(I've had a lot of coffee today) You will of course recognise a somewhat mangled quote from that Fifties epic (and it IS an epic Tom you cinematic Luddite) "Forbidden Planet" when Doc Ostrow, with his dying breath, explains somewhat cryptically to his commanding officer, John Jacobus (perhaps) Adams, what's been going wrong on Altair IV.
| JJ Adams: What's up, Doc? Doc Ostrow: The game's a foot. |
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| Sinister Eighth Dimensional invaders revealed! |
Hang on, Vulnavia - I hear the distant sound of a steam engine - quick, get the Guard Hog and Hard Hog, nip out and deepen the anti-tank ditch; that way they can't break into the blog*.
Invaders! That's what I wanted to address today, because looking at that fertile font of fervid fiction "Retro Monsters of Sci-Fi", thank you Abebooks for your fearful creature feature, they do seem to have a bit of a pash for all things invade-y. Art? Get cracking!
Your Humble Scribe hasn't read any of these, and I've never even heard of the splendidly-named "Fletcher Pratt", whilst editor "Groff Conklin" is one of those names like "Mel Giedroyc" or "Alan Yentob" - legitimate but sounds like an anagram. All I can tell you is that John's novel is one of those super-science space-smasher stories with ever-larger ray guns being used, probably written back in the Thirties. No idea what Pat's book is about, except that it's for "Young Adults" <cringes>, the Groff Conklin is an anthology of stories, and in Fletcher's everyone is turned into metal. Or something.
Well, I think that's enough Invader-y wibble. Motley! Look at this signed photograph of Roy Thinnes ...
Back To The Battle Of Lower Splene -
I have just finished Turn Seven, which required a lot of backing and filling, as it's the first turn where blows have been exchanged and I had to go backwards and forwards in the "Polemos" rulebook to ensure I got things right. If we can have a picture of when the battle commenced, Art -
Nice and symmetrical, nicht wahr? Of course this is before things start to get affected by random factors, the enemy (whom it doesn't pay to ignore or neglect), manoeuvring and Conrad getting the rules right/wrong/nowhere in sight. Let us have the situation at the end of Turn Seven.
The action has been taking place north-east of centre, and I even have a close-up for you**. Art!
That infantry base ("Shot Heavy" in rule parlance) has just been charged by some of the Oxford horse, and has Recoiled, at Shaken Level 2, which is why it's now out of position; you may be able to just make out the two separate wounded bases next to it's starboard edge which show what Shaken level it's at. Unfortunately for the Parliament foot, their side doesn't have any Tempo Points left, or they could try to Rally and stop the retreat. Turn Eight promises to be one where a lot more fighting occurs.
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| "Zounds! Also, Odds Bodkins!***" |
Bitten By The Coincidence Hydra, Yes, AGAIN
Conrad's mate Richard, he who dwells in distant Storrs, has been asking for classic albums he's not heard before in order to stay sane during lockdown. As an example, he recently listened to "Pet Sounds", "Wish You Were Here" and "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band".
This is where the Coincidence Hydra storms in, fangs a-gnashing, because what else had Richard been listening to? Why, none other than - Art?
Of course I'd mentioned this very same band and track and gone on Spotify to listen to it earlier this week, for the first time ever. What are the chances of that happening, hmmmm?
A Little Musical Critique
As it is with films, so it is with lyrical interpretation here at BOOJUM! because we are nothing if not pedantic hair-splitters of the very best/worst/archetypical <delete where appropriate> kind. It's a gift, you know, that we're happy to share with you all.
I mentioned earlier this week how I had two songs I was going to analyse, one of which was apparently a big hit, except it was rap so I wouldn't know. The other one is "Nude Spoons" by The Associates, and - what can I say? Take it away:
I wrote a note and dug it underground
Ahem! Don't you mean "put it underground"? One must get the grammar correct, you know.
I dug it underground
Or - is this "Dug" as in the hippyish Sixties expression that means you enjoyed it?
(See yesteryon's blog for more on "Going Underground")
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| I can dig this. |
I found a tool to scrape away the soil
We would call this a "Spade"
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| - and one who wields it would be a Spader |
I found a wooden soil
No you didn't! You found a "Plank"
It lies there canistered for future reference
Which? Note? Tool? Plank?
It lies there canistered
Yes, we got that
It lies there canistered for future reference
WE KNOW! WE KNOW! WE KNOW!
(Since you like repeating things in triplicate)
It lies there canistered with nude spoons euphoria
I think at this point you're just picking random words from the dictionary.
Nude spoons in triplicate
You have to ask yourselves what The Associates were thinking or drinking to come up with this wibble. And there are more verses!
Which we will come back to - it doesn't seem fair to unload the whole song on you in one go.
Finally -
Blimey, the blog has been popular today and yesterday. As you know, we go down big in South Canada, perhaps because when we mock them, it's a gentle kind of mockery. Then there's the Ruffians - whose government we lambast, because we know it upsets Tsar Putin. The people themselves deserve a plaudit or two, because they did come up with the T34. Art?
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| T34 Mobile syringe pump |
* Sentient steam engines - they can be such arrant swines.
** You lucky people.
*** Conrad unsure if this is period appropriate, but it sounds like it. Especially if you twirl your moustache whilst saying it.
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