Easter Feaster

This Borders On Breaking One Of Our Cardinal Rules
Here at BOOJUM! we pride ourselves on being sheer entertainment in written form, that or torture imposed via textual transmission, pay your money, decide what you like.  Our rules of engagement mean that we spurn three things:  Religion, Politics or Current Affairs, but because it's my blog I can feel free to bend the rules or ignore them entirely.
     Not so much the Current Affairs rule:  Conrad is feeling distinctly queasy about opening up the BBC News website, just in case.  Politics much the same; reading about the antics of those who run (or is it ruin?) the country does not make for edifying reading, and at times Conrad sympathises with Charles the First dismissing Parliament, who seem at times to be a collection of embezzelling crooked halfwits.

MPs debate their salary increase

    There!  You got me going on Politics!  Now do you see why we avoid it?
     Then there's Religion, and you cannot avoid seeing that it's Easter at the moment, a truly pivotal moment in the Christian calendar.  Conrad, avoiding any religious commentary, would like to make it known that he's not that keen on Easter eggs - camouflaged alien spies not big on chocolate - yet he is mad keen on Hot Cross Buns.  Yes indeed, he will go a long way for those delicious spiced teacakes containing dried fruit.
     So!  Perhaps I should have put "Hot Cross Bun Feaster", except that doesn't rhyme or show how clever I am.

More Of Food
In case you don't already know, Conrad is passing fond of popcorn, as long as it's sweet.  Cinema-style or toffee-coated, he's not bothered, and misses that banana-flavoured version that was around in the Nineties.  As you already know from the above, he also likes hot cross buns.  Thus - 

Awesome

     He scoffed half a packet this afternoon, snickering evilly at the hapless Edna whimpering pitifully at his elbow for some.  Certainly not Edna!  This is Win-Win in a bag and you're not getting any of it!

Portrait Of Man With Sulky Dog (Edna) As Pillow

"A Passionate Prodigality" By Guy Chapman
Guy's autobiography of his experiences during the First Unpleasantness was written in 1933, which means his occasional slang references are a little oblique at times.  He also assumes that you the reader get his allusions to literature, which I am afraid is not always the case for Conrad, as he was not educated at a public school.  There are other, strange and unfamiliar words to check up on.  At one point he mentions lying beneath a massive tangle of rusty barbed wire, trying to cut a route out of it and lying on "kex".
     What on earth is "Kex"? pondered your humble scribe.  Art?

ART!

     Art, the septic sump beckons if you don't -

Better

    Kex, apparently gentle reader, are the collected dried stalks of dead plants.  Alan Titchmarsh you have been superceded.
     Nor is this all.  Guy relates the horrifying and yet hilarious visit he paid to an Observation Post with some of the ever-friendly Royal Field Artillery officers who manned it.  From their position they could see behind the German front lines, to a lane that their mail orderly travelled each morning, bringing post to the front-line landsers.  The RFA gunners would target this hapless individual with shrapnel air-bursts as he walked along the road.
     "We're not trying to kill him," they explained to Guy.  "Just make him drop all his letters."

I Have No Idea
One of the tasks that I carry out before beginning to type the deathless prose you are now reading, is to load up screenshots that have been taken previously.  Thus I came across this:

What?

     I suspect that the clip refers to the "Tsar Bomba" - I leave you to decide which Cold War superpower assembled this engine of destruction - especially since that title reads "The Largest Nuclear Bomb".
     That's my suspicion.  I don't know for certain why I took this screenshot, except to say that anyone interested in things that go BANG! would already know about the Tsar Bomba, including your modest artisan.
     Chalk it up to experience and move on, I suppose.

Tangentially About Food
Come on, you know by now that Conrad WILL read the ingredients list on the back of the food wrapper, the bottle of drink or the cosmetic container.  After all, if the manufacturer is conscientious enough to put it there, then it would be rude to ignore it, right?
     Right!  So here we have "Orchard Apple And Aloe Shampoo":

As described

     This stuff is the cheapest shampoo in Morrisons, which is why your talented typist buys it.  He then wondered what the ingredients were, so much so that he took a photo:

"Aloe Barbadensis" and "Pyrus Malus" the relevant words

     Now, I hope Art is on the ball.  Art, Aloe Barbadensis, please:

There you go

     That satisfied the "Aloe" part of that label.  Can we have "Pyrus Malus" now, Art, thanks:

Here we are

     And here is the "Apple" component.  Conrad's pedantic heart is happy.

You didn't ask but here it is - 

Art's default detention centre

     This is the septic sump that's keeping Art so well-behaved.

MPs debate VAT on Weasel-purchases