Conrad: Not An Ornithologist

Yes, This Is A Complaint About That "Collins Big Book Of Crosswords"
I am up to Number 81, for your information, where the clue that I couldn't get was "North American game Bird (8)" and it began with "B" and ended with "E".  I bet you'd never get it, either.  So I weakened and looked up the solution.  And the answer?
     "BOBWHITE". 
     <ahem>

WHAT ARE THEY PLAYING AT!  WHO, AMONGST A READERSHIP LIVING ALMOST EXCLUSIVELY IN THE U.K. WOULD KNOW THE NAME OF AN OBSCURE SOUTH CANADIAN BIRD THAT I BET YOU CAN'T EVEN EAT!!

     There, I feel better.

     Art?  Get on the case.  NOW!

A Bobwhite

     I hope you notice the little sucker's more brown that white, and quite as much black as white.  Technically it's name is a "Bobwhite quail" and believe me if one were in front of me right now O! how it would quail.
     And another thing.  Another answer was "STYMIE" which as you ought to know is South Canadian argot, not honest British language.  Who's compiling these crosswords anyway?  Someone on a Rhodes scholarship?
     Bah!

Roads scholar.  Close enough

Where Are You, Albert, When We Need You?
I refer to that paragon of intellectual achievement, Albert Einstein, the poster chap for "Genius", and his quote "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has limits" which is peculiarly apt for today.
     "What is he going on about now?" I hear you quibble.  "It surely can't be another crossword, can it? Or did the top fall off the salt cellar when he shook it over his chips?"
    Neither.  I refer to a bizarre conspiracy theory - okay, all of them are pretty bizarre, especially the one that insists Finland doesn't exist - that has deeply worrying real world implications: that 5G causes/creates/transmits Covid-19 consipiracy theory.

What's wrong with this picture?

     Conrad does sometimes despair of Hom. Sap.  Given how surpassingly stupid you can be, you might well wipe yourselves out by the time my starship invasion fleet gets here.  I mean, the idea that mobile phone technology has anything to do with affecting virology, pandemics, immunology, human pathology, sterile medical procedure, the insane acceptance of "Strictly Come Dancing" as a real thing*, herd immunity, epidemiology - this is Facepalming-a-Facepalm level stuff.

This is not a virus.  It bears repeating:  THIS IS NOT A VIRUS
(Though it can kill you.  By falling on top of you)

     On top of all that, as Your Humble Scribe has about 0.001% interest in the Devil's Digital Devices, he is not altogether sure exactly what "5G" is, and what was wrong with the other 4 Gs that came before it?  Answers in the Comments, thank you.

We Have Been Here Before
I know because I had a suspicion and checked.  I'm talking about subject matter, not time travel, and specifically the "Baluchitherium".  In fact I even posted on Facebook as to where this name comes from, as there is a region in the East called "Baluchistan".  It is split between Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iran and the locals rise up in arms every so often against their respective governments, which seems to be a regional tradition.  Art?

Baluchs in effete pink.  They're not going to be happy about that, cartographer.

      Anyway, way back in the nineteenth century the partial fossil remains of an enormous extinct mammal were discovered in Baluchistan, hence the name "Creature of Baluchistan".  To date it is the largest land mammal that ever existed.  Art?

Ol' Bally, with puny humans for scale

     This immense beast was an herbivore, so you didn't need to worry about it gobbling you up for dinner if you happened to be one of Hom. Sap's primate ancestors.  However, if it's attention was elsewhere and it stepped on you, all that would be left would be a puddle of goo.  Given it's immense size, there was very little out there that could have eaten it, except Godzilla.  
     One thing that no palaeontologist has discussed is the aftermath of it's browsing on leaves and shrubs; plainly it's daily needs for same would have been immense, which means - I shall put this as delicately as I can - what came out the end opposite the mouth must have been equally epic.

Beware behind!

     If there had been human farmers around 4 million years ago, it would indeed have been a good eon for the roses.

Pop palaeontologist?

Who Would Have Thought It?
If you have been following the blog of late, then you know Conrad has found another tranche of major civil engineering works to enthuse over: ship and boat lifts.  Whilst there are only 2 functional ones in This Sceptred Isle, there are lots around the world, and we've looked at those in Belgium and Ruffia.
     There is, however, still another civil engineering methodology that has been used to transport canal and riverine traffic between bodies of water at differing levels: the inclined plane.  Art?


     I shan't go into any detail today, as this new and novel engineering concept needs a bit of background research, but once we run out of ship and boat lifts, you can bet your bottom shekel we'll be looking at inclined planes!

A very inclined plane

Whaddon Earth Is Going On?
NO!  That is a pun, not a spelling mistake.  Really, after all these years, you can't tell the difference?  O my, your descendants are going to have a terrible time when I take over.
     To what do I refer?  Why, none other than a film clip that the BBC put up on their website, taken at Whaddon Hall, depicting various people in and out of uniform, playing the ballfoot game, speaking soundlessly to camera, all very innocuous.
     EXCEPT NOT!  NOT AT ALL INNOCUOUS!!  Art?

Whaddon Hall

     Because, you see, Whaddon Hall was an outreach station of Bletchley Park, involved in the transmission of Ultra intelligence to senior officers of the British army in the field.  It  goes without saying (so I shall say it) that this place, all the work done there, and the people therein, were all Above Top Secret.  NO FILMING ALLOWED!  Since the film the Beeb featured was sent in anonymously to Bletchley Park's museum, we don't know the provenance; Conrad suspects it may have been taken after VE Day, when spirits and laws were both lifted above the norm.
     Allow me.  Art?

     These are still photographs from the film, taken from an entirely different newpaper website, because the Whaddon Hall item has completely vanished from the Beeb's website.  Isn't that ever so peculiar?

     And with that, we are ever so done!  Pip pip!


* Just testing.