Conrad Is Happy

Happy As He Gets
Which is to say, never to the extent of those merry folk in films who leap into the air and click their heels together before coming back to land.  For one thing, Conrad's ungainliness and bulk means "coming back to land" would probably involve broken limbs, usually those he falls upon.  For another, he is British and we simply don't go in for unseemly displays of emotion.  No, you can tell when Conrad is happy because there are three less frown lines on his forehead.

Count them

     "Ah, because it's the weekend!" I hear you conjecture.  Maybe postulate, certainly conjecture*.  Partly.  Up until close of business yesterday there was a possibility of overtime at work on Saturday, which Conrad - mercenary, grasping and acquisitive - had of course agreed to, which meant an early start <makes sad face>.
     Then overtime today was cancelled!  And since it is merely two days since payday, your humble scribe still has money in his account.  So it was with great relish that I set the alarm for 8:30 and then ignored it for another hour.  Heh.
     I am not going to post that utterly terrifying photograph of your modest artisan grinning in what can only be described as sinister sociopathy, because it scares not only the children but me as well.
     Now, let the motley commence!

Coincidence Part One
If you aren't aware of the band Cherry Ghost, then you ought to be, especially their debut "Thirst for Romance".  Uniformly excellent stuff, and one of Conrad's favourite's is the track "Dead Man's Suit".  Not sure quite what the lyrics mean, even if - alright, they completely baffle me, okay?  There, admitted it.  One couplet goes:

"Sister, quick pull the cord

There's a horse on the ward -"

     Quite how a large equine quadruped would get past Reception and open key-coded doors is open to question; I guess that's artistic licence.   Conrad therefore is slightly stunned to see an advert for Lloyd's Bank with the following screenshot:

Aaaand nobody bats an eyelid

     Still, it's an excellent track, the band aren't completely obscure and in the time between the album coming out and an advertising agency getting a contract, I suppose a fan might have been plotting this all along.

Coincidence Part Two
Last night I was chatting to Liam**, who turns out to be an English graduate, which is a dangerous admission for the chap to make, as Conrad reads a lot and is quite happy to bore about what he's read and when and why.  The inevitable question was posed by your talented typist: have you read any Thomas Pynchon?
     "I started The Crying of Lot 49" he began, at which point your modest artisan reached into his bag and produced his copy of "The Crying Of Lot 49" (plus Companion).

As my edition

Following Right On From That
The Companion is probably the most snobbish, pseudy and priggish book your humble scribe has ever read.  It spends three pages evaluating the name of the heroine, Oedipa Maas, and four analysing the organisation name of "Tristero".  Here's a sample:

Abernethy, citing Metzger as an example of a narcissistic closed system of a McLuhanesque kind, suggests that Metzger's "sense of the value of this reproduction of himself as a means of 'preserving' his identity is false".

     Quite.  As baffling as Cherry Ghost lyrics.

Conrad Loves A Food Safety Challenge
Yes, although we knew that already.  Or at least you should IF YOU HAVE BEEN READING THE BLOG.  If not, go back and revise as there will be a test later.  REVISE NOW!
     Okay, onto some sweets that Conrad found in a tin in his work locker.

"7th August 2014"

     Having a dry mouth, I guzzled sweets instead of pints of pop, and do you know what?  I'm still here.  Your humble scribe usually sneers at "Best By" and here really doesn't see what the issue is, since these are boiled sweets made of mostly sugar, which has such a high osmotic potential that it destroys hostile micro-organisms.

And to egg the pudding -

     I've also been guzzling these as well and - you're probably ahead of me - I'm still here.



* What do you bet both words have Latin roots?
** No, not that Liam, this Liam.