I am here, in disguise, plotting to take over your world so that my foot-dragging comrades in the starship invasion fleet (and they have been dragging their pedal extremities, no question about it, the slackers) can land and back me up.
It's a good question but you ought to be wondering about humanity, matey. |
Given your species' inherent stupidity, this is not a given.
We have recently mocked the FiveGees, who frankly need all the invective possible ladled o'er them, the bumbletucks. Art?
It looks like a cheap alien from Seventies 'Doctor Who' |
You get the picture.
CAUTION! A Faraday-shielded bed is a Red Flag in any potential relationship! |
I am assured this is a 4G phone. |
If you cast your mind back last year, then you'll remember an analogous situation about Area 51. There were two million people in the "Storm Area 51" social media group. Yet how many turned up? A hundred and fifty, or one for every ten thousand "Hell yeah I'm going gonna smash the system up unless Mom locks me in the basement again".
Let me confirm your fellow human's rashness. Extremely heavy rains bring flooding, right? Okay, check this picture out. Art!
Okay, Vulnavia, spot the boat. |
Once more: this is not a boat |
Please, be careful, look after yourselves now that the rains are back, and ensure you and your offspring live to become mindlessly enslaved drone minions**!
Breaking Off Is Hard To Do
For Lo! we are back to frangible street architecture, as I did threaten. I have a couple of stills from "Practical Engineering" that illustrate a point well. Art?
Behold and beware |
This is why frangibles exist. Art?
Here a street sign's support strut breaks at ground level, where it has a built-in junction designed to break apart in case of a high-speed impact. The car involved might have big dents and scratches, but it won't be cloven in twain (that L&L article I mentioned yesteryon was being ingenuous; the street-light being described was merely intended to break at the base, not fly over the car that hit it).
As someone I know in passing has remarked once or twice - human beings, quite my favourite species!
That's a lot of words. Let's have something short and pithy. Ah! Speaking of poles -
Pierogi
I think that's how it's spelled, and since the translated recipe instructions are downstairs in the kitchen and I'm up here in my Sekrit Layr, my guessing will have to do.
The word is Polish, and means "Dumplings". Art?
And here are the two I made last night. Conrad suspects he didn't make the pastry correctly, as it was pretty much shortbread. The contents were a bit dry, too, which comes of having made it days before.
All in all, a qualified success. The thing is, I now have buckets of filling left over. Lunch ahoy!
A Picture Of Disappointment
But first, back to that Rolling Stone list of the 50 Best Sci-Fi Series On Television Ever. And no, Vulnavia, you will never, ever see "Galactica 80" on that list, in case you were wondering.
We are now down to, or up to, depending on your perspective, Number 35, and "V". Art?
My Edition |
O. No, it wasn't a television series of the novel. Instead we got -
This |
Do you want a precis? O go on then. Friendly smiling aliens <never EVER to be trusted> come to Earth and want our water, except beneath their attractive human faces lie an evil reptilianoid dictatorship. They seize power, and only a gallant band of human resistance fighters can possibly defeat them! Notable for one of the attractively human-faced alien leaders, Diana, enlarging her jaw in order to eat a rat whole. Art?
I think it was live. Fresher that way, you see |
Finally -
We've had enough of Conrad yarking and barking and mocking and <tries to think of an insulting work that rhymes with "Mocking", fails, weeps into coffee> shocking? I guess I haven't been very shocking - aha! I can remedy that. Art?
How to scare cats the Paul Pogba way! |
He's vanished! Vanished utterly - can you spot him? |
There you go, utterly shocking, Conrad pronouncing on the ballfoot game!
Are we done yet? We are? Spiffing!
* Unless it's a Schwimmwagen.
** Readers of BOOJUM! are automatically let off.
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