SIG PR.31/32 Message begins:
Ah! Hello. Yes, those folks at Spectrum were going to keep me in solitary until their liaison officer from UNIT intervened (he liked my short stories about them) and my cell now has a broadband connection, although everything has to be submitted for scrutiny. They say the trial will be a rush job, so hopefully - all fingers crossed! - I'll be out on licence this time tomorrow. That'll teach me to wilfully poke fun at The Red Officer*. Oh well, let the motley begin!
What Conrad Did At The Weekend
SIT BACK DOWN! This is so interesting, it is.
Okay, I lied, it's not, but I did the work and took the photographs so you can jolly well get the full effect. Anyway, I blame Cathryn.
"But Conrad!" I hear you object. "You ALWAYS blame someone else."
Er - well, you do have a point. Cathryn told your humble scribe to perform a significant task over the weekend that he enjoyed. Well, I moved books around as I thought what a splendid idea it would be to have all my unit military histories in one place.
 |
| There they are, the little swine |
So I had to shift hundreds of books to find the relevant ones, as they were in no order whatsoever. Then there's the fact that, as you can see, my unit histories are all in different formats - hardback, softback and paperback - and sizes - so how do I store them? Thanks, Cathryn.
"Person Of Interest"
I have been watching Series Three of this interesting program, which features a reclusive billionaire philanthropist, a kickass badass ex-Special Forces guy, a dog, an assassin and a bunch of corrupt crooks who go under the name of "HR". Since in our telephone answering at work we include "Hello HR -" as an introduction, Conrad squirms every time these evil beasts get a namecheck.
 |
| The poster child for "evil" and "corrupt" |
Anyway, that has nothing to do with the assassin, Shaw. Wow, how many carrots does she eat! There she and her partner are on the rooftop, spying via a fibre-optic camera cable on a roomful of bad guys in a flat below. The camera isn't very high definition and it's black and white and the baddies are a good twenty feet from the fibre-optic lens.
"Caesium! declares Shaw. "They're building a dirty bomb!" and after killing them all she proudly holds up a tiny ziplock bag containing a couple of ounces of grit.
Really?
| Shaw without makeup |
"Dirty Bombs" A.K.A. Radiological Weapons
A radiological weapon is one that utilises an explosive core with a cladding of radioactive material. No fission, no fusion, merely contamination with some horribly unpleasant stuff. Technically a banger rolled in egg-white dipped in a pile of plutonium powder constitutes a radiological weapon, although it wouldn't contaminate any major metropolii, nor any minor ones either.
Conrad did consider going into more detail about the matter, except that EXCISED BY SPECTRUM CENSOR and besides that, Spectrum would probably EXCISED BY SPECTRUM CENSOR, quite besides having EXCISED BY SPECTRUM CENSOR
Battlefield
Conrad, as you surely know by now, wanders through the world with a song on his lips a party going on in his head and a vacant expression in his eyes**. Nevertheless, he does occasionally notice oddments, such as this:
The blurb underneath is from Sky Sports, although honestly, Conrad cannot tell what on earth this is supposed to be. "Battlefield" as analogy, sure, that I get, but what is it? Racing of some sort, except horsey, human or very loud motor car - who knows!
Actually I do. I shall dub this sport "Squidmoid Blintz", performed by ostriches on the backs of camels being guided remotely by trained ballet dancers wearing VR helmets***.
WORD LIMIT REACHED
Eh? But I normally
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SPECTRUM CENSOR OVERRIDE
SIG PR.31/32 Message ENDS
* I'm not going to risk even mentioning his name
** Protective camouflage.
*** If I were more imaginative I'd work in that wonder material "Sprong", too
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