Conrad Is CROSS!

In Both Senses Of The Word
Literal and poetic, that is.  The literal part is the hot cross bun, which you can't get at any time of the year but Easter, so after going through fourteen recently I've now bought another twelve, that should see the Mansion through till Wednesday at least.
     The anger-management part of "cross" is because Conrad recalled a nursery rhyme about hot cross buns, which drove him to heights of unparallelled rage.
     "How can this be?" I hear you asking.  "For surely you are as sweet of temper as a little old lady with a dozen cats?"  Yes, nice try with the flattery.  I shall elucidate*:

"Hot Cross Buns, Hot Cross Buns"

Really!  This is insulting the intelligence of the listener.  We KNOW the song is about Hot Cross Buns, we are NOT deaf nor mentally deficient, no need to repeat it.

"One A Penny, Two A Penny"

What?  What's going on here?  How many do you get for a penny?  Why does the rate of transaction vary wildly by one hundred per cent?   The Dow Jones and LSE are losing percentage points because of your economic uncertainty!

"Hot Cross Buns"

I KNOW THE RHYME IS ABOUT HOT CROSS BUNS ALREADY!

"If you have no daughters -"

A shockingly cruel allusion to all the couples out there with fertility problems.

"Give them to your sons."

Honestly, these people have no morals, do they?  So, the gender of the recipient determines whether they get first pick, does it?  And again, what about couples who have no offspring by choice?  How do you think this makes them feel?  You monsters!

"One a penny, two a penny"

Stockbrokers across the western world are hurling themselves out of windows because of you, you financial harpies.

"Hot Cross Buns"

Yes yes yes, I pointed this out already - the rhymes not about High-Speed Sausage Making Machines, is it?  WELL IS IT!

The evil of the HXB

Further Of Food
As the saying goes, when you have lemons, you make lemonade.  Conrad is not entirely sure of the applicability of this saw, since if he wants to make lemonade he is most certainly going to buy lemons.  What do you do if you have pulpy bashed bananas?  No, you do not make banana-ade**.

No lemons were harmed in making this cake

      You make Banana Bread instead.  The recipe calls it a "bread" but it's really a cake.  That above is the gluten-free version that Wonder Wifey requested, because if I did that then she'd do this -

     A bake of sorts.  Cauliflower, broccoli, onions, garlic and bacon with a cheese sauce, all done on the "Chuck it in and see if it works" method.  It was jolly tasty, and filling too.  That's teamwork for you.

Conrad Is Happy!
I know I said I was cross but I have the emotional stability of a weathercock in a windstorm.  I have discovered that "FILMS FROM BEYOND THE TIME BARRIER***" has a Facebook page.  Art?

Please note the date

     This blog is the creation of Brian Schuck, and it lovingly details obscure, cult or commercially successful films from the Fifties and Sixties, with genuine critical detail.  Brian puts thought into analysing the films here, and his reviews are well worth reading.  Herein a link to the blog:

http://www.filmsfrombeyond.info/

     The blog itself hasn't been updated since October last year, when previously it had been done regularly <makes sad face> until I discovered yesterday that Brian had continued his reviewing on Facebook <makes happy face>.  Well worth checking out if you have any interest in Fifties & Sixties science-fiction/horror films

X The Unknown, of recent vintage here at BOOJUM!

I Do Apologise, Tom
Quiet Tom, not Noisy Tom.  Damn it, how confusing is it when you have Sophie and Sophie and Liam and Liam and Tom and Tom!
     Anyway <adjusts bow tie, takes deep breath> I refer to Tom's comment to your humble scribe - did I know that there existed a comics character called "Captain Britain"?
     Of course your modest artisan, ever-ready to prove his Anorak Comics Badge, replied "Yes, of course".
     Well I was wrong.  I looked up Captain Britain, who turned out to be someone completely different to the person I was thinking of, to wit:

The Captain.
Foreign evil-doers beware^!

     The chap I was recalling had, I'm sure, a bulldog as a sidekick.  So far he has eluded me on Google, but just you wait, just you wait ...

* "Elucidate - to make things clear" - you'll be lucky <translation courtesy Mister Hand>
** Although this has now got me thinking ...
***  You just have to pronounce it like that, block capitals in an imposing voice
^ Don't worry, France, we're terrific chums now.