And quite rightly so. Except this is BOOJUM! where logic and rationality are alternative extras. "Yes but the teapots!" I hear you ask. Well, Conrad's selected area for food preparation is now at 90 degrees to where it used to be, thus removing any possibility of getting gluten in the fork drawer. This puts the cat and I into close - nay, uncomfortable - proximity, as she is used to getting fed on top of the bin. Cats being curious at the best of times, not to mention greedy, and in Jenny's case cheeky to boot, I need a physical means of preventing her from seizing upon me vittles.
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| Thus! |
And now you know: Cat Barrier Teapots are a real and relevant thing.
Not, I admit, the best example of same. Still, they are rare and uncommon and I deemed it unwise to avoid taking a photo on the expectation that they'd come back later on, except better.
Which was wise as they didn't. Here's what they can look like:
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| A little more spectacular |
A Lightbulb Moment
No! I'm not talking about sudden inspiration whilst doing The Metro's Cryptic Crossword - although in my typically modest style may I point out I did it in 18 minutes today - instead I refer to an actual physical lightbulb.
This one stands five stories above the floor in the atrium of The Electric Goldfish Bowl, and actually died a few weeks ago. It hasn't been replaced since, presumably because it's a difficult process. Your humble scribe has pondered at length on this mystery in the past, speculating that replacement requires telekinesis, or perhaps teleportation, or a winged superhero slumming it to pay the rent.
Magic! That must be it, magic.
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| A lonely lifeless light |
Another of Conrad's wry observations on the human condition. Speaking as an outsider, of course. This was what must be one of those "People, Eh?" moments.
It was whilst staring out of the bus yesterday morning, mulling over a crossword clue, that I noticed one of the passengers not getting on the bus. It being a bright, breezy and chilly morning, our Everyman had on a large bobble hat made of wool, for as you know a great deal of heat can be lost through the head. To add even more insulation, he had a thick woolen scarf that bulged up through the collar of his coat, because again you can lost a lot of heat that way. Clearly a chap taking care to keep warm and - O I say!
He was also wearing shorts.
People, eh?
A Short Discourse Upon Fillums
It being a while since your modest artisan has sat down and satirised the cinema, allow me to regurgitate the BOOJUM! rules of film reviewing:
1) Take everything literally
2) Make it all up
3) The author is always right
So, let the motley begin!
Eddie The Eagle: He's NOT an eagle, he's a human being! That is, one of you lot, and you can tell this immediately from the poster. Hom. Sap. This seems to your talented typist to be another "Foxcatcher" where there were NO FOXES!
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| Conrad: covering all bases |
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| Proof that your humble scribe isn't making it all up |
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| Because THIS! |
And we're at word limit already. I hope you enjoyed these postcards from the sedge.
* At this point we're at 666 words, hehe!
** "the" deliberately not capitalised. Just to be perverse.
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