It's Karl Urban - Wearing A Turban!

See?  Nothing To Do With Star Trek
Although, to be frank, it's nothing to do with "Dredd" nor "Lord of the Rings", either.  I suspect it might even be Photo-shopped.

Final judgement rests with you*!

     Well, for the sake of argument we'll assume it really is the real thing.  Nice colour, Karl, matches your eyes.
     Okay, enough Intro, let's move speedily along to -

"Ineluctable"
No!  Not flat-pack furniture from Ikea.  It means "Unavoidable" or "Inevitable".  But from where does it originate?  Not Greek, as Conrad surmised, instead that other language stalwart from the ancient world, Latin.  "In" meaning "not" and "Eluctari" meaning "Struggle Out", combining as "Ineluctabilis" which had adapted by the 17th Century as "Ineluctable".

Yes, it's an Ikea table.
You try symbolising "Ineluctable"!

The Great British Bake Off
Again this is only getting posted days after the event.  If you have been reading the blog for the rest of the week then you ought to know why this is so.  Time and timing, to be succinct.  The remaining bakers at the start were Tamal, Ian, Paul, Flora and Nadiya Anyway, here we go:
     Signature: a bit of a swine, this one - 24 Filled Cream Horns.  The team had to make the puff pastry themselves from scratch, then make it into horns, bake them, then fill them completely.  Conrad avoids puff pastry as it is far easier to buy than make, as everyone found out.  Flora and Nadiya were being a bit experimental, and Hollywood was looking forward to Paul's banana & custard horns.

The fiddly process begins

     End results?  Oh go on then - Tamal's were described as "cracking" and for the non-British amongst you reading this, that is a compliment.  Nadiya also did well all round.  Flora's looked poor - vertically-mounted, a fair amount of filling dripped out - but were delicious.  Paul's werent filled properly and disappointed Hollywood, making Paul a marked man.  Ian's were poor all round with lots and lots of issues.
     Technical: produce 9 Mochatines in 2 hours.  Which is not a lot of time, certainly not when half the instructions or ingredients are missing or extremely vague.  "Combine" instead of "mix dry ingredients thoroughly whilst melting chocolate in a bain marie and combine both slowly with the chopped nuts to help Combine thoroughly not forgetting that speed is of the essence before the chocolate cools again."  Anyway, these were to be Genoa sponge squares, decorated with buttercream and with coffee icing on the top.

An ideal example
I don't know if I've even spelt the name right!

     And in reverse order, from 5th to 1st: Paul, Tamal, Flora, Ian and Nadiya
     Showstopper: A three-tier stack of Religeuse filled with buttercream. In 3 hours.  And the real kicker here was that this structure had to be free-standing, no architectural support at all!
     "Religeuse" are hollow choux rolls.  I've made them once as they are a big fat faff to make, and get et in seconds.  How did our team do?  Well - Paul's bottom tier collapsed, as did Nadiya's, but hers was still better.  Flora's also collapsed at the bottom, but had good piping decoration. Tamal got a "Well done" and Ian got "Well Done Very Good."

"Timberrrrrr!"

     And the bit that ineluctably encapsulates the whole programme - who got Star Baker and who did the walk of humiliation all the way home?

SPOILERS AHOY!

I WARNED YOU!

GET READY FOR - oh let's just get on with it.

Star baker = Nadiya                      Going Home Crying = Paul**

Nike
Typically, those who would read this in the real world***, which is most of you, would instantly think of trainers.  A more specially-trained and educated few would think of the Greek Goddess of Victory, but since this is BOOJUM! we take the path least travelled.  In fact there isn't a path there in the first place and even if you did make one, those trees can move, so it would still disappear.
     Having wandered off the subject matter a trifle* there, Conrad of course refers to the Nike-Hercules Surface to Air missile, viz:

Iconic Sixties SAM

     This straight-out-of-Thunderbirds design was an interceptor that would have been armed with a nuclear warhead, intended to thoroughly Bad Day any enemy bombers trying to sneak into NATO airspace.

"Squirrels"
As seen on the side of a van driving up towards Tandle Hill Park, advertising their gardening and landscaping abilities.  Unfortunately they don't seem to have any internet presence, but at least they are in the right desert.  I mean, gardens and squirrels go together, right?  No need for dinosaurs.

Art!  Really!

* Do you see what I did there?
** Except he didn't actually cry.  Brave chap.
*** As much as we know it to be real and we're not all a dream being dreamt by a sleeper in a different dimension that could blink out of existence any second -