As you surely know by now, Conrad is an unreliable witness, narrator and writer, whom you simply cannot rely upon to tell the truth about anything, nor to remain consistent in his inconsistency*. I bet you were anticipating a word that rhymed with "Troi", except not "Poi" as I've used that already.
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| Well - it might be Lutefisk |
Really, what a couple of days it's been. I went to a gig last night, staying in an hotel in Manchester rather than risk First Bus late at night, and of course a dinosaur like Conrad has nothing to do with laptops, so the blog post yesterday was a frank copy of that from 2014 post of 3rd September 2014, posted at mid-day. Not only that, but I've got no Twitter feed at work, so I could only propagandise via Facebook, so the traffic figures today are a bit weak.
Nor is that all. Fate, the muse Terpsichore and Oscar** all combined yesterday to be wildly creative yesterday, when I've got no way of posting.
The evidence:
There's enough stuff there to last for a good three hours typing, except I doubt many people would be willing to read a post 5,000 words long.
Anyway, Back To Lutefisk
Yes I say, Curtis Le May***! I bet you're dying to know what Lutefisk is, and even if you're not, you're still going to get told.
It is Scandinavian for "Lye Fish", "Lye" being what other people call Sodium Hydroxide, a very powerful - and poisonous - bleaching agent. It's predominantly a Swedish dish, although the Norwegians eat it too. The Danes are said to have more sense.
Why the Lye*? As a preservative, which it does an excellent job of. After all, young Sven or Gretel aren't going to nick this from the fridge if they get peckish, are they? No, because it has to be steeped repeatedly for ages to get rid of the lye.
Bitten By The Coincidence Crocodile - AGAIN!
Really, if the Universe has something to say to Conrad, can it not simply send a postcard?There I was, reading "Magic Words", the biography of Alan Moore, with my other novel, "Vineland" by Thomas Pynchon sitting nearby.
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| It's Thomas Pynchon. Reading him upsets the time-space continuum |
Those idiots the Twits have put in a splendid Commonwealth Games-level of stupid as of yesterday and the day before. They don't rate as Olympic Games-level stupid as the Foobs are in hot competition for that title.
You want proof? You got it!
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| Direct your eyes to the mid-left |
Then there's "Hayes Grier" and "Carlos PenaVega" which sounds like it ought to be five separate people, not merely two.
These people really take 2D stupid and give it an exciting 3rd dimension, by which I mean <cont. Page 96>
The second component of today's romp through the fields of arrant idiocy is this:
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| "Attending Southampton Boat Show?" NO! NO I AM NOT! |
Well, of the 17 titles present in my notes, and you can go back and analyse that picture of my notebook, I've covered precisely - 1. Calling it quits for the composing, however, as I need to get this out there in front of people's eyeballs, so we're coming in a little low on the word count^. I know you'll forgive me this as we're such splendid chums.
* Not sure if this makes sense, but it looks good.
** My memory. Because - get this! - because he's so wild. Do you see what I - o you do.
*** An American air-force general. A bit obscure, I grant you, yet it definitely rhymes.
^ By about 40 words.
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