Go On, Then

Well Well Well
Your humble scribe finds himself home earlier than expected, although still too late to craft a BOOJUM! from scratch.  Twiddling his thumbs, what did he decide to do but post the very same post that got created and sent exactly a year ago.
     Because Conrad has zero self-awareness and never re-reads the blog, this is actually a valuable exercise in seeing what made your modest artisan laugh a year ago, and whether there are certain constants.  Boasting about how clever I am seems to be consistent, if not altogether supported by the fact.
     Anyway, I have an appointment with a bottle of beer, so let the motley be regurgitated*!



* Sorry for the disgusting image.  It'll fade over time.

Plus Dog, Cat And Vampires
Nothing if not eclectic, are we?  
     Conrad has been on leave today, not for any particular reason, merely that he has leave to take before April 1st.  Lots of leave, don't you know, as he is so diligent and conscientious and committed that he feels work comes first.*
     Well then, lets get the Obligatory Cute Animal photo out of the way:

That's Jenny and Edna: cyborg sentry cat and mobile alarm system respectively

     The weather this morning was extraordinarily nice for mid-March, so Jenny went and sprawled on the flags, shortly to be pestered by Edna, who simply had to come along and see what was going on.  Nosiness that dog's besetting sin.

More Of Codex Seraphinianus
This is indeed a very odd book.  Conrad hasn't found anyone who's translated the language used, although the mathematics is apparently Base 21 - rather than the Base 10 you humans use.  Have a photo or two:

     These are bizarre mechanical devices, for who knows what purpose?
     I suppose what I could do is read the text and note down the upper and lower case letters used, to establish an alphabet, and then see if any pattern emerges.  Although if it does translate, it'll probably be in Italian.  The author being Italian.

"WAATUBFIV"
I hope some of you were puzzling over this acronym that I made up all by myself last night.
     What does it mean?
     "Where Are All The Ugly Bald Fat Icky Vampires"

There is this guy but this from ages ago.

     It's a concept as much as anything else.  I know, I know, there's Cassidy the Rollicking Irish Vampire in "Preacher", and "The Goon" has some fat pompopus hags who think they're divine, but as far as Conrad can see, that's it.
     So, as far as I can see, vampirism comes with an automatic whole-body makeover that turns the recipient into a cross between walkway model and adult film star, with an unquenchable thirst for human blood** of course, which is probably the down side of the conversion process.
     Alright, I also had to add "Icky" in to make the thing pronouncable.

The Goon holds forth on the "Twilight" films.

Gene Roddenberry Ergonomics:  Captain Pike And His Chair
Like I said, Pike - but no fish***.
     Let me introduce you to the post-accident Captain Pike:

Unfortunate chap

     This was a bit of flannel on behalf of the studio as they couldn't get Tab Hunter back.

Unfortunate chap.  Being christened "Tab"

     Now, observe that chair.  Presumably it has a life-support system built in, but the poor chap inside it has only the ability to express himself by sounding the "Beep" button or the "Bleep" button.
     Okay, this is a future where starships travel across the galaxy at multiples of the speed of light, where phaser weapons can convert you into a wisp of Bovril-flavoured vapour, where you can convey people by matter transporter - and the best they can do for the heroic Captain Pike is a two-tone buzzer?
     Cruel, that's what they are!  We're two hundred years behind them and look at what Stephen Hawking has for a chair ...

Oh!  Hello Coincidence.  We Meet Again.
Yesterday, en route to work, a process that takes at least eight minutes and thus allows all sorts of mental mischief to crop up in Conrad's mind, I recalled a toy car that I had many long years ago, a "De Tomaso Mangusta", viz:

- with that colour scheme and gull-wing engine hatches

     Why this popped up into my mind I cannot explain.  It just did.  Accept that and move on.
     Okay, then last night I was looking for bands with names that came from Latin words or phrases (future blog post, perhaps) and I came across "Pantera".  Apparently the band was named after the lead singer's - De Tomaso Pantera.

"Mason And Dixon"
Hmm.  Mr Pynchon threw in three items in a single paragraph that your humble scribe had never heard of before, and I suspect a lot of you won't have, either.
     "Queen of Hungary's Water":  you what?  What makes her H2O so special?
     According to teh interwebz, it was the first alcohol-based perfume.  Who knew!^
     "Shaddock": perhaps the South Canadian readers have heard of this, but not Conrad.  It is a species of large citrus fruit, Citrus Maxima, viz:

Fruity.

     "Spadger": this, apparently, is slang for a sparrow.

Badger.  Close enough

Captain Lazer
Another blast from the late Sixties, this was a Mattel toy that accompanied the Major Matt Mason range of toys.  Time for your close up, Cap:

Not sure about the surname -

     "Captain" - in whose army?  And "LASER" is the correct spelling - more acronyms - "Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation", no "Z" thank you.  "Light Amplification by the ZAPPPP! Emission of Radiation" perhaps?
     That backpack was functional as it held the batteries that allowed the Captain to do this:

It's not just me - this is faintly creepy, isn't it?

     Clearly the Captain is not one to be taken lightly^^ as not only can he zap you with his laser, he can also locate the fuze box if the lights go out, and read in the dark.



* Okay, grovelling over, that was just in case any managers were looking in.
** Conrad is therefore not at risk.
*** Do you see what I did there?  Aren't I clever!
^ Not I.
^^ See?  See?  I am clever!