Plus And Minus

You Can't Win With Me So Don't Bother Trying
You know Conrad by now, ever ready to fly into an apoplectic rage or dissolve in shrieks of laughter, depending on his whim, and occasionally both at once over the same thing.
     Perhaps I exaggerate, yet only slightly.
     Let me list the downsides of getting a lift into work in the Murdermobile.
     1)  Too bumpy; cannot manage anything beyond a barely-legible scribble*.
     2)  No Metro; not that I read it, but it does have a Cryptic Crossword
      - and that's it.
     "Conrad!  How can you not list the balancing series of positives that must surely go with getting a chauffeur-driven ride into Manchester?" I hear you cavil.

A weasel riding a woodpecker.
You couldn't make these up, could you?

     Okay, okay <mutter grumble> ta very much Degsy**.  The good things:
     1)  Not having to rely on the witless warts who direct and drive First Bus.  Of course this leads to another downside, no material for ranting, yet on balance I still prefer the chauffeur-driven ride.
     2)  Not having to barge my way through a scrum of people who insist on standing in the narrowest part of the bus rather than go upstairs WHERE THERE ARE PLENTY OF SEATS!
     3)  Not having someone dying of infectious scrofula hacking and snorting in the seats behind you
     4)  Being able to listen to a podcast that Degsy had downloaded, "Pod Stallions", today about Godzilla and Godzilla merchandise.  The 'cast must have played for an hour without these guys repeating themselves - they covered "Frankenstein Conquers The World", "Son of Godzilla", Nick Adams, "Monster Zero", Aurora model kits, Ultraman, The Godzilla Gang, Jet Jaguar, "Godzilla Versus Megalon", an endless array of toys and toy manufacturers and a lot more besides.
     Enough Intro.  Let the motley begin!

"A Passionate Prodigality" By Guy Chapman
A splendidly-written autobiography, stylish and honest and a stern corrective to those who think war a good thing.  However, as with works written eighty or ninety years ago, some of what GC writes is obscure to the modern reader.
     Fear not!  For here is Conrad the pedantic hair-splitting lexicographer, who will illuminate you, perhaps blindingly.
     "The Quarter-to-Ten":  here Chapman refers to the 9.45" mortar, which calibre in inches suggests the pun about time.  It did not have a lot of range, as mortars tend not to, although the bomb it fired contained a colossal amount of explosives that made a very big hole indeed "big enough to bury five mules" as GC puts it.

Some hapless Germans are going to be sorry ...

     "Six-inch How firing one-oh-six": GC is at the vanguard of an advance when a German counter-attack about a thousand strong comes in, only to be absolutely shattered by British gunfire.  The Forward Observation Officer making the above comment is talking about Six-Inch Howitzers, medium artillery with longer range than normal field guns, firing shells with a 106 fuse.  This, a French invention (like the Quarter-to-ten), detonated the shell immediately it hit anything, even a grazing hit.

... very sorry ...

... very, very sorry ...

     
"Elephant Splinter Proofs": This would puzzle anyone unfamiliar with the Elephant Shelter, a kind of hut made with corrugated steel, supposedly proof against shrapnel splinters.

A home from home

Too many words!  More pictures!

Very well -
Have a screenshot of a family of ducklings getting a police escort:

     That's the Norks*** for you - tall, handsome and kind to animals.

"Reptilicus"
As mentioned on "Pod Stallions".  You may have sat down and wondered why Denmark doesn't produce monster movies the way Japan does, I know I have, and the answer is this film.  Art?

Reptilicus!  He spits green goo!

     I forget the background padding and exposition, go to IMDB if you want that, the concept boils down to a big lizard smashing up Copenhagen, dissolving people with green spit and - that's it.  Art?

Look!  Look!  A Madsen light machine gun!
Oh, and Reptilicus

     Conrad, whom we all know gets sweaty-palmed when there are light automatic weapons on the table, principally remembers this film for the incredible number of Madsen machine guns present.

See?

     More Madsens, Art, more Madsens!

Ooooh!  A positive orgy of Madsens!

     I realise this is a bit off-topic, so have a little more monster.  Art?

The Danes - tall, handsome but beastly to beasts

*  Insults like "What's the difference?" will be treated with the sneering contempt they deserve.
** The chauffeur, except don't tell him I called him that.
*** Because this is a smiley happy laughy post these particular Norks are Norwegians, not to be confused with the grumpy horrid sad North Korean Norks.