shall abbreviate it
in future to 6thMG. There. Does that count as an editorial decision? Oooh, the power, the power!
 |
| The Power |
Where was I? Oh yes.
The war diary. Notably, this
changes in February 1917, when a different officer takes over Intelligence
duties. From being terse single lines,
they get a lot more informative and detailed.
“But Conrad!” I hear you wibble. “What the Dog Buns* are you talking about?”
Well, I have given you a breakdown of the
British (and Commonwealth) Army’s structure.
In said army during the First Unpleasantness. In any unit of a significant size, such as an
artillery brigade or infantry battalion, one officer would have been lumped
with the task of Intelligence Officer.
It was their responsibility to keep a daily record of their unit’s
actions, usually in written longhand.
The 6thMG is the transcription into typed form – somewhere
around here I have the War Diary for a battalion of the Royal Lancashire
Fusiliers – and there are some typos.
Still, you get most of the gist.
 |
| Extra Large for all the detail |
You can see the date and unit
location. This records if the company
was in the front line or billets elsewhere.
Here they are at Mont St. Eloy, actually somewhat behind the front lines
thanks to how machine guns were employed.
The OC – Officer Commanding – is inspecting their positions at the
ungodly hour of 2:30 ante meridian, where the guns and crews of 24 Vickers guns
are waiting to spoil some hapless Teuton’s morning snooze. That many guns, even firing at half their
cyclic rate, will put 100 rounds a second onto target.
As I said, to me – fascinating. To You -
well yes
So You Want To Be A Supervillain?
Let us
continue with my Idiot’s Guide to World Domination, picking up where we left
off yesteryon and how mob-handed you intend to be.
Solo Supervillain
If you
choose to go it alone, then you don’t need to worry about anyone giving you
away by accident or intent; yes, by intent.
Being a supervillain comes with inherent mistrust and paranoia. You don’t need to split your ill-gotten gains
(or well-gotten ones, if you have a day job) with sidekicks, nor fund a flock
of minions.
However!
You don’t have a squad of bullet-catchers to protect your tender
hide. You have to do ALL the work
yourself. There’s nobody to celebrate
with. And, if you get caught, there is
nobody to break you out of jail**.
 |
| Despite this picture, a spandex fetish is not compulsory |
Helloooo (Said In A Leslie Phillips Manner)
Well now,
just as a stopped clock can be right
once per day – for we are assuming the 24-hour digital display here – so The
Metro can, occasionally, hit the gold (because real archers never refer to a
bullseye).
 |
| An Archer |
Thus it was with Tracy-Ann Oberman in
their usually forgettable “60 Seconds” piece.
Normally it’s simply whoever’s agent was next in line with a payment for
their client, usually some Z-list celebrity who’s on their seventh comeback, or
some talentless, rapidly-aging boy/girl band member who knows the clock is
ticking.
Not so with TAO. Conrad was certain he’d seen that name
before, and perhaps even written it down (as we all know he is a dinosaur to
whom nothing exists unless written down), which is why it stuck in my mind –
thank you, Steve***.
 |
| The Doctor consoles a man who'd had a stapler accident |
It turns out that she is a Person Of
Interest, having been in that premier dramatic reconstruction programme “Doctor
Who” – hang on, let me just check the Mystery Jets haven’t split up yet –
Phew! Still together, carry on – and
that staple of the afternoon tea and biscuit brigade, “Father Brown”.
She also knows her sci-fi, is easy on the
eyes and can tap dance. Overall, a
keeper.
A Female Doctor? How OUTRAGEOUS!
Just out of
interest, your humble scribe was pondering when the first female set up in
medical practice for the first time, evah?
Because <snickers horribly> then I can further exploit fan-boy ire
at a certain role’s transmogrification.
The date hopefully to pre-date November 1963.
A bit of internet digging reveals that
this would have been 1849, in South Canada.
Hmmm. I dunno, they’ll be getting
the vote next …
 |
| For once, words fail me. |
* I’ve been
using this a lot of late. It’s
BOOJUM!s Official Swear Phrase. Expressive yet SFW.
** You’re a
supervillain. Bail or a non-custodial
sentence are NOT AN OPTION!
*** My
memory. Usually erratic, unreliable and
full of gaps. NOT TODAY!
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