WAR PIGS!

Today We Have A Theme (Hooray!  Drum Roll!  Balloons!  Rockets!)
Since the furore about You Know Who doing You Know What has diminished to a background noise of comedians making worn jokes, I am delighted to announce that BOOJUM!, for the first time in an age, has a theme.  Which is - "War Pigs".  Not sure what the word count will be on this, so let's fire up the word processor, release Art from his durance in the septic sump* and get creative!

"War Pigs" The Film
This is what triggered my search for a theme, because I'd never heard of it until seeing an advert for the Blue Ray release in the Fly-Swatter.

Alternate version; in another Mickey Rourke is stage front.

     It doesn't score very highly at IMDB - 4.1 - but it doesn't have any great pretentions about being classic cinema either, and one commenter makes the apt criticism that you should disengage brain, acquire a bucket of popcorn and enjoy it for what it is.  Apparently Dolph Lundgren's French accent makes the whole thing worthwhile, and - I have to admit, I'm curious how a Swede manages a French accent**.  The plot, for what it's worth, is about a mission to destroy the V3, a supergun that might tip the balanace -
     Actually the V3 was a giant white elephant that had utterly no effect on the war in Europe, so the War Pigs might as well have stayed home.

"War Pigs" The Song
Ah now, the Black Sabbath song.  From the 1970 album "Paranoid", Art?

Don't ask me, I have no idea what the cover's about

    The song came out of jam sessions performed by the band in the late Sixties and is an anti-war song, which is eminently understandable as it beats you over the head with it's symbolism.
     I'm not going to post all the lyrics, as that would be a cheap way of boosting the word count, but here's the first half:

Generals gathered in their masses,

Just like witches at black masses.

Evil minds that plot destruction,

Sorcerer of death's construction.

In the fields the bodies burning,

As the war machine keeps turning.

Death and hatred to mankind,

Poisoning their brainwashed minds.

Oh lord yeah!

Politicians hide themselves away,

They only started the war.

Why should they go out to fight,

They leave that all to the poor.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VL-kIgmuBk

     And there's a link to the vinyl version over on Facebook, in case you feel there's not enough Doom 'n' Gloom Metal in your life.

I Didn't Know That -
That there's a Hungarian rock band called "Warpigs", who took their name from the Black Sabbath song.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Warpigs_(band)

The link, should you feel, once again, that there's not enough (Hungarian) Doom 'n' Gloom Metal in your life

The 1859 American-British Pig War
Before I started checking up on "War Pigs" I'd not heard of this particular war.  Calling it a "war" is rather presumptuous, as the only casualty was the pig in question, which got shot for trespassing and eating potatoes that belonged to a Brit.  The pig belonged to an American, and the whole thing snowballed from there, until there were warships and cannon and soldiers all present; however both sides had been ordered under no circumstances to fire the first shot.  So they didn't.

"You see!  You see what you did!"

     After tempers cooled, a long and hospitable joint occupation of the San Juan islands took place (this is where the pig was shot, do keep up!), with both sides getting on famously until 1874, when Kaiser Wilhelm judged in favour of the Americans.
     They still put up and take down the British flag on San Juan, so we did get something out of it.

The Austro-Serbian Pig War Of 1906
Ah, now, this one I do remember, from my A Level History.  Again, calling it "war" is to make it sound far too exciting, as there was no warfare.  The Serbs, you see, who did not like the Austrians AT ALL, attempted to build economic and political links with France and Bulgaria, meaning that trade with those countries badly affected Austrian trade.
     In retaliation the Austrians stopped importing Serbia's prime export, pork.  Not to be outdone, the Serbs built up trade links with other countries and didn't suffer from the blockade at all.  So much so that the Austrians gave up in 1908.

"Cevapi" - fine Serbian dining

"Hogs Of War" The Computer Game
Conrad was vaguely aware of this game, and a little light Googling revealed it's existence.  It's a turn-based tactical game where the gamer controls a single hog at a time, from one of six nationalities: Tommy's Trotters, Garlic Grunts, Sow-a-Krauts, Uncle Ham's Hogs, Piggystroika and the Sushi Swine.  I leave it to you to decide which nationalities these are poking fun at.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogs_of_War

     It's a shame I've never played it, as it seems to function as a pun-heavy entertainment quite as much as a computer wargame.

No stereotyping here, no sirree.
Well, actually, yes.  Big time.

"Street Hogs" From "Oink"
Oink, if you really don't know, was a rather anarchic and iconoclastic*** kids comic from the early Eighties.  It parodied various real world people and comic tropes, and one band of bad beefy porky bikers were the "Street Hogs", anthropomorphic biker pigs who waged war on crime.  Art?

The aptly-named Dirty Harry

     War on crime?  Not stretching, am I?  Well, so what, may I gently remind you whose blog it is?

Crikey!  Just over 1,000 words, so much for worrying about how much material this would generate.  I would have included "The Bay of Pigs" if there was more time or fewer words, but what's gone already will have to stand.


* He's been in there so often for so long I'm beginning to suspect he likes it in there.
** He's big but he's no dummy.  Remember, this chap has a Masters Degree in Chemical Engineering.  Wonder what he thinks of Chlorine Triflouride?
*** Like "anarchic" but as regards demolishing holy cows.