Inta Wintah

That's Deliberate Mis-Spelling For Hilarious Comic Effect
I thought I'd better get that clear first, as Conrad is well-known for being both a Spelling and Grammar Tyrant.
     Okay.  Now that's settled, we can move on.
     Winter has arrived here in the UK.  This is apparent because Conrad now wears a scarf in the mornings, and goes to bed wearing bedsocks.  This might not seem much to you, yet it indicates that our weather is now not only disgustingly wet, it now comes with the added misery of extra cold.  Yes, Conrad enjoys the cold, IF IT'S NOT WET AS WELL!  
     Sometimes it seems that the only way to distinguish the British Summer from the British Winter is to check out the trees:  if they've got no leaves then it's winter.
     I hear NASA is recruiting astronauts for their planned Mars mission.  How hot is it over there?

You What?
Aaaand the Twits manage it again.  It beats me how these people can continually lower the bar, as it must be practically subterranean by now.  Perhaps they have miners working for them.  Anyway, my ire today was roused by this -

     I know the witless bafoon here present looks simperingly smug at having his "selfie" turned into a cartoon.  This applies to Conrad how, exactly?  One of the benefits of being me is that I don't have to look at this -

     - except for a few minutes in the morning whilst shaving.  Spreading a ghastly caricature of the face above across the internet would probably be sufficient cause for the ICC to get involved.
     Not only that, you have to pay for it - $5 a pop!

My Splendid Human Resource Idea
Which is only partially nicked from "Red Dwarf".
     Some time ago, during one of the ghastly one-to-one performing monkey reviews that we undertake at my Still Coyly Un-named Employer, I suggested that we purchase in an inflatable punching toy, photocopy a bit of integrated circuitry, attach the photocopy to the punching toy and allow people to punch it for 50p a go, when they get frustrated with the technology at work.
     Of course this idea was shot down immediately.  No, before you ask - Health and Safety reasons, apparently.  
     So, Conrad, devious and as insincere as a lawyer, has a substitute.
     Behold the "Frust-o-Bust*":

No moving parts.  No batteries required.  Young children may need supervision

     Here we have my wonderful innovation, which I plan to test tomorrow when our phone application freezes.  Instead of the office hearing Conrad's barely-suppressed rage, and his mouse being pounded so badly that the RSPCA get involved, there will merely be the soft "pop pop pop" of the Frust-o-Bust in action.
     That's the plan.

Auntie Beeb!  You What?
I'm shocked!  Shocked and stunned!
     No, I didn't drop a toaster into the bath whilst also in it.  We don't have a bath - do keep up!
     No, I refer to this staggering headline:

CREAKING SHELVES, you nincompoop!  How could it be any other?  HOW!?

     Dear Auntie, you are talking to a man with a list of over 600 military history books, a man who does not let any bound volume escape from his economy-sized hands once he has acquired them.
     Is there still any point collecting books?  Pshaw!

     
 Hmm, what was that question again?  "Is there still any point collecting books" let me think, let me think -

YES!

Whoah Yeah, "Z Nation" Really Rocking It! - Oh.  Oh Dear
I do apologise for nearly mentioning the "Z word", which has been banned at BOOJUM! under our Charm Offensive rules.  Anyway, we're getting flashbacks to the beginning of the zo - the Zee epidemic, which Conrad doesn't object to, as it features Citizen Z and Sergeant Warren.  Citizen Z -

Mr Z.

is proof, to Conrad's middle-aged mind, that you don't need to be handsome to be attractive, which is consolation in your gifted author's twilight years.  And Sergeant Warren because, in a shallow and superficial way, she is pretty hot. 

He had just complimented her

 Not that you'd say that to her face, as she is rather formidable.  Or, you could say it to her face, just be ready with a carrier bag to collect your teeth in afterwards.

I Say!
In a related link at the bottom of the Wikipedia "Z Nation" article is one that links to an upcoming Syfy mini-series for - "Childhood's End", a novel by Arthur C. Clarke**.
     Conrad read this several years ago and remembers it being what critics call "a real downer", also "quite a bummer" and "if this was music, it would drive you to end it all".
     Perfect!  I shall keep you informed.

The edition I had

*  One of the impedimenta recovered from behind the back of my computer desk.
** The "C" is there to distinguish him from all the other British sci-fi authors called Arthur Clarke.  I  think.