Doctor Beverley Crusher - Wears Too Much Blusher!

Well She Does!
You never saw Doctor "Bones" McCoy tarted up with the horrendously titled "Male Grooming Products" i.e. perfumes and makeup for men, did you?  No! Because he was a cool, calm professional. Bev looks like she's going clubbing:

Getting ready to bust some moves.

     Clearly the medical sciences of the 25th Century* are sufficiently advanced that they leave doctors with enough time to arrange elaborate coiffures and spend hours on makeup.  She could be a model.
     Well, no, actually she couldn't be a model as she clearly has curves and is not a human ironing board with eyes.  We shall come back to this.

You didn't ask.  You're going to get told anyway.  One of my problems at the moment is one that I'm fortunate to have - too much material for the blog.  If I were to type it all up it would take until nine o'clock and would be three thousand words long.  Patient as the fans of BOOJUM! are, that's asking a little too much of them.

     On with the motlei!

"Magic Words" By Lance Parkin
This is the biography of Alan Moore, one of comic's biggest names, and biggest frames (he's six foot two with a gigantic beard).  You may not be familiar with his comic writings, although you SHOULD be**, but you are probably familiar with the films "Watchmen" and "V For Vendetta".
     I have come to the dates when "Watchmen" has been a worldwide hit, generating vast sales and equally vast profits, and I am minded of a factual book called "Barbarians at the Gates", about a business empire brought down by greed and egotism.  Still more am I minded of "Words For Pictures", an autobiographical tome by Brian Bendis, the chap behind "Powers".  His wife puts in a short but very effective lecture on the importance of contracts to artists, since they usually hate them and either skim through them or ignore them completely.
     As Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons (the "Watchmen" artist) discovered, if you don't draw up a contract as if your humble entertainment is going to be The Next Big Thing, if or when it does become TNBT, there is going to be a whole lot of septic squabbling about the £££.  Or, more likely, the $$$.
     Like I said, Greed and Egotism.  Probably Hom. Saps defining characteristics.

"Leg end"
Another bus poster-inspired film review, BOOJUM! style.
     One for the fetishists, I believe, as it's all about - feet.  It surely is!  because what do you find at the end of a leg?  A foot!  And there's two Tom Hardy's, so it's about foots plural, or feet.  One might even say the game's afoot***!

These were a legend in their own lifetime

The Metro
Ah me, but tomorrow's bin fodder is pretty desperate for news.
     "Girls just want to have bun" was the title in the still-libellously described "Four Pages" of guilty pleasures.  Apparently Kate Moss coming out of a party with her hair down was deemed worthy of both words and pictures.
     I have two things to say about this:
     1) THIS IS NOT NEWS!
     2)  THIS IS NOT NEWS!
     I realise this is the same point twice, but with intellectual ineffectuals like the editorial staff at The Metro, you have to EMPHASISE.  "Subtle" is an undiscovered country to them.

Great Moss.  Close enough.

THIS IS A VERY VERY BAD IDEA INDEED!
It there were time and space I'd add a couple of hundred exclamation marks after that.
     Why is the news below so horrifying?  Well, this will involve a bit of trumpet-blowing by Conrad, yet because it's in the public interest, it's justified.

"Siberia: scientists to reanimate 30,000 year old virus found in Russian province's permafrost

     Earlier this year I finished the first draft of my manuscript "Revelations" (can't call it a novel until it gets published).  There are some pointers and hints in the text about who caused the outbreak of the virus that turns people into what are effectively zombies, but it's not spelled out.
     Let me spell it out.  The Argentinian Antarctic Mission discovered a meteorite that had been blasted from the surface of Mars, millions of years ago.  Good enough.  When analysed, the meteorite proved to have dormant micro-organisms present in it.  Life from Mars, back when it could support life.  These micro-organisms prove to be utterly deadly to the upper primates, with a 100% fatality rate experienced in all laboratory experiments.
     Far too dangerous to ever have a practical application, the Martian microbes are put aside.  Enter, years later, an extreme right-wing political faction who want the Malvinas back, and what better way than to have the UK collapse into disease-induced anarchy?  Because then a "humanitarian mission/invasion force" can be sent to painlessly re-occupy the islands. So these right-wing idiots set up a stalking horse by bankrolling some equally idiot British Muslims, telling them that the Martian Microbe Mix is actually anthrax.
     What nobody counted on was infected drinks and cartons getting into the supply chain for Gatwick Airport ...

Sixteen Platoon, B Company the Duke of Lancaster's Regiment
Patrolling above Saddleworth on anti-rev ops.

Do Get It Right!
You may be aware of the quite dreadful accident in Rochdale yesterday, with the roof being torn off a bus and a lot of people being injured.  Now, Conrad has just enough conscience not to treat this lightly or make fun of the incident - he's frequently travelled under that very same bridge - but some of the media haven't quite got the hang of this "accuracy" thing.  I give you -

A bus, yes.  A double-decker bus, even, I grant you.

     What a splendid collection of LONDON buses.  You ought to have -

The genuine article.

    Mind you, what can you expect from the Foobs?

Wow, we have hit the 60 minute mark, although some of those have been taken up with popping down to turn the cake around, and also <checks> the 1,000 word mark.  Garrulous old me!


* 22nd, 23rd, who's counting?
** You have 48 hours to buy "Watchmen" and the clock starts now -
*** Sorry