Put Your Tongues Back In!
You slavering, dirty-minded lot! I refer, of course, to the lovely Grace Lee Whitney, who graced that obscure cult series "Star Trek" back in the Sixties. The "Rand, Y" part comes because she played the part of Yeoman Rand. I once read that she didn't feature in more episodes because the scriptwriters worried " - a female yeoman might have annoyed Captain Kirk if she was around frequently."
| Are you serious? |
What are -
- the favourite biscuits of the National Institute for Consumer Education?
Hint: it's in the title.
A Little Musical Critique
Normally this inspires a species of muted terror amongst musicians and bands, as the intensely sarcastic, caustic, splenetic and occasionally quite evil eye of Conrad falls upon the lyrics of certain songs. Which are frequently a collection of utter tosh when seen in daylight.
No such evil analysis today! As I have chosen two lines from a song by Eels, and I like Eels - please note not "The Eels", just "Eels" - and they are one of my favourite bands for lo! these - good Lord aloft! - twenty years!
The song is "Grace Kelly Blues", from the album "Daisies of the Galaxy", and here are the lyrics:
"The kid in the mall works at Hotdog On A Stick
His hat is a funny shape, his heart is a brick"
Being a citizen of the UK, Conrad is unfamiliar with the South Canadian entity known as "Hotdog On A Stick", so he did a bit of Google-fu, and - Goodness Gracious! Their hats really are a funny shape, and their work uniforms are surely bordering on Primary Colour Abuse -
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| My eyes! My eyes! |
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EL1WfQuSagg
No need to thank me, ma'am, just doing my job.
DimethylDicarb
Ah, yes, this sounds like a terrifying pterosaur, swooping - oh, sorry, a winged dinosaur - swooping through the steaming primeval jungles of the Cretaceous, armed with a mouth full of teeth like Stanley knives, a wingspan of thirty metres, able to take down a Dimetrodon with a single snap of it's -
Actually, no. None of the above are true. "Dimethyl Dicarbonate" is a rather dull chemical used to help preserve wine.
Sorry.
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| Look! There's two of them, that makes them a "Di-", surely? |
"On Thermonuclear War" By Herman Kahn
Apologies if this either 1) Bores* or 2) Terrifies you. There's a lot left to read in this text, so expect a few pontifications from your humble scribe, possibly until the end of the tax year.
Firstly, as you might expect in a work like this, humour comes only very rarely. However, Herman does manage a rather dry ironic sidenote when discussing what he calls "Type I" and "Type II" Deterrence. He also mentions Labour politician Denis Healy (also known as the best leader the Labour Party never had), who classifies the Type I and Type II as "Passive" and "Active" Defence. Herman begs to differ at this, stating that as he was trained as a physicist and mathematician, he would rather stick with the unambiguous numerical system.
I'm not sure if this counts as being bitten once again on the bum by the Coincidence Hydra, but today's Labour Party leader is going to be wrestling with Trident Fleet Ballistic Submarines. So there.
There's quite a bit more to discuss here, so if you're not keen on Hom. Sap. finding ways to blow up the world, please feel free to go and put the kettle on.
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| Dennis, defining Type I and Type II in an easily-memorised way |
I shall come back to "City Evacuation" tomorrow, if you're lucky**.
An Image Chain
I did work this out on paper, but the challenge is to keep it SFW whilst on the blog.
Okay, the No-No:
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| No Noes |
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| This horror is from the "Teletubbies" |
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| Not one of Mother Nature's finest moments |
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| It's a cartoon, so it's automatically inoffensive, right? |
- and since we've hit the Word Limit +100, it's time to go -
* In which case you are one cool cucumber, dude. In the worst possible way!
** Or unlucky. Your view might vary.
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