Which, if you remember, was centre stage at the end of 1915, when the British Expeditionary Force was making a big bid to hammer home the concept that whilst we had the world's biggest navy, we could wield a pretty mean land army, too. Look it up as part of the Battle of Loos - and thanks to being SFW we are NOT going there.
 |
| Note the pit-head winding gear dubbed "Tower Bridge" |
"How very typical!" I hear you fume. "Going into detail about what today is not about."
Get used to it. Incidentally, are you familiar with the etymological root of "Flume"? I guessed not. As you ought to be aware, lest you suddenly be conscripted into an emergency lumberjack team, a flume is an artificial channel through which water runs, the better to shift shizzle. Art?
 |
| The sort you are probably more familiar with |
Where was I?
O yes. The Hubble Space Telescope is now 30 years old, and it wasn't expected to be up there this long, since the James Webb Space Telescope is taking so long to get into service. If you have an especially long and venomous memory - like Conrad - then you will recall all the stand-up comedians getting a cheap laugh out of one the Hubble cameras having developed a fault. O my! how they laughed. The thing is, "comedians", Hubble has been gallantly serving away in orbit for three decades (it got fixed); and how long did your careers last?
 |
| A true star and a wizard* |
 |
| The "Pillars of Creation" in the Eagle Nebula |
Motley, standing on the roof with your two-inch Schmidt is not going to give you Hubble-quality pictures. And watch your footing, those slates are -
Oooops!
 |
| It's great at stopping MI5 snooping around on your roof. |
The Madness Continues - We Continue Our Little Musical Critique
If you remember AND YOU OUGHT TO we were analysing the lyrics to The Associates BECAUSE IT WILL KEEP YOUR DESCENDANTS OUT OF THE URANIUM MINES IS WHY "Nude Spoons", which seems rather an oxymoron in Your Humble Scribe's eyes, for are not all spoons nude by default? Anyway, let us recommence -
I found a coin and washed away the silt
Ah, now this is more rational.
I found a shiny coin
No, you found a dirty coin that you cleaned. You just told us that.
A coin whose head was slightly to the tilt
That's because you're not holding it properly!
Who'd leave it there in there in silt
Someone both careless and amnesiac?
 |
| No, Ebeneezer, not you. Just keep eating your delicious gruel. |
It skimmed itself into the silvery Tay
I rather suspect there was a human agency involved in this coin's motion, matey
Deep into the Tay
Well of course! Coins are not known for being very bouyant.
It's aging happening silvery in the Tay
You are making a presumption here. A fish may have swallowed it. Or Smeagol might have got his hot sweaty grabbers on it.
 |
| You can try taking that off him. |
Is it still there today with nude spoons euphoria?
NO! Because there are no euphoric spoons, naked or dressed.
It lies there with nude spoons euphoria
IT DOES NOT! NOT NOT NOT!
<pause to let the red mists recede from vision> I don't know; is this "Nude spoons euphoria" some kind of coded drug reference? because it really makes no sense. I know rock and roll is supposed to be about youthful rebellion against authority, but this sound like rebellion against sanity.
 |
| The Tay. (It's a river) |
The Stupid! It Burns!
Literally, in several cases. Conrad refers, of course, to those swivel-eyed loonwaffling bumbletucks who have somehow bought into the "Coronavirus is caused by 5G transmitter towers", and whom probably dare not venture out of their houses without a sturdy tinfoil hat, secured with an elastic band (in case of wind). Art?
 |
| They were careful to use short words, eh? |
"5G WIFI IS BAO" apparently. Who knew! One can only wonder what they think of Cray supercomputers or the Large Hadron Collider; Conrad suspects they avoid thinking about them at all, or their brains would experience Default Seizure Mode. You can imagine how stunted human civilisation would be if these bafoons were responsible for culture, invention and artistry. Picture the scene some 50,000 years ago -
ARBUTHNOT THE INVENTOR (Go on, prove people weren't called "Arbuthnot" 50,000 years ago): What ho, Gog, old bean, look what I've invented!
GOG <suspiciously>: What is it?
ARBUTH- (Okay, we'll just call him Arbie, right?): Fire!
GOG <getting a little closer but still frowning>: What is it good for?
ARBIE: Well, we can now stay warm at night and all throughout winter, thanks to fire.
GOG: Can you eat it?
ARBIE: No, but you can use it to cook meat. No more raw woolly mammoth! Just think of that -
GOG: Keeping warm, honestly, you'll turn us all soft. And raw mammoth meat builds character. And jaw muscles.
ARBIE: Fire will scare off the sabre-toothed tigers.
GOG <Sticks hand into flames>: EEEAAGH! Your red-and-yellow pet bit me! <rushes off>
ARBIE: Well, that could have gone better. Oh - what -
GOG <returning with friends and family>: KILL THE FIRE! KILL THE EVIL FIRE! THE EVIL FIRE MUST DIE! <They variously stamp, punch and jump on the flames> THE EVIL FIRE HAS BEEN SLAIN! ALL HAIL GOG THE HERO! <they leave with Gog held high>
ARBIE: Blimey. What are they going to make of - this! <he whips a mammoth hide away from an artefact, revealing -> A Wheel!
| The source of all the world's misfortune |
This did trigger another association, which will have to wait until tomorrow. You can have too much excitement in one day.
Finally -
Okay, Al - you reckon "Each step is the inevitable consequence of the preceding one", don't you? What about cyclists, hmmm? You left them out, didn't you!
Hah!
* Todd Rungren in-joke for you there.
** "Comedians" I'm a-looking at you.
 |
| I've got him worried, you can tell |
* Todd Rungren in-joke for you there.
** "Comedians" I'm a-looking at you.
No comments:
Post a Comment