I don't have time to create a long, carefully-crafted post in the minutes before having to dash for the bus, so here's one I made earlier - 8th March 2016 in fact. Back to creating stuff this evening!
Well, Yes, A Bit Ambiguous
Conrad, master of all he surveys*, appreciates that there are three ways to interpret that title. Let us detail them, one by one.
1) The Wizard of Oz
Personally Conrad hates, hates, HATES this film as it is a musical, reason enough in his eyes to loathe it unto the latter reaches of Hades and until - how does Bill phrase it? - "Until the last syllable of recorded time". But your mileage may vary. Anyway, cool in tin:
2) Tin Tin
Ah, that young Belgian detective. He is definitely cool. "Cool Tin Tin" is, perhaps, stretching the blog title a little, but we do have a 15% Wobble Factor inherent in it, so we are okay.
3) Pear and Blueberry Polenta Cake
A gluten-free recipe as it uses polenta not flour, and is a bit pricey as the blueberry is a frankly high-booty kind of fruity.
It also has to be allowed to gradually come down to room temperature after being in the oven. So, literally "cool in tin".
I suppose I could have just posted this picture at the beginning, but it wouldn't have been funny**.
I WILL NOT!
I bought them, I shall eat them!
Comic Relief Bake Off - Yes I Know It's Late!
From Wednesday last. You can't really expect Conrad to post on the very night in question, as by the time this program finishes it's nine o'clock, and beginning to post then would mean BOOJUM! not being updated until ten o'clock. Plus, Conrad does occasionally have things to do other than blog-related***.
Right. The cast: Chris Moyles, Victoria Wood, Alexa Chung, Kayvan Novak, with Ed Byrne as host.
Signature Bake: 90 minutes to make a Creative traybake!
90 minutes for this is a bit tight in terms of time, which means amusement as we watch the bakers struggle under time constraints. Wicked us.
So there were: Kayvan - Quince Jam and Pistachio
Chris - white chocolate ganache
Alexa - salted caramel brownies
Victoria - Coconut and lime
This really was a catalogue of hilarious errors from the very start. Kayvan's was over-flavoured, Chris dropped his, Alexa's barely managed the deadline as she made a second batch, the first being filed under "bin", and Victoria came well-deserved first.
Technical: 12 Crumpets.
That sounds easy, but crumpets are made with yeast, thus leavened, and thus what one might call "Yeasty Beasty". 1 Hour 50 minutes to make 12 of them - time enough if you know what you're doing.
4th - Chris: undercooked.
3rd - Victoria: undercooked despite knowing that the Bake Off ovens have a special "Proving Drawer" for yeasted bakes - thus detested as a Girly Swot by everyone else
2nd - Kayvan only produced 9 crumpets. They were high quality crumpets, but -there were only 9!
Alexa - the lady who keep shoes in her oven scored "GOOD"
Showstopper: A vegetable cake in thine own image.
Vickie produced a Beetroot cake that looked good and tasted just as nice.
Alexa's Courgette & Lime cake collapsed like dynamited cooling towers.
Chris actually managed pretty well with his cake, until the icing started to melt ...
Kayvan: Coconut and Lime - not bad but with far too much lime
And the winner? One suspected that she did occasionally bake on the weekend.
Like the sponge - VICTORIA!
Quite the apt name :0
A Pome For Emma
As Katie had her goodbye Pome, here is Emma's. This one is more poignant, as Emma is moving outside the organisation and location. I shall leave where she is going to your accurate vision.
Every word true.
The Metro And Minaj
Everyone's favourite Chip Shop Wrapper had another attack of adequacy earlier this week.
"EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NICKI MINAJ!!!" it proclaimed.
"GLOBAL WARMING!!! TERRORISM!!!!! NUCLER^ MELTDOWN!!!!!!!!!!" it also proclaimed, but those were on Page 7, 15 and 23 respectively.
As usual in an interview, Ms Minaj was represented by photographs that have nothing to do with music but a lot to do with silicon^^.
The whole alleged "interview" took up a whole 150 words, which is about one-sixth of the scrivel you've read so far.
* It's a man's life in the Ordnance Survey
** Is is funny now? <One of the Great Philosophical Questions>
*** Plotting to take over the world, for one.
^ I suspect a lack of editorial supervision here, let alone Spellchecker.
^^ No tasteless mention of "Valleys" here, thanks.
Conrad, master of all he surveys*, appreciates that there are three ways to interpret that title. Let us detail them, one by one.
1) The Wizard of Oz
Personally Conrad hates, hates, HATES this film as it is a musical, reason enough in his eyes to loathe it unto the latter reaches of Hades and until - how does Bill phrase it? - "Until the last syllable of recorded time". But your mileage may vary. Anyway, cool in tin:
 |
| In tin, certainly. Cool? Well, your mileage may vary ... |
Ah, that young Belgian detective. He is definitely cool. "Cool Tin Tin" is, perhaps, stretching the blog title a little, but we do have a 15% Wobble Factor inherent in it, so we are okay.
 |
| Tinted? |
A gluten-free recipe as it uses polenta not flour, and is a bit pricey as the blueberry is a frankly high-booty kind of fruity.
It also has to be allowed to gradually come down to room temperature after being in the oven. So, literally "cool in tin".
I suppose I could have just posted this picture at the beginning, but it wouldn't have been funny**.
I WILL NOT!
I bought them, I shall eat them!
Comic Relief Bake Off - Yes I Know It's Late!
From Wednesday last. You can't really expect Conrad to post on the very night in question, as by the time this program finishes it's nine o'clock, and beginning to post then would mean BOOJUM! not being updated until ten o'clock. Plus, Conrad does occasionally have things to do other than blog-related***.
Right. The cast: Chris Moyles, Victoria Wood, Alexa Chung, Kayvan Novak, with Ed Byrne as host.
| Kim Novak. What the heck, easy on the eyes even if not correct |
90 minutes for this is a bit tight in terms of time, which means amusement as we watch the bakers struggle under time constraints. Wicked us.
So there were: Kayvan - Quince Jam and Pistachio
Chris - white chocolate ganache
Alexa - salted caramel brownies
Victoria - Coconut and lime
 |
| All this and bakerabiltiy too? |
Technical: 12 Crumpets.
That sounds easy, but crumpets are made with yeast, thus leavened, and thus what one might call "Yeasty Beasty". 1 Hour 50 minutes to make 12 of them - time enough if you know what you're doing.
4th - Chris: undercooked.
3rd - Victoria: undercooked despite knowing that the Bake Off ovens have a special "Proving Drawer" for yeasted bakes - thus detested as a Girly Swot by everyone else
2nd - Kayvan only produced 9 crumpets. They were high quality crumpets, but -there were only 9!
Alexa - the lady who keep shoes in her oven scored "GOOD"
 |
| A Stormy Petrel. Nothing to do with baking/ I just like stormy petrels. |
Vickie produced a Beetroot cake that looked good and tasted just as nice.
Alexa's Courgette & Lime cake collapsed like dynamited cooling towers.
Chris actually managed pretty well with his cake, until the icing started to melt ...
Kayvan: Coconut and Lime - not bad but with far too much lime
And the winner? One suspected that she did occasionally bake on the weekend.
Like the sponge - VICTORIA!
Quite the apt name :0
 |
| Wood. |
A Pome For Emma
As Katie had her goodbye Pome, here is Emma's. This one is more poignant, as Emma is moving outside the organisation and location. I shall leave where she is going to your accurate vision.
Steel yourself and going be cryin'
Just say "Goodbye!" to Emma Ryan
After today she's gone for good
Off to work in darkest Salford.
Resident in up-market Media City.
Across the road Weaste ain't so pretty.
She's advised not to walk the Salford Street,
And stay ensconced in her office suite.
This is good, impartial advice -
Those Weasteans would rob her in a trice.
We do have another security suggestion -
Be like the natives and get a gun.
Moving on from controversy,
Emma recently became Auntie.
She loves the bones out of that babe.
An exemplary way to behave,
For Emma used to give Big Sis a smite -
A smite indeed! and a boot and a bite.
She did this because she was bigger,
And her temper sat on a hair trigger.
Nowadays, Emma is much less of a rager
And only attacks after many bombs of Jaeger.
 |
| Media City - - IF! - you're drinking Bacardi. |
The Metro And Minaj
Everyone's favourite Chip Shop Wrapper had another attack of adequacy earlier this week.
"EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW WITH NICKI MINAJ!!!" it proclaimed.
"GLOBAL WARMING!!! TERRORISM!!!!! NUCLER^ MELTDOWN!!!!!!!!!!" it also proclaimed, but those were on Page 7, 15 and 23 respectively.
As usual in an interview, Ms Minaj was represented by photographs that have nothing to do with music but a lot to do with silicon^^.
The whole alleged "interview" took up a whole 150 words, which is about one-sixth of the scrivel you've read so far.
 |
| Here's an architectural stress member. Far more insteresting. |
* It's a man's life in the Ordnance Survey
** Is is funny now? <One of the Great Philosophical Questions>
*** Plotting to take over the world, for one.
^ I suspect a lack of editorial supervision here, let alone Spellchecker.
^^ No tasteless mention of "Valleys" here, thanks.
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