Dr. McCoy - Or Bones - You're Sitting On Stones!

Yes, Yes, I Know Some Hair-Splitting Pedant Will Come Along -
 - and point out that it's actually a rock shelf.  Normally this hair-splitting pedant will be me, except for today I don't feel like criticising myself.  So I shall instead confine my retaliation to point out that the rock shelf is made of stone.  Also, having one of your secondary leads risk his health, not to mention his buttocks, by sitting on a load of pointy rocks is bad for filming.

For once, Kirk doesn't have his paws on the love interest

     Anyway, a rock shelf is close enough to stones, and this Intro is only intended and designed to sucker in vast amounts of blog traffic by being, frankly, clickbait*, so it's work is done and let's move on.

Spongebob Squarepants - The Stage-show
Conrad thoroughly approves as he likes Spongebob, especially Squidward who is a model for the ages, and Patrick is the comic foil par excellence.
     Now, Wonder Wifey ducked out of taking Darling Daughter to see the Spongebob film, which was her loss.  She probably thought it would be ridiculously childish, except it wasn't, it was jolly entertaining and is proof positive that The Hoff** is not at all precious about his image.

Er - yes.  Quite.
Quite what I'm not sure, but - quite

     Now there is going to be a theatrical presentation with musical contributions from fans including David Bowie.  Conrad does not worship at the Temple of David (especially since he recalls "The Laughing Gnome") but does quite like his music, so another tick box of happiness is checked off.

Facebook And Most Used Words
I have used this function a few times in the past, and the most used words tended to be "unsalubrious" "poikilothermic" and "szygy".  I tried at the weekend and again today and got merely this:

     Conrad fears his language and/or vocabulary, perhaps his syntax too, have broken Facebook, even if only just a little.
     Sorry!

"Everest"
Another BOOJUM! film review, inspired by the bus poster.  The obvious pun would be about double-glazing, as the trio of men in the picture appear to be in a rather chilly environment.  However, this is BOOJUM! - that's not an unpleasant surprise, is it? You didn't think this was a Lewis Carroll fansite, did you?  If so please move on! - and we try to avoid the obvious.
     SO!  Not a film I'd care to watch, all about extreme athletes, because they - get this - Neverest***.

They look pretty cool.
Ha!  "Cool"! Do you see what - o you do.

Eden Underwood
Ah, that placid, bucolic East Sussex picture-postcard village, with added demons, white witches, haunted houses and cursed treasures.  To name but a few of it's selling points.  I hasten to add that it's not real^, it's a setting I invented.

Eden Underwood: the village schoolchildren

     In a fit of whimsy - those not interested are requested to read on anyway, I've taken the trouble to write this, the least you can do is read it - Conrad has picked on the number "67" for three separate standalone chapters.  One will be set in 1567, during the Reformation, when the Henge on Blackmere Heath is broken up.  The next is set in 1767, during the Enlightenment, when the cave on the Crag is barred-up.  The last one is set in 1967, during Cambridge University's ill-fated dig.  
     Of course this needs a fair amount of research, which has never stopped your humble scribe.  Once, in pursuit of <Mister Hand intervenes to prevent death-by-boredom>

"The Maze Runner - The Scorch Trials"
Another bus poster review.  Whatever you do, don't mention "The Hunger Games".
     Whoops too late.  Another film franchise that bestirs 0% interest in Conrad, as with THG and Fast and Furious.  You see, Hollywood, sometimes the Suit-Driven Demographically-Propelled Money-Motivated Script Generator simply fails.  Conrad cannot be bothered to even

Another Bus Poster-Inspired Quote
I think I got it down correctly: "Entertainment downloaded instantly on our superfast 4G"
     Call me a dinosaur if you wish, as I confess I cannot make heads or tails of this.  What is "4G"?  As far as Conrad is aware, this is what the pilot of a Typhoon fighter jet would pull if making a sharp turn at Mach 3.
     Answers on a postcard, please, as I've no time for that texting nonsense^^.

A Typhoon breaking the sound barrier.
This is, frankly, showing off.

Welcome To Hell!
Not reallllly sure where this came from, but I did Google for "Methylene Trioxide" this afternoon.  It doesn't exist, although Wiki did come up with an alternative - "Ethylene Oxide" and a description of it's properties.
     Bloody hell!  I've not come across anything so insanely dangerous since the terrifying Chlorine Triflouride, which is so dangerous that Nazi scientists abandoned working with it.  That's some pedigree.
     Anyway, ethylene oxide.  It is flammable, carcinogenic, mutagenic, irritating, an anaesthetic and very very toxic indeed.  

Of course, if you blow up the poison bit is less of a worry

When I write "irritating" I ought to have put "will dissolve your lungs if inhaled".  It's so toxic that by the time you pick up it's bizarrely pleasant smell, you're already a walking dead man.  Oh, and when I said "flammable" I should have put "Breaks down at room temperature into thermally-active salts that trigger explosive detonation".



* I'm so evil.
** David Hasselhoff.  Come on, do keep up!
*** Sorry.
^ Not real, probably.
^^ I did warn you, dinosaur.