And it is harder to maintain than you might think, as Conrad is better known for his childlike enthusiasm about things that go BANG! (Rule number 5 - no gratuitous explosions) or even BANG! (Rule 2 - no atom bombs). I can't even salt the blog with a few pictures of zombies (Rule 1 - no zombies) which will make reviewing "Z Nation" a tad harder. Necessity being the mother of invention, I suppose I could use the word "Zees" and pictures of a post-rave crowd as they're close enough, Dancing Dead if you like, rather than Walkers.
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| This is me being really clever. |
What has returned is an audience - 75 of them so far today, about 3 times the normal blog traffic and not a little worrying for Conrad. You see, I regularly slander and libel both First Bus* and The Metro*, entirely without consequence as in the scheme of things BOOJUM!'s traffic isn't very much. If it increases like it has done today -
Test Driving The Oven
Not literally. Just to be clear. Some of you have odd ideas about what I get up to on my own.
No, I refer to our recently-arrived oven, acquired because it's fascia matches the rest of the kitchen. Apparently it cannot be relied upon to perform properly in terms of which Gas Mark you select, and you need to add another 2 in order to bake properly.
Hay Pesto!
Gluten-free chocolate brownies. A nice solid simple straightforward recipe that had to be done at Mark 6 not Mark 4. Results = a lot of satisfied customers in the office.
Conrad Versus The Mince Pies
No Contest. I don't know if I've been explicit about this, but Conrad loves mince pies. Oh yes indeed.
Picture this - no actually no need for imagination here's a photograph -
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| Within arm's reach |
I didn't finish the last one, just so I could assert with a clear conscience that I didn't eat them all.
CONRAD IS ANGRY!
Yes, yes, I know you regularly see and hear your humble scribe apoplectic with rage about the bus service or meat pies made with too much lard or inaccuracies within works of military history. This anger, however, is directed squarely at myself. For my failings**.
"But - but - how can this be?" I hear you asking. "You, Conrad, so saintly and well-balanced.***"
It's a joint responsibility, shared equally between the Beeb and GCHQ. Oh, and me. If you have a long memory you'll recall that I spent hours - Hot Dog Buns, HOURS! - each day last year on a book of logic puzzles and eventually buried it under a slab of concrete in the yard, before it took over my life.
Since then I have been logic-puzzle free - until yesterday!
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| Damn your sclerotic eyes Auntie |
Arthur Koestler
I did put him forth as a suggested answer for a question at the Pub Quiz, about Analytical Philosophy. All I could remember was the title of one of his works:
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| Probably not a comedy |
The Metro
Cementing it's reputation as gutter-journalism's brightest beacon. If, that is, a beacon can suck light in and replace it with darkness. Maybe even darkness at noon^^?
Allow me to illuminate:
"Bring out the Bollie! Chez will stay put"
This is news? It's not even comprehensible!
They do recover slightly with an article on Elon Musk, one of those people whose name sounds like an anagram. Elon is the billionaire behind Space X, and he seems to have stepped from the very pages of a Robert Heinlein short story of the Fifties. Perhaps even a novel.
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| The unique smell of - |
* Who deserve it
** Yes I have some.
*** Lies. Flattering, but lies.
^ Or assassinate you. One of the two.
^^ You see? You see how everything links to everything else?
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