Conrad. Living The Dream

Er - Perhaps That Should Be "His" Dream
After all, your mileage may vary.  Conrad's tastes tend not to chime well with those of others - delicious lime pickle, anyone?  Sauerkraut? mussels pickled in garlic oil?  Cold sardines eaten out of the tin?
     I apologise if you were eating, but hope I made my point.
     "What is your point?" I hear you cry.  "We've got Christmas shopping to do, get on with it!"
     Allow me to illustrate the point:

Sweet!  and yet bitter at the same time*.

     A bottle of beer on a bed of Twinkies.  What more can mortal man ask for?
     A Generic Cornetto, I might add.  I added one to my lunchbag this morning.  Do we have an illustrative picture, Art?

Yes.  Yes we do.

     And then completely forgot about it.  Out of sight, out of mind, and I find my mind is usually pretty undermined, which is a bind*.
     When I came across it again seven hours had passed and I had to eat the ice cream out of it with a spoon, then chew the soggy cardboard cone itself.  To all you out there who wonder - thawed Generic Cornetto is not nice.

Thank You, Facebook
They do get a kick out of posting photographs of your gifted author from a year ago, which he had completely forgotten about as they weren't exactly flattering.  Yesterday's featured me going at a packet of Reece's Pieces in a manner that would cause small children to look away in fear, and anxious adults to move sharp objects out of the way.
     Today's is no better.  Allow me:

"I'm not here - I've gone to China!"

     I would rather say that this is Conrad showing a pot.
     A pot belly, and also a container to make tea in.

How Did We Get Here?
None of your intellectual fluff here, note that I ask "How" and none of that namby-pamby "Why".  By "We" I mean this country, the UK.

Proof I am not making things up

     There are several schools of thought on this matter.  One is that the proto-continents Pangea and Gondwanaland split up and then simple tectonic-plate movement brought us here to the periphery of Europe.  Note how PC Conrad is being here, as in times of old it would be that Europe was off the coast of Great Britain - "Fog in Channel - Continent cut off!" don't you know.
     The next scholium is a social version, one that needs a little background.  After all, the UK does not sit astride continents nor trade routes and in classical times we were best known as a source of tin.
     Tin.  Hardly sets the pulses racing, does it?

Close enough

     Anyway, the reason we now possess a multi-cultural society is down to the British habit of scooting off to other bits of the world and occupying them.  Do the math, as the South Canadians have been know to say.  Would you rather live in a muddy puddle in Cumbria, or somewhere hot and dry and sunny, where the national dish is curry?  Reciprocally, the inhabitants of these lands decide to see where all these long-term tourists come from.  When it comes to refugees we've been taking them in since 1569, although those recently mentioned Syrians headed for Bute are in for a culture shock; as an island in the Atlantic "Cold" and "Wet" are the default weather conditions.

Close enough

     Then again, another scholium holds that we're not an island any more, not since the Channel Tunnel, which itself is an Opus Pacifica*, if you like.  Instead of regarding the French as Public Enemy Number One (Two and Three also when tempers were running high), they are now almost partners.
     Whether in business or crime remains to be seen.

     
Anna The Twilight Vampire
I'm going off the review I read on "The Agony Booth" many a year ago, and Tom's recollections, since he claims he was ambushed into seeing the first one.   Apparently the vampires in Twilight, fittingly described by Degsy as "Twinkly emo elves", give off rainbow glitter when exposed to daylight.
     This is a terrible idea to a man brought up on Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing battling it out in lurid colour!

Just drank all the Irn Bru

     Anyway, Anna was doing it yesterday.  Yes she was!  Since she's a veggie I don't know how she squares away drinking blood, although she might be making do with Irn Bru and cod liver oil tablets.

Despondent Doggeh
This is what a despondent dog looks like. Edna, starved of attention since Wonder Wifey was putting up Christmas Decorations, sought refuge in the Upstair Lair.  

     Oh Dear!  Conrad was busy crafting the blog.
     Blog hog saddens dog.

Oh!  I do apologise for committing a crime that annoys me immensely: quoting a foreign language without translating.  "Opus Pacifica" = "Work of Peace*"



* This is me being really clever.  In my own mind.