A Man Who's Merry - Courtesy Gene Roddenberry

Here He Is, The Original Hoodie
I speak of course of Jean Luc Picard, who in this iteration looks less "hard" and more "Bard", as in that git from Stratford Upon Avon.

His cap has a tendency to slip.  Nothing to keep in in place, you see ...

     Here is a man with more hair on his chin than on his head.  Courtesy of Q, that meddling superbeing, who could at least have granted him a few filled follicles.  Why inflict Robin Hood on the Enterprise bridge crew?  Well why not!
     Q - also know to the scriptwriters as "Dorothy's Red Shoes".  Impossibly silly plotline?  Ridiculous premise?  Insane character? - wheel on Q without further ado*!

You What?
I had to take a screenshot of this.

The Twits outdo themslves

     What the fnorp is a "Wileyfox"?  Why does it cost £129? - for what appears to be a little black box with a light on.  You can pick one of those up at a car boot sale for 50p.
     I'm not desperate to know, but if you care to enlighten me I'd be obliged.

The Psychological Importance Of Hats
Conrad has pondered on this subject for a while.  Let me fill you in on the story so far ...
     You might remember the Cold War, if you were born before 1991.  During this time the Mighty Red Army was actually a colossus with clay feet, stricken irretrievably with inefficiency, corruption, nepotism, chronically bad equipment, a economy about to collapse and a population only able to cope with Soviet reality by drinking rivers of vodka.
     However, although the Soviets were streets behind the technocratic West and NATO in nearly all fields, they were several city blocks ahead in one respect -
     HATS!
     Consider this:

Makes every private feel like an officer

     Your average Russian conscript wore an IMPRESSIVE GREAT HAT like this, and as the tagline shows, must have boosted their morale to stratospherical levels.

Look at 'em

     All pumped up and ready to take down the eeevil capitalists and all because of HUGE HEADWEAR.

Mind you ...

A Bit Under The Whip Tonight
This is not at all the same as being "on the lash", which I hope to be tomorrow night.  No, the Great British Bake Off begins at 8 o'clock tonight, and I want to enlighten, impress, entertain and educate the world before then.
     What do you mean, "How?"  By posting tonight's BOOJUM!, of course**.
     This was made rather harder because of First Bus.  Sometimes, when I write about this wretched company, this floccullation of evil, this murder of crows, I feel I should take up a burnished platinum sheet, then load my fountain pen with nitric acid, because only then can I convey my hatred and contempt.  And my hatred.  Did I mention my hatred?
     I just managed to catch the 24, having to fight my way on board amidst a gigantic heaving rugby scrum that consists of passengers waiting for 9 buses.  The 24 got a couple of hundred yards up Lever Street -
     - then it broke down.
     Conrad made his way back to the bus stop - another seething public crush endured, and had to catch the 181.
     Wonder of wonders, just before the big events hall, the 182 had broken down.  So we picked up all those passengers, subsequently making the 181 quarter of an hour late.

A First Bus HR Spokesperson replies:
"A little ssssuferring is good for the soul"

Conrad.  All The Pens
No word of a lie.

All the time

"On Thermonuclear War"
My my, this is a complicated work and no mistake.  Once completed I shall have to read it again to make more sense of the early concepts mentioned - "Counterforce as Insurance", for example, and "Finite Deterrent" as these are mentioned later in the text.  
     Currently I'm reading about what might be termed "psi effects", and here we're most emphatically not talking about telepathy or telekinesis or being able to boil sprouts by thinking at them.
     No, what Mister Kahn means is "pounds per square inch" and he's talking about the blast pressure created when one of the Big Bang Bombs goes off.  He starts his examples with 1/2 psi, which sounds pretty feeble, right?  Except that it exceeds hurricane force winds by a factor of 3.  His most extreme psi value is 500 psi, the kind of overpressure required to pulverise a mountain range, one suspects, especially since NORAD sits inside one***.

After that depressing stuff, have a cute Tasmanian Devil

* Bad scriptwriters!  Naughty scriptwriters! No biscuit for you!
** Less cheek or you get a poke in the eye.
*** Cheyenne Mountain.  The "mountain" part gives it away.