To quote Brigadier Alistair Gordon Lethbridge-Stewart, late of the Scots Guards, creator of UNIT, damn his impeccably-polished shoes!
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| Some bad guys are about to have a very unpleasant day |
Which has nothing to do with what I intend to bend your ears about, which is INSPIRATION. HG Wells had the Second Unpleasantness starting due to a raspberry pip, and we've nearly had a Third Unpleasantness due to flocks of geese, and of course Sir Isaac was driven to scientific discovery when that Braeburn got him on the napper.
Conrad is stuck close to the doors at work, and the noise they may when closing mirrors that of a sound effect from Star Trek, The Original Series*.
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| Cult it may be, classic it is |
Which led me to check out the sound effects present on the Enterprise's bridge. There are a lot, although they are generally muted enough to be background and don't interrupt conversation. Have a go at this yourself sometime. There's a whole palette of sounds they created especially for the series, although I think they did nick one from "The War of the Worlds" 1956 iteration.
Now that's over, let the motley totter forward!
Just A Thought
How would you shave a weasel? "Extremely carefully", is the instant and obvious retort. Given that you felt the need - nay, the desire - to shave your weasel, Conrad would recommend resorting to professional veterinary care, so they can sedate the little feller, and only then would you be able to depilate your life companion**. After that I think you'd need to knit them a coat, because with their high metabolic rate and surface-area-to-mass ratio, they are likely to suffer from hypothermia.
Later add-in: I cannot find any pictures of shaved weasels, so it's probably not just dangerous but illegal, too.
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| Conrad: raised by weasels |
"The Strain" By Guillermo Del Toro And Chuck Hogan
Aha! Take warning, for there be SPOILERS ahead, matey. Ooh arr. Also, Jim lad.
I trust that the warning about SPOILERS has hit home. Given that, I will stop talking like Robert Newton's Long John Silver.
We are concerned with the novels here, definitely not the televisual version as they part company after the first book. Okay, in the novel, the Allotment remains practically-vampire free; apparently we blew up the Chunnel, then hunted all the leeches down and destroyed them.
GAPING PLOT HOLE! GAPING PLOT HOLE!
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| Say hello to a duology |
Our heroes go through purgatory in order to obtain a portable pocket nuke - the Ruffian equivalent of a Special Atomic Demolition Munition - which lacks a detonator, and then have to hunt down the Master's point of origin etcetera etcetera.
The Royal Navy has four fleet ballistic missile submarines. Our heroes would have been better advised to contact the Allotment and target the Master's bijou New York residence with a 500 kiloton Trident warhead. A bang like that would stop him in his tracks, pretty definitively. Then again, it would be a pretty short trilogy.
Ooh arr!
Who Are You And Why Should I Care?
As seen on the side of a bus - "Digital FM - Ronan and Harriet!"
Actually I don't think there was an exclamation mark***, but the whole thing was so disgustingly smug it ought to be there. Who are these people?
No, that was rhetorical, I don't want an answer because I don't care. I take it these are the kind of celebritutes who crop up in the pages of The Chip Wrapper^?
Go very far away very quickly!
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| Death Valley. Far enough. |
Here an aside, because I got notification from Facebook about a post from several years ago, gloating about Steve Penk selling-on Revolution Radio. This bumbletuck bought the station and immediately changed the music format, making it what was unkindly yet accurately described as "Radio 2 with adverts". The DJs all walked out on the spot. There was a brief uptick in listeners, then it fell back to practically what it was pre-buyout, when the owners (the M.E.N.) were mismanaging it badly. Penk eventually gave up and sold it on. So much for him "taking on the big boys"!
I Strongly Suspect -
Haven't checked, as that would take an effort, but your humble hack is pretty firmly convinced that the Special Boat Service and the Marinenjagerkommandoen both train together to tackle incidents aboard the North Sea oil rig community. The MJK, as you ought to know if a regular reader of the blog, are the Norwegian special forces dedicated to marine activity - it's in the name. They are rough, tough lads (and lasses) who have seen active service in Afghanistan as part of the NATO force there.
There it goes again! The Star Trek door squeak!
It's unlikely that people with ill intent would try to take over an oil rig, but it pays to be prepared. Jeg skal rote deg! as the MJK say^^.
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| Bad guys, take note |
* The only series, as far as purists like myself are concerned.
** You monster!
*** Exclamation MARK, not "point". Take note.
^ A.k.a. The Metro
^^ "I will **** you up.^^^"
^^^ Only teasing. **** = "Mess".
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