It's Brent Spiner - Doing A One-Liner

Okay, Technically It's Data -
 - but once again may I politely remind you that it's my blog.  If you want accuracy, common sense and cool hard logic, you've got the wrong blog.  The "Calculus Is Fun!*" blog is over there.
     Anyway, here we are:

"A man walks into a bar -
- and goes "Ouch!" "

     Ever one to buck the trend, BOOJUM! has chosen this entirely accidental discovery over any of those where Data actually does perform a comic stand-up routine.  Why?  Because we here enjoy being perverse for the sake of it.

ICBM
You could be forgiven for thinking this refers to "Inter Continental Ballistic Missile", especially as I am currently reading "On Thermonuclear War" and am sharing my own shallow thoughts on the text.
     Not today!  Today it's that old standby, "Ice Cream Breakfast Man", and here is the evidence:

Oh the humanity!

   Scandalously overdoing it, here we see Conrad about to dine on three different ice creams - Eton Mess, Peach and a generic Stawberry Cornetto.  Aren't I a rotter!

Ha!  Take That, Critics!
>imagine the sound of Conrad snapping his fingers disdainfully<.  This photograph is going to take a bit of explaining -

- hang on, not had my second litre of tea yet.  Allow me a pause to go and brew a pot -

     Sorry about the delay, took Edna for a walk before the inevitable thunderstorm later on.

No madness, just method

     "The Kensington Battalion" refers to the 22nd Battalion the Royal Fusiliers.  They fought in the 99th Brigade, which was part of the 2nd Division.  The opened book is the second volume of the history of the 2nd Division, and you can just see the page number lower left corner that I've added in.  This was the page number in the original volume, which matters because the Index also refers to these old page numbers, not the new paginated on at the top of the page, which is only 16.  The pink highlighter refers to a footnote, which, thanks to the scanning technology used, appear randomly in the text.  Thus I can look up "Palmer, Lance-Sergeant, Victoria Cross", get the correct page and read the defined footnote, as below.

Sometimes I impress even me

     What I need now is a copy of the first volume of the 2nd Division's history.  A pedant's work is never finished!

"Abrogate"
I do apologise for Oscar, my memory, throwing this word into my consciousness as I trotted into the Mansion's front room.
     What does it mean?  "To repeal a law".  Where does it come from?  You guessed it, Latin, the culprit for so much of our language.  "Ab" meaning "away" and "Rogare" which means "To propose a law", mutating into "Abrogate" by the Renaissance.

The law against Drunken Student Rampages had, obviously, been abrogated.

"Running Wild"
In case you didn't know, this is a television programme featuring Bear Grylls, although to be honest his film crew ought to be recognised as well, since they share all the excitement adventure danger and terror that Bear does.
     Somewhat bizzarely - in Conrad's humble opinion - he has paired up with Kate Winslet to do some extreme activity up in the mountains.  Don't believe me?

Proof!

     I wasn't aware that Kate is an outdoor sporting enthusiast.  I also take it that she is between-films in order to appear with Bear, as the studios would take it rather hard if filming was held up because she'd carelessly gone and died.

Poirot - The Adventure of The Western Star
At first, not having seen this, Conrad wondered if the Star in question was a ship, or perhaps a train?
     Neither!  It is a whacking big diamond, allegedly the sister gem to the Eastern Star.  Now, Conrad knew that there was a con on, and that there was only one diamond, and that Lady Yardley was lying tremendously, although it did take until half an hour had gone by before the details were confirmed.

Dark Star.  Close enough

Indeed.
As you surely know by now, Conrad is no fan of sport.  Thus he was rather annoyed at seeing a poster for Sky Television that boasted it was "Home of the Premier League".

Like this, but different.
And no, I've no idea about the golden lion

     Home?  Only for as long as you keep paying for it, matey.

     Behold, the Spirit of the Premier League**.


Well, as usual the time limit and word limit intervene.  May see you later!




* An utter lie, by the way.
** Yes it's current affairs, so sue me.  I also refer you to the first line of today's blog