The Game Is Afoote

With Apologies To Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
As you should already know by now, Conrad has been assembling his English Civil War figures to see if he can run a game of the "Regiment of Foote" ruleset.  
     It's not looking promising!  Art?

     That's all the infantry and cavalry bases I have, and there's nowhere near enough for the Parliamentary army.  The trouble is that the bases are densely packed with soldiery, in order to look convincingly packed infantry formations.   Which is fine for a ruleset like "Polemos", but definitely not for ROF <sad face>.  I might have to scrap all that paperwork on points and troop quality, and just go for "Forlorn Hope".  I think I have just enough bases to mount a small battle with those rules.  Art?

That very same Pete Berry who makes the ECW 6mm figures I have

     For your information, a "Forlorn Hope" was a small body of soldiery sent out ahead of their main body, with the intent of kicking things off, and whose chances of survival were not, let's be honest, that great.
     The other alternative, which would involve a lot of time and money, would be to buy hundreds of 6 mm ECW figures, paint them and then base them up for ROF.
     One to ponder on!
     Motley, what did you think about being poked with pikes?  You're glad they were long dead because they had a lot of sharp teeth.  Yes, wise motley.

" - then it ate him."

I Love The Taste Of Napalm In The Morning
Nothing else quite gets the digestive juices flowing like some jellied petrol.  I have discovered a handy substitute, however, which is all to the best, fuel prices being what they are, and kitchens being full of flammable substances (and puny humans).  Art?

     This assemblage of goodies came from Cut Price Barry's, who supplies - er - well, stuff, at a - price that is cut from the norm?  The clue is in the name.  So, a nod of the head and a tug of the forelock to Wonder Wifey, who ordered all this stuff.  Given that there's a whole lot of sugar in those Deglet Dates, and the bagged sweets, I shall have to be sparing in my consumption, as collapsing in a coma can cause domestic concerns.
     Anyway, the napalm substitute; look no further than those Wasabi Peanuts.  I tried three of them and JOSEF STALIN ON A PETROL-POWERED POGO STICK!! these things are horrifyingly hot.  I shall be sparing in my consumption of these, too.  A note of caution to Wonder Wifey and Degsy - don't try them, you will simply end up spitting them out onto the carpet.

CAUTION!  Second-degree burns to the tongue can affect your comprehensibility

More Of The Cyclops
You may not know it, but back in the dawns of time, pygmy elephants were known to wander across the Mediterranean lands.  By the time Hellenic civilisation arrived on the scene the little tuskers were long gone, but they did leave behind their skeletal remains, which the curious Greeks were intrigued by.  They compared dead pygmy elephant skull with those of Hom. Sap. and - Art?

 - Cyclops was born!

     They misinterpreted that cavity, where the trunk began, as an enormous eye socket, and thus you have Polyphemus, whom we have been going on about at length recently.  I think this is all the subject matter I can squeeze out of cyclopses (plural of cyclops?) though I can't swear to it, so you may get more of uniocular stupids.

     And now for -

Conrad Is Extraordinarily Cross!
I mean, really!  I know this coronavirus is one of the biggest challenges to Hom. Sap. since the Second Unpleasantness, but it simply isn't on that standards can be let slip in such a shoddy manner <Mister Hand redacts several A4 pages of seething invective> the queue.
     So, when I got home I perused the Manchester Evening News (a tabloid native to these climes) from cover to cover and - excuse me whilst the vein in my temple slows it's throbbing - NO CROSSWORDS!  Not one, nor the Codeword, nor the Gogen or any puzzles at all.  I only buy the wretched rag for the puzzles, certainly not for the "news".

This is me, looking cross*.

Meanwhile, Across The Other Side Of Europe ...
Or, if you like, how Poland Pinched Prussian Pantechnicons.
     I bet you didn't know that the Poles have "Seven Wonders Of Poland", did you?  They have to assert themselves more than most, being as how they sit between what have been called "The Eastern Bully" and "The Western Bully".  
     Anyway, back in the nineteenth century the Prussians built a long series of canals they dubbed the "Elblag Canal", which - as is frequently the case with canals - had to accommodate a significant difference in height over distance.  Rather than go for the conventional answer of a lock system, the Prussians opted for an arrangement of four inclined planes.  Art?

One of the planes in action

     As you can see, they used a series of cradles to carry barges and boats up and down the planes, usually a boat going up counterbalancing a boat going down.  At the time it was all in the service of freight transport and industry.

Not now

     Currently it's all in the service of tourism, with Poles happily mucking about on the water (and, in the case of the inclined planes, off it, too).  They inherited the whole lot after the Second Unpleasantness, when borders got moved around a lot.  Art?


     Once they reach the top of the plane there's a short descent down a shallow slope, the better to keep water in the canal, rather than risk it slopping about everywhere.  And it was the Poles who voted to make it one of their Seven Wonders, probably as a bit of a thumbing-their-noses at their Teuton neighbours.  It does look jolly amusing and picturesque, though, doesn't it?  Art!

Wheeee!

Finally -
I don't think I need to add anything in here, as we're already at the Compositional Ton, except to say that we need to address some Deadly Danger! soon, otherwise life will become a stifling round of ennui.

This kind of thing.

*  Yes, I know it looks exactly the same as me looking perfectly normal.  I can't help my face.