What A Waterworld

No!  Not The Fillum
Reality.  This morning, in fact.  I note that my notes* about today's weather begin "Dismal.  No, strike that.  UTTERLY dismal."  Cold, dark, wet and raining heavily.  In fact it was so dark this morning at the bus stop that you could only tell that it was chucking it down when a car drove past, and it's headlights illuminated the submarine gloom.

"Waterworld"?  Pah!  The British would be entirely at home there

     You can imagine the scene circa 200 AD, the Roman fort at Castlegate** and a sentry standing sodden on the ramparts, looking out over the swampy flats of the River Irwell, thinking to himself "What the bloody hell did we invade HERE for?"
     Or, if you wish to be slightly more contemporary, picture an American USAF airbase of the Eighth amidst the fenland of Lincolnshire in 1943, and a solitary sentry standing soaked to the skin, perusing a landscape where the horizon cannot be seen, where the fens appear to have merged together and you cannot tell sea from sky.  "Great.  Just like Louisiana, except cold, grey and no Cajun cooking."
     Wet enough to wade to work, and here is a link to the most appropriate Youtube music I could think of - 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pU00jvfCUJk

Am I clever or what?

"Where Eagles Dare"
 - and the IMDB Goofs list.  This probably says more about your gifted author than he realises, yet he enjoys it immensely.  IMMENSELY I say!  Now up to the 68 minute mark and a lot of what's been written down as "goofs" is, in fact, incorrect drivel***.  Some supposed goofs can be explained away easily with a modicum of imagination, about one-third are smack on the button and the remnants Just Plain Wrong.  Also, Conrad is quite pleased with himself for arranging the whole thing in chronological order.

Conrad, looking pleased.
Or angry.  It can be hard to tell.

     "Proof!" I hear you calling.  "Evidence!  For we are skeptics of the highest order."
     Ooh I thought you'd never ask ...

Smith radios HQ and tells them he is..."effecting entry within the hour." At HQ, Smith's transmission of "Broadsword calling Danny boy" is heard at a significantly faster rate than Smith spoke it into his radio.

This is nonsense!  If we’re hearing the transmission at HQ, by definition we cannot be witnessing the same speech by Smith as we saw him broadcast in the shed.

     Now, I don't think I could post this addendum over on IMDB without upsetting people and getting my registration revoked, so I'll just go right ahead.
     There is an elephant in the room, though.  Shall I continue or are we all Eagled-out today?
     Fair enough.  Tomorrow, then, I threaten promise.

The Mars Volta
Yup, been going through their albums again.  I still think my description of "Bonkers mathcore prog-metal jazzist" is as close to a precise definition of them that you're going to get, especially if you throw in a shot of weird and a soupcon of whimsy.

I don't think anyone on Planet Earth knows what this is about

     "Cause I'll never sleep alone" is a very rare example of a lyric that makes sense, and given that Conrad is regretfully familiar with the lyrics of Yes, this is saying something.

Blog Stats And Tweet
If you must know, I don't really like boasting about the - ah, who am I kidding, I enjoy boasting about it big time.  This week has seen unusually high visits - almost 200 by today - and I only wish I knew what brings visitors!  Also proof that the internet is a 24 hour international thing, there were 28 hits this morning.  At 6:30 a.m.  Which, thanks to timezones, means that some of you are staying up VERY LATE INDEED! on a school night.
     I suppose I should warn you in advance that there won't be a blog next Friday or Saturday as the household is off to Robin Hood's Bay for Darling Daughter's 21st birthday.
     Oh, and here's a comment provided gratis by a reader on Twitter:
@ConradConnolly I have no idea what your twitter page and blogs are all about. But your tweets and wittiness intrigue me. I'm in!
     Take that, Moon - oh, no, sorry, forgot Rules 2 and 3^.
     Conrad, a man with his wits about him.  This is possibly a mistake as they should be in his head, not being worn like a scarf.

The Moon, without a single explosion
(That strange scrunchy sound is Conrad gritting his teeth^^)

* Yes I make notes.  Spontaneous wit takes a lot of planning.
** Conrad worked on the excavations
*** If this phrase sounds oddly familiar, please remember you are reading BOOJUM!
^ Rule 2 - no atom bombs  Rule 3 - no atom-bombing the Moon.  Conrad is trying to avoid the attention of Authority.
^^ Damn, this being Charming not Harming is hard work!