Over Here, Muse

I Did Caution You Not To Expect This -
But since when was I a reliable witness?  Today has been my Saturday, as it were, since I am working on The Real Saturday, thus Thursday has been my day off.  Working on The Real Saturday doesn't pose the inconvenience it did when I had to be in the office for a 09:00 start, thanks to working from home.  Art?

"Here we see one of First's brand-new buses, fitted with all the latest conveniences."

     I had to get up at 06:50 to ensure I got to the bus stop in time for that above, if it turned up on time or at all, and then get into the bus station, usually delayed thanks to people trying to pay for a weekly bus pass with 1,700 one-pence coins.  Inevitably, one of them was a Lithuanian litas coin, so the passenger had to pop home to get a one-pence coin as a replacement - you get the idea.

The culprit.

     Then it was a long journey into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell, and a ten-minute walk from the bus stop in order to get into the office at 08:30.  This gave me time to brew a pot of tea and toast some bread.  This was back when you could just pop into a convenience store on the way in and purchase a wholemeal loaf if the insane desire to shop came over you.
     Tomorrow all I need to do is roll out of bed at 08:45 to brew that pot and toast that bread.  Plus, when I finish at 17:00, I can be home for 17:00:01, rather than 18:45.  
     And now - a high-speed industrial CNC lathe!

Because we can.

     Motley, do you think that item got across the fact that there's only going to be one post tomorrow?  You do?  O good.

An Alcohol You Cannot Drink
That is to say, you humans cannot drink it.  Or you could drink it once, and then never again, as being dead makes imbibition difficult.
     For Lo! we are back with Your Daily Dose Of Dangerous, and we have moved along the alphabet to:
Allyl Alcohol.    Art?

Yeah, amongst other things

     I should say this stuff's bothersome!  It is extremely flammable both as a liquid (it's natural state) and a vapour; it will kill you deadly if you were rash enough to drink it - see above for cautionary note - and it will kill you if absorbed through the skin.  It is also a lachrymator, or in normal language it will make your eyes run like taps, causing temporary blindness.  Don't worry about that, however, as it is so toxic you'll be dead if you breathe the vapours in long before your impaired vision is an issue.
     This chemical doesn't merely exist in order to make life difficult; it has specialised uses in creating plastics and also helps to prevent that below -

R. J. MacReady was here.

     So now you know.

     Careful now!  I can see one of those chiselling steam locomotives trying to sneak onto the blog.  Excuse me - Art?

CLEAR OFF!

     It's okay, I placed demolition charges just this side of the bridge.  They'd be ill-advised to try and get any closer.  Pikers.

     Where were we?  O yes - a moment's silence for the absence of Pub Quiz tonight.  And I've been doing loads of wordy puzzles to keep my wits sharp.  I might not see the inside of the Pleasant Inn for another 6 weeks - how will I cope?

My staple response - with a bucket of gin.

Conrad Has Been Busy Baking
I've not felt the urge to bake anything for an age.  The cynical and suspicious would allege that, now I've been made permanent at the office, I don't need to curry the favour I did as a temp.  Perhaps, perhaps, but as we already know Conrad is a hopelessly impractical old duffer with sausage fingers, whose only moderate ability is either crafting words or slinging batter in the oven.  Art?

Dear Co-Op, this is what you're missing, yah booh sucks.
(Also, gluten-free)

     This is Banana Bread, more a kind of tea-bread than a cake, even if you can eat it with or without butter.  The reason it got baked is because Wonder Wifey suggested baking something as I was off all day today, and we have enough bananas to do so.  I use one banana less than the recipe calls for, and 4oz. more of self-raising flour, as I find four bananas gives a somewhat rubbery end texture.  Doubtless the house gannets will be testing and tasting later tonight.

The raw materials

     It also used up some of the 34 eggs we had at close of Weekly Shop yesterday.  I bought two cartons in Iceland and, having forgotten this, bought another 12 in Morrisons, for 24 total in addition to the 10 already stooging around in the fridge.  Don't worry, they will get et - Conrad loves him some egg toasties.

     Suddenly!  A Hawker Typhoon low-level rocket attack took place!

     Because I suddenly realised I was blogging about buying eggs.  Sorry.

Finally -
We only need a short article to hit the Compositional Ton, so I shall regale you with one of the r/AskReddit "School Pranks" stories I read yesterday.  This takes place at a South Canadian High School, which are infested with teens between fourteen and eighteen, and who ought to know better.
     Anyway, someone at this school drove an old, extremely-beat up car, whose doors didn't lock.  

Thus

     The chavvish knaves at this educational establishment used to entertain themselves by getting into this vehicle, taking the handbrake off, then putting it into neutral and pushing it either forward or backward into a different parking spot.
     Then, one day, they pushed it too far forward and it hit a teacher's parked car, damaging it.  The owner of the "beater" had finally decided enough was enough, and reported this latest crime to the police.

     The police, displaying a complete lack of humour, explained that moving a vehicle like this was a felony offence, arrested those responsible and ensured they were expelled.
     Oh - sorry, did you expect an amusing and light-hearted ending?
     Nope.