Lovely Fluffy Bunnies! Lovely Fluffy Bunnies!

No Zombies Here!  No Atom Bombs Either
And we definitely have not been atom-bombing the Moon.  No sir.  The Moon has been left in peace to go on quietly mooning in her own way*.

There she is.  Hang on -

     Here's some lovely fluffy bunnies -

Being all adorable 'n' shizzle like that

     "Conrad!" I can hear you say.  "What has provoked such paranoid loon-waffling?"
     Look at this!

Stuff clarity, I'm not moving into the open!

     Not only is the Anonymous White Van back, it's a BIGGER Anonymous White Van.  I suppose this means that the French are in on this, too, and they've sent somebody from DGECE alongside MI5, UNIT, the CIA and the FSB to eavesdrop on your gifted author.  So - 
     Lovely fluffy bunnies!  Lovely fluffy bunnies!

Dog Buns!
If you know anything about your humble scribe, it is that he is a creature of habit.  Set in his ways, Conrad does not like novelty to intrude on his rounds of drinking tea, reading and writing.
     Sadly this was not to be today.  I had to venture into that polyp of Babylon, Oldham Town Centre.  There was a plus to this grim experience -

Deliciousness-in-a-jar

     However, since I didn't get back in until after 2:30, this -

     Pretty obviously this is loose-leaf Darjeeling.  Obviously!  It's the middle of the afternoon so I cannot - obviously! - have English Breakfast Tea.

December Skies
Are gloomy and grey.  I thought this as I waited for the First Bus to not turn up in Oldham Bus Station.
     The evidence:

Buildings in there to give a bit of contrast

     Then I noticed the venue's name: "Candelight", and being bored, pedantic and fond of messing about with words, I decided that it's not named after the light of a candle.  Nope, it's actually called "Can Delight".  I suppose the question is, will it?  You're taking a bit of a gamble going there, frankly.
     Did I mention First Bus not turning up?  I know you must be shocked to your very core at such an astonishing turn of events**.  When the 409 did eventually arrive, we witnessed the full spectrum of events that a punctilious bus driver must carry out before letting passengers onto his bus (after all, they are merely secondary to him, his bus and the diesel it consumes).
     Step One:  Take off hi-vis jacket.  Hang it up.
     Step Two:  Take off First Bus jacket.  Hang it up.
     Step Three:  Adjust seat height.
     Step Four:  Adjust reach of wheel
     Step Five:  Stick a sheet of paper on the window
<Mister Hand moves the article along before people expire from boredom>
     Step Forty-Three: Acknowledge that accumulated human scum are waiting to get on.
     I'm sure each and every one of these are listed in the First Bus Staff Handbook, under the heading "How to be obstructive, unhelpful and late".

Television
Conrad doesn't watch much television, so he likes to report back on what he's seen recently, as he has what might be called a unique perspective***.
     There's another potential instrumental track title for my band, Lift Rock For Idiots, on the Craft Channel: "Vintage Wall Clock Kit".  You could work all sorts of sampled clock sounds onto that one.  Also, why does the programme last half an hour?  Here's a kit, here's the thing assembled, two minutes tops.  Conrad suspects skullduggery.  Or at least more clocks.
     "Evil Under The Sun" then came on, an adaptation of the Agatha Christie novel.  Note the first word, EVIL!  Perhaps I should have coloured it in.  Hang on - "EVIL Under the Sun", except that it's backed by a light, jazzy score, which kind of dilutes the whole "Evil" aspect.  As do the tasteful title sketches, nice evocative water-colours with not even a sniff of nasty about them, let alone evil.

Evil, but under a sunshade

     Conrad confesses he saw this film a couple of months ago and cannot remember a thing about it.  There was a murder, I seem to dimly recall.
     Oh, yes, can't leave without mentioning the peculiar "Mood Magic" candles advert.  These are remote controlled non-melty electrically-powered things that appear to be technology looking for a purpose.

Hot wax^!

Conrad Possibly Overdoing It
Look, they were only 75p for a pack at the Co-Op, so I got two packs and baked them both at the same time.

     Beginning to hit Full but I cannot stop - 3 samosas and 5 pakora still to go!

And before we leave, let me put up another chocolate-box lovely fluffy picture of bunnies 

ART!  I've got my Tazer -

The best we're going to get.

Good evening!



*   This is not a double-entendre, you just have dirty minds
** This is irony.  I-R-O-N-Y.  Just so we're clear.
*** Or, "the viewpoint of a weirdo" as it's also known
^ Am I clever or what.