As you might guess from my anarchic exuberance, truth, justice and freedom have prevailed and your humble scribe has been released from durance vile aboard SPECTRUM's flying HQ, Cloudbase.
| Conrad, as happy as only he can be Also looking a bit rumpled, the scruffy beggar |
Durance vile is prison. See? BOOJUM! is both educating and entertaining you simultaneously, and don't worry, there will be no hideous trans-Atlantic portmanteau version that crushes both nouns together -
Sorry, a bit of a tangent there. Anyway, Cloudbase. I didn't get to see a lot of it as I got frogmarched to a prison cell, except that what I did see what immaculately pristine, all white plastic and burnished chrome. The staff who were swanning around all gave me hard looks - you'd have thought I was some
So here I am again, although for how long is a moot point; the friendly UNIT liaison officer who got me broadband access last night was rotated away this morning and a right hatchet-faced bruiser took over. "I'm Captain Walmsley and I don't like you, Conrad," I was told. "We'll be having words later," I was told again, and I don't think they'll be cooing words of welcome. He's another bulldozer bench-presser who probably burns down orphanages for fun.
Transport Troubles
You can catch a fast shuttlecraft from Cloudbase and be at Gatwick in thirty minutes, but can you rely on First Bus to supply a reliable service?
NO! No, you cannot. The 24 failed to turn up this morning, forcing your humble scribe to catch another bus into Royton to catch his alternative, the 181. Except that didn't turn up, either. After this no-show I caught the next 24, a mere 30 minutes after the original no-show. A single-decker 24 at that, meaning that it rapidly transformed into a heaving, sweaty scrum. I suppose we have to be grateful that it's not summer or we'd have broiled like chickens. Then we hit a traffic jam on the approach to the city centre. Again, I suppose we must be grateful since there were no earthquakes, typhoons or UFO attacks*.
Why am I sharing this with you? BECAUSE IT ANGERS ME! A LOT!!
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| "Be grateful, Conrad! From conflict comessss drama!" Thank you First Bus spokesdemon |
"A Passionate Prodigality" By Guy Chapman
I have given up reading "The Crying Of Lot 49" with the "Companion" in hand, as it's a slow and clumsy process holding two books and having to cross-reference every sentence to see if there's an entry about it. Instead I have taken up APP, one of the finest autobiographies written about the First Unpleasantness. Unlike some, Chapman does not salt his text with untranslated French, Latin or Greek, and whilst he has a telling touch of phrase, he's not trying to be A War Poet In Prose.
This is where yesterday's coincidence came in. The Cryptic Crossword had a clue that ran thus: "Imitate a piece all round the top of the brickwork", _A_A_ _T
"PARAPET" I realised.
Back to APP. Reading a work written in 1933 can be a little tricky, as the language of now is not the language of then. He mentions a "maul" and I had to look that one up.
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| A maul |
Creepy, eh?
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| Gaze upon the parapet |
Shakeshaft
Oh, how I relish this so. Shakespeare, get ready to take your lumps!
As we continue with that line from "Julius Caesar" -
" - Leads to Victory"
Oh indeed does it Billy?
Now you're being silly.
"Victory" is Nelson's flagship
Not a metaphor you drip
Next it'll be about Nike.
Bill, get on your bikey
Ride down to Victory's wharf
Get up to speed and ride right off ...
<cackles madly and rubs hands gleefully>
And now a bit of celebratory nuclear mayhem:
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| Whee doggie! |
* Yet.
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