Eye Eye Eye

You'll See What I Did There Shortly

<chortles maliciously to self>

You ought to remember that yesteryon I was banging on about a horror book cover, namely "Polyphemus", and because I know my Greek mythology, I pointed out that Polyphemus is a cyclops.  Art?  Illustration, please.

Do I need to point out which is Polly?

     Polyphemus was spectacularly stupid, as I recall; Odysseus lied to him and informed the cyclops that his name was "Nobody", so that when Odysseus and his men blinded him and his fellow cyclops were gently enquiring  why all the fuss, Polyphemus replied "Nobody".  His equally dim cohorts took this at face value, shrugged, probably wondering if he'd stepped barefoot on a piece of Lego again and went back to having people for dinner.

     What do I spot in Crossword number 100 in my birthday present Collins Crossword Collection from 2019?  Art!

 

"One-eyed giant" the clue

     This is the kind of thing that worries me.  Today, a cyclops.  Tomorrow - who knows what will be revealed?

     Now, hopefully, you get how hilarious today's title is.

     Motley!  Put on this eyepatch and go "Arrrrr, Jim lad!"  Not a cyclops but it'll do until  one comes along.

Practicing For World Domination

It doesn't come naturally, you know.  Why, the things you have to learn -

     Well, here's some feedback on the wargame I have been attempting to set up tonight.  Art?

     That's an Early War Royalist Army to port, with the Generals, skirmishers and cannon for the Parliamentary Army set up to starboard.

     Well, I have discovered that these figures are based for "Polemos", as you can see they are densely packed, and the bases have both pike and musket on them.  This clashes with the "Regiment of Foote" rules, which need separate pike or musket bases, so I am going to have to use a sticker to denote which are pike and which are muskets.

These are pikemen

     Pikemen were there to keep enemy cavalry away, and also to indulge in a "push of pike" with the opposition when things got to close quarters, which is like having the world's biggest and most evil pin cushion attacking you.

     Given that the bases are rather packed, I've only just got enough of them for two forces; as I recall playing this many years ago, my figures were spread across an awful lot more bases.  However, I am not unbasing and rebasing them again, given how long it takes.  Besides, I might give "Polemos" or "Forlorn Hope" another go.

Peter Berry's Baccus 6 mm English Civil War figures

     I guess this is why the evening whizzed past me tonight; working out which of Lord Cheriton's charger cavalry are Veteran or only Trained does eat up the time, rather.

You What?

Conrad checks the BBC website regularly to see what kind of trainwreck is occurring across This Sceptred Isle, and has noticed that the Covid-19 impact has their webpage being shorter than usual.  Not a bad thing, they do end up reaching for content to fill up the spaces at times.  Take the following, for example - Art?

     Your Humble Scribe was unaware they had broken up in the first place.  Nor do I feel my life is any poorer for that lack of information.  One Direction?  Yes, please - away from me*.

     I wonder what they make of bagpipes in the land of the Ruffians?  Just curious.  I wonder if a Scottish pipe band in full Highland regalia has ever marched through the streets of Moscow?  That would get tongues a-wagging.

It has happened!  Proof!

     Hhrmmph.  I see the weather is being ironically pleasant.  "Yes, look at all this lovely bright sunshine THAT YOU CANNOT ENJOY."  

     Sorry, where were we?  O yes -

"Retro Monsters Of Sci-Fi"

Here we address one that Conrad is familiar with at second hand.  You see, back in the day when he bought paperback sci-fi books, there were frequently a few pages of blurbs advertising other sci-fi books after the body of the novel, and one series he remembers was about micro-miniaturised humans involved in espionage - "Killer Pine" and "Cold War In A Country Garden" being two of the titles**.  One of the authors was Kate Wilhelm, and the other wasn't.  Art?

Oh.  Er - bad memory!  Naughty memory!  No biscuit for memory!

     <sigh> okay.  But I do remember one title being called "The Killing Thing" and it was by Kate Wilhelm and I've got a picture to prove it and everything - Art?

At last it can be told -

     There was never any blurb about what this novel was about, which kind of piqued my interest.  The story, from folks over at Goodreads, isn't anything special and is very Of It's Time (late Sixties) and I would have been better living in blissfully ill-informed ignorance, frankly: essentially guy is hunted by killer robot on a desert planet and both come to a sticky end.  The end.

"Freytag Loringhoven"

Another of those phrases that pop up in my mind for no good reason.  At a guess you might think this chap was a contemporary of young Einstein, who came up with the now reviled theory of "The Universe as made of cheese" back in 1894.  Or something.  The "Freytag Loringhoven reciprocating steam treadle", perhaps, which threatened to displace the internal combustion engine until people realised how rubbish an engine that weighed in excess of seven tons would be?

The refined second prototype

     Neither of these flights of fancy are even close to the truth.  Bernd Freiherr Freytag Von Loringhoven was a typical sprig of the Prussian aristocracy, except he lived in Estonia, and when the Estonians got independence, he (and his family) got the heave-ho, and settled in Germany.  He is best known for being around during the Gotterdamerung times in Berlin, creating situation reports for Herr Schickelgruber as the Sinisters closed in, before fleeing west so he could be captured by the nice civilised Brits.  Art?

Doubtless pondering on mighty steam engines and cheese.

     I've doubtless encountered his name in my numerous readings about the Second Unpleasantness, though once again Why? his name suddenly popped into my head at 08:03 of a bright sunny morning is a moot point.

Finally -

What price idiosyncratic handwriting?  One pauses for a second or two to feel pity for James Holland as he tries to interpret the longhand scrawl of Stanley Christopherson's wartime diaries, until you recollect that Ol' Jim is single-handedly taking over the whole oeuvre of military history.  He reproduces Stan's description of "Beaufort" anti-aircraft guns, when - obviously! - the word is "Bofors".  Art?

A gun de la Bofors

     Likewise -

See where I'm coming from?

Chin chin, chaps!  Because with that recourse to spelling from the original spelling martinet, we are done.

A Martinet

*  You may not have realised, but I am a massive bigot about my music.  Yes, really!

**  Ain't my memory impressive?