And For Today's Coincidence -

First Of All, I Must Apologise
(This isn't the coincidence bit) Normally I post a promotional post on Facebook and Twitter in the morning, before leaving for work, or - when on leave - after I roll out of bed, chuckling at how late it is.
     Not so this morning, for which you can thank my terrible short-sightedness and the robustness of our shower's base unit.  I came stumbling out of the shower to get dried, for Conrad cleanses himself every workday morning, and minus glasses managed to crack the little toes on my left foot on the shower base.
     Give me some credit, as I did not bawl like a little girl, turn the air blue with swears nor collapse in cataclysmic pain*.  Dabbing away the gore and gently massaging life back into the offending objects ate up precious minutes, as I am on a tight schedule**.

Conrad, stoic and uncomplaining in his agony

     Then, when I sat down at the idiot computer, it froze.  Not just the internet, everything.  This time I did swear.  I'm not proud of it: it was a moment of weakness.  Damning my silicon slug to the five corners of Hades, I left.  
     "But Conrad!" I hear you quibble.  "Couldn't you have done that at work?"
     NOT IN WORK TIME!  Obviously.  I posted the link on Facebook alone as our net-monitoring nanny software blocks Twitter, because it is the root of all evil.  That's not money-related, anyway.  I think.
     
Back To Coincidence
One of the travails of our workspace is "Hot Desking" where you the worker have to find whichever desk is free for that day.  The recent arrivals within our pocket empire have not yet learned that Conrad Does Not Hot Desk, so I had been forced yesterday to wander further afield.  So, yesterday I was sat next to Sophie.  Yes, this Sophie.
     One of the triumphs of our workspace is ending up next to people who are interesting and entertaining, and Sophie is both.  She mentioned being able to play the violin and piano, and how she'd have liked to learn how to play the theremin.
     Behold Google today:

Lady at Theremin

     This is Carla Rockmore, the Lithuanian diva of the theremin, and what a splendidly appropriate surname.
     I also surprised Sophie with my mention of the Ondes Martenot, a keyboard instrument which allowed the player to modulate their music with a ring-on-a-string, viz:

Seems you need three hands to play properly

Theremin you go.

Conrad And Nuclear Weapons
Since the Charm Offensive seems to have worked, your humble scribe can now talk loudly about ATOM BOMBS or ATOM BOMBING THE MOON, without fear of GROM or The Activity coming down the chimney on the heels of a demolition charge.  No need to use the euphemism "Foofoodilly" any longer!

Conrad, brimming with happiness

     This post is only actually borderline nuclear weapons, for it concerns both the Rapier and the Bludgeon, which I was banging on about last night.
     "Why not," I pondered, "Have a rapier made out of DEPLETED URANIUM!  My what a brilliant idea, combining the best of both weaons, I'll contact the Patent Office tomorrow."
     DU being fantastically dense <insert trite political joke here>, you might not be able to actually lift it, let alone parry and thrust as with a proper rapier, yet it would have the saving grace that you could always beat people over the head with it, and probably stop tanks, too.  What to name it - "Rudgeon"?  "Blapier"?  I'll get back to you on that.
     Unlike a rapier, you couldn't use it as an impromptu kebab skewer, unless you want to spawn hideous mutant offspring a generation down the line.

"Hey!" complained the Hideous Mutant Offspring Appreciation Society

What A Difference A 39-Year Gap Makes
Another hilariously amusing anecdote from Monday night and the gig at the Castle Hotel.  Their jukebox selection was, I think I can say without being controversial, eclectic.
     "Hang on, what's that?" I questioned myself.  Not out loud, that makes people stare and move away.  "Why I do believe it's The Fall and "Bingo Master's Breakout" from 1977."
     If I am correct there, and I'm too lazy to go check and none of you will bother either so we can just take it as given, then it's 39 years since I last heard it (hence the title).  Heard it and HATED IT!  Conrad was always of the opinion that The Fall were Sir John Peel's major lapse in good taste, except he quite liked hearing it on Monday.
     Conrad:  not afraid to reverse an opinion, although it might take a while so don't hold your breath. 

The Fall

* There was blood, though.
** This isn't really news, I admit, yet it helps to create a sense of drama.  Right?